To complain about this policeman?

[shabbi]

Okay, short backstory.

Ex has been a continuous nightmare. He's been arrested multiple times, eventually charged with harassment.
Arrested again and bailed.

We moved to this house so he wouldn't know where we lived (he was turning up at the last one).
He then moved in with estranged family two minutes away a few weeks later.

Yesterday, he saw us as I was playing with our little boy.
He didn't approach us, he went up onto the nearby high path staring at us.

We live very close to there and could see him hovering so took a detour home, but could see him for twenty minutes pacing back and forth in the same spot looking directly at our house and watching for us.
In my head, he's clearly desperately trying to find out where we live and I found that ridiculously scary last night.

Anyway, I just rang the police helpline for advice especially with an ongoing investigation after him already being charged, and the man I spoke to was awful.
He could've politely told me there's nothing they could do about it and sympathised but he continuously interrupted me scoffing and saying "well, he's hardly outside your house, is he? What do you expect us to do?"

He was really patronising and made me feel so stupid. He wasn't outside my house because he doesn't know where we live (after we had to quickly move for our own safety), so I find it very alarming how desperately he's trying to find out.

Anyway, should I complain? I'm in two minds. I felt so put down when I was already completely panicked visibly watching that situation, but I don't want to be patronised again and be told essentially he was right and to suck it up.

@Jimdandy that won't have been an officer. That was a call handler.

@newyearnoeu it does matter because it brings up negative stories and rumours about police officers when it's not them. It's like wanting to complain about a surgery receptionist and instead complaining about a nurse.

Definetly complain.

If the police took stalking more seriously there would be less women ending up death. This man was very much out of order and his response was an absolute disgrace.

Maybe he was having a bad day, as the emergency services are under a lot of strain / stress. Imo, I don’t think it’s enough to warrant a report

The person you spoke to
Op will be a call handler not a policeman.

it may not have been a police officer you spoke to and manybe it was a call handler. in my experience they range in ability (like all people) and it sounds like he could do with training.

i would write an email to complain.

If he was charged to
Court was there a court case op? If he was convicted at court you could have had a restraining order.

I'm really confused by this.

He wasn't outside your house, but you could see him looking directly at your house, despite the fact that he doesn't know where you live?

To everyone saying he wasn't a policeman, I actually think he was (I could be wrong), because when I asked for his name, he said he was PC __ - I assumed this always meant police officer. I'm not sure if I'm wrong - someone correct me if I am!

Also @ChangeThePassword , I thought I was clear.

So, he knows the exact area we live in, there's only a few buildings in our area.
He positioned himself on a higher up path so he was in a position to see all of those buildings.
We'd took a detour without him seeing and went in the back of our building.
From our window, we could clearly see him watching these several buildings to see which one we went into and scouting for us.
He wouldn't have been able to see us in our window from the distance and the sun, but he'd be able to see us going into one of the front doors.

Does that make sense?

I assume he was stalking the area and looking into the houses to see any signs. That op lived there.

Sorry if i misunderstood but do you live with a new partner op? If so does ex know what he looks like? Just to be on the safe side. But yes definitely report again and complain about the policeman/call handler.

@RyanBergarasTeeth yes, my new partner has had awful encounters with him too, unfortunately!

Is there a restraining order preventing his coming near you? If he's continually charged with harassment, then apply for one if you don't have one. And ask to speak to the specialised domestic abuse team rather than the jobbing copper who thinks it's only a crime if you get walloped.

Use the word STALKING. Tell them you are being stalked and the stalker has located you bu chance and followed you. Repeat the word STALKER. Call Paladin and get further advice.

paladinservice.co.uk/

The Police were appalling at protecting me from a stalker, laughed at me and called me hysterical. It's totally unacceptable.

@NowSissyThatWalk actually it was an a Police Officer in my case. A person I used to work with used to work at the call centre with him, and he was there on light duties. Please don’t presume to tell me who I spoke too and who I complained about!!

Depends how far your call got, to the police control room you’d be speaking with a police officer but he sounds a but horrible your ex sounds very intimidating and scary and I’d call again log what happened and speak to whoever is dealing with the harassment stuff to link it up and try to see if you can make sure he stays away from your area/distance from you? Tell them you felt fobbed off at a time where you were scared and worried due to past behaviour, people don’t move and hide their address for nothing.
Hope things work out ok op horrible time for you, I was stalked and harrased by an ex and it’s horrid.

In some forces they do have police officers answering 101 calls some of the time - they shuttle people around according to demand. Also it could have been an officer on restricted duties. Most people answering calls are civilians, but not all.

And yes, complain, it will be very easy for them to listen to the call recording and deal with it.

Thank you for the clarification, that mashes much more sense to me.

Yadnbu. This is something that really does need to be taken seriously.

Sorry this doesn't add up.

And police cannot dictate where members of the public can go - it seems like this was a chance encounter?

The police were just vilified for trying to tell people where they can go during the covid lockdown.

Do you have a restraining order? Did the original case go to court ? If not , why not? If he now makes a habit of being on you're street yes - call police . If it was a one off chance encounter that made you feel a bit uneasy by all means log your concerns but it's not a crime for you to bump into an ex once .

We're you not offered a restraining order on conviction at court ?

Restraining order?

He was given a harassment notice to not come near me and broke it twice within a week.
Got arrested.
Broke his bail conditions by approaching us again.
Went to court and got charged with harassment.
Approached us again 10 days ago and was arrested.
Bailed again.
Then this incident.

No restraining order. They said for court to offer that there has to be bad threats made, but there was several cases of aggression and threats that led to the first harassment notice.
As I said in a previous comment, they said there was no need to have a harassment notice/restraining order in place because as he's already been convinced of harassment, there is grounds to arrest if he approaches us anyway.

Of course complain. Sadly, there are twats in every walk of life.

If you don’t have one, look into a non mol.

You are totally in the right to complain. Those replies that suggest the police have no powers in this are behind the times. Please complain.

Yes, complain. And I work for the police. Whether or not they could have taken action, the response was not appropriate. In my area they are busy but actually not as busy as usual and that's no excuse for being an arse anyway. If it was a call into 101 they will have a recording. You can call 101 and say you want to complain. This in our force would be initially dealt with by the duty inspector. Or you can go online to your force area for details on how to complain.

I am utterly in awe of 90% of my organisation, 9% could do better, 1% should not be in the job.

ok had a read of op properly

ring back op. 101. ask who the officer in case is for the current open investigation - and ask them to contact you. hope that's of help.