To let my dm in my garden

[cherrybloss]

Ok...my grandad has died and we need to sort the funeral. My dm lives alone and wants to discuss the arrangements face to face ~ We've tried doing things over the phone but she is really struggling with no support.

She's asked if I will open my back gate and let her sit In my garden two metres or more away from me so we can go through the arrangements and write the eulogy together. She wouldn't be touching anything apart from her bum on one of my garden chairs.

Thoughts?

Yes, I'd do it without a second thought. She's vulnerable and needs help, it would be a boost to her so go ahead.
Sorry for your loss

It wouldn't cross my mind not to.

Totally fine. I'm sorry for your loss

Absolutely! Do it.

Absolutely!!!!! You should do it. I am so sorry for your loss!

Yes I would, I’d have a glass of fizz or gin to toast your grandad too!

Thank you. My instinct is to say yes of course but so many people moaning on social media has made me worry about what the neighbours would think. I suppose if anyone bothers to mention it I can just tell them what's happened.

Do it.

Usually I roll my eyes when people say 'it's just once / just in my garden / we've got no symptoms etc, but in your situation I think that it would be fine.

I'm so sorry for your mum, mine lost her dad a couple of years ago and would have been in pieces without support.

Yes definitely

Sorry, it must be tough for your DM, I would do it without hesitation. She needs your support, I hope it helps her through such a difficult time,

I am sorry for your loss. In the circumstances I can understand this.

However, as someone whose family don't live on my door step I am getting pretty annoyed at my neighbours continually having garden visitors or chats on the doorstep. I appreciate that they think they are abiding by the rules but it really irks me when I can't see any of my family because of distance. I'd love to chat to my family in my garden too but because they all live one or two hours away we can't do that.

In your position I'd have a socially distant chat too but please be prepared for your neighbours to judge you, particularly if they don't know the circumstances. Can't lie - I'm judging and resenting mine.

Once more I'm very sorry for your loss.

I would do it.

I don't know your neighbours but personally I couldn't give a stuff what other people choose to do so long as it doesn't directly affect me and I certainly don't give a stuff what other people think about me. Barring a few who are important to me and whose views I respect.

Wouldn't enter my head not to. God of all times. I'm so sorry for your loss and for how distraught your Mum must be to alone at this time.

I'm now worrying about the funeral. It's going to be awful to have to sit apart.

I would absolutely and I couldn’t care less what the neighbours thought.

I’ve been round and done the same with my sister in our mums garden because she’s just fled an abusive relationship and needs support. My neighbours have also done similar where they’ve sat at opposite ends of the garden.

@Helia but you would do this is distance wasn't a problem I guess?

Do what you have to do to get through this difficult time. Could your mum move in with your household for a bit?

Oh, sorry, I thought it was her husband that had died.

Still, I think you have to take the risks you can live with when people's MH or distress is high. I would definitely let her in the garden.

Definitely.

Sorry for your loss.
Yes, have your dm in your garden.

Of course it is fine to do this. I'd be hard pushed not to give my mum big hugs and kisses too though. Is there any way she could move in with your family (or you into her home) until this is all over so you can be on hand to support her?

Yes i would absolutely, my best friend lost a much wanted baby last week. I walked over to her house, took my own chair & cuppa and we sat across the garden. It was so good to be able to talk face to face. I think it will be good for you both. You'll just have to resist the urge to hug her. Sorry for your loss op

I am so sorry for your loss. I would absolutely do this and ignore the neighbours if anyone says anything.

Can she move in with you for support if you have a period of self isolation beforehand?