To want to quit home schooling

[cookiesandcream27]

I'm so fucking sick of this. I'm working full time from home. Everyday I'm trying to spend at least an hour going through the kids official school work with them - I.e the work that's been sent via an app from school. Everyday it ends in tears. I'm impatient and on edge because I should be working. They are bored and not interested in it. I'm really bad at trying to explain stuff. The resources and tasks that are being sent all require various different logons and systems they more often than not don't work. So I spend more time faffing with that and getting more cross!

I feel like I just want to give up. They're getting nothing from it. But I'm aware that all the other kids seem to be doing it and contributing all their work to the class blog and don't want mine to be perceived as the ones not bothering.

I'm trying to keep them drawing, reading, gardening etc. But it's so hard to keep them engaged when I'm working and not doing it with them. Feeling like I'm failing at everything at the minute.

Ignore the ridiculously judgemental posters, who must be struggling enormously in their own lives to need the boost of putting someone else down.
I echo the message of a PP who recommended ditching the complicated/time consuming instructions from school and going with Bitesize. 3 short lessons a day designed for exactly this situation. They are ideal. There is also a daily programme on iplayer for each age group - only about 20 mins and presented by the CBBC presenter Karim. Again, ideal. Think of it as a payback for the license fees you’ve paid all these years

@Sauron You're right that what I said wouldn't be the response to you and your scenario. For what it's worth, I sympathise and I think it's wrong that the school won't differentiate for SEN; that's part of their job. I would suggest there might be someone senior (HT or SENCO) you could contact, if not the class teachers themselves.

However, the OP is 'so fucking sick' of 'spending at least an hour' on helping her kids with what they've been given to do by their teachers. This is not exactly onerous on top of a normal working day with no commute and frankly pitiful compared to what others are dealing with.

Also - add in a “natural world” section - a David Attenborough documentary with a choice of drawing/writing/modelling based on documentary afterwards.

That’s an hour and a half.

I only make mine do 1 hr of written work twice a week.
On the other 3 days, I make them sit and watch stuff on Netflix with me, like Our Planet or other David Attenborough documentaries.

DS is learning about climate change so its ideal, and DD is learning stuff while watching with us too.

I would honestly stop trying to keep up with the non-working parents and just do what you can rather than stressing them and yourself out.

@WillAshton if you had read my previous posts properly you would have understood that I'm 'fucking sick of' the struggle and pressure of juggling both working and helping the kids and feeling like I'm failing at both. I truly wish I had the time and/or support to focus properly on helping the kids but I don't. The last thing I want is for them to fall behind. If I was as pitiful as you suggest I wouldn't be wasting my time and energy worrying about it.

The teachers may be setting 'work' but it's on a very tricky to use platform that I struggle to use never mind expecting the kids to use it solo. I am trying to find ways to navigate this, engage with them and work too.

You are incredibly cruel and judgemental to hop on a post where someone is clearly struggling purely to tell them how 'laughable' and 'pitiful' their attempts are. I hope that however well educated your children are they don't inherit your clear lack of empathy.

It’s very difficult my DD10 just cracks on with it from 9 am every day, does 3 hrs solid and it’s done by lunch. Even does stuff a day early and has Friday off.
DS 14 totally different kettle of fish, won’t sit down, won’t concentrate, no motivation to do it, does the bare minimum ☹️.
I’ve had to produce him a time table with set lessons and times like he has at school and if he doesn’t stick to it he can’t use the Xbox later on. Its just really hard trying to juggle with FT work and unrealistic to expect decent learning to take place like this,

I have to force DS14 to do anything. He has to sit at the same table as me doing the four subjects (3.5 hours max) he has to do. It's painful. But he knows he can't go on devices until he finishes. Sometime i miraculously takes 2 hours. Sometimes we have a row.

Don't beat yourself up. It's bloody hard working FT and trying to get kids to do school work. I'm fed up of doing two jobs basically plus Chief bastard cook and shopper.

@WillAshton your input is not needed here because I don’t think you’re trying to help at all.
Very good suggestion from Apple that you try to do a bit of work with them at the weekend instead, but I would still advise BBC Bitesize rather than trying to faff about with the school platform. Plus the nature side as suggested above - Steve backshall is doing a live ‘lesson’ which I’m sure is accessible whenever is convenient.

@cookiesandcream27

I hope that however well educated your children are they don't inherit your clear lack of empathy.

Yours will likely look for an excuse to opt out of anything challenging, think they need special treatment over others for no justifiable reason and lack resilience.

You're the one causing them to be in tears over it all - not a login to a website.

I've read what you've said carefully. And my opinion is still it is unreasonably of you to 'want to quit' on their behalf. You haven't really read all I've said; just the bits you want to take offence at, to justify to yourself that it's fine to do a substandard job here. I've given plenty of suggestions, like others.

For example, have you contacted the school? Have you let the kids try without interrupting? Have you even told yourself you don't need to actively teach and to take a step back? Or did you say you lost your temple with them...?

My sons teacher is incredibly consciousness. At parents evening she will not just say he is doing a good job. She will list ways in which he could strive to be better. She looks at every opportunity to get each child to raise their game. Her literal words to me were "please don't worry about doing all the set work. Reading is still the most important thing. We don't want to add any additional pressure. Sometimes it's hard enough just to get through the day." She is a brilliant teacher, and I will actually never forget that she said that. It was insightful, kind and wise. Sometimes you don't need someone to say have you tried this, this and this. Just to acknowledge that yes, it's bloody hard, but you are doing your best and that's good enough.

OP I would give up on this thread if I were you because it has been hijacked. Maybe screenshot all the useful suggestions from previous posters and then delete the thread.

*conscientious

@WillAshton yes I've contacted the school. Their teachers were both very understanding and reiterated the point that many children aren't participating, the work isn't compulsory and it's just there for parents who have the time and/or choose to help them along in their studies. They actually told me not to worry about it.

As I've repeatedly said, the platform is so hard to navigate that it's impossible for them to use it themselves. Although they do draw, read, watch Bitesize and do other things independently. The thing I am finding stressful is the pressure to submit their official school work, explain things that I don't fully understand myself and use a platform that is difficult to understand. All while trying to work too.

Thankfully I've received some really helpful advice on how to manage our time more successfully and also recommendations for other resources that they might find easier to use without my input. Really grateful for those.

Will bow out now though because despite all the reassuring replies, it's still really tough to hear how pitiful, laughable and substandard you are when you're already feeling like a huge failure.

OP I'm wfh full time too with 2 too so I totally get it. Going insane with the feral-ness and sibling rivalry which is exactly what happens every summer holiday. You are doing fine. Mine won't even watch Bitesize or videos from school (unless it is of their teacher).

Don't let some posters guilt trip you. Yes they may fall a bit behind but they will catch up. I totally ignore my own sister and DC's classmates who are submitting essays, volcanoes and completing 1000000 piece puzzles unsupervised.

Also, with my sister, she was one of those dull goody-goodies who did all her homework and art projects - I still caned her in every subject and sport.

I printed mine off a load of relevant sheets from twinkl and put them in clear folders 3 per day, then we do something on ringfit, a craft, go for a walk, the sheets sometimes are just word searches relevant to the subject they are learning about, maths sheets, even a colouring for an art lesson etc, for some reason they enjoy this more. Even my year 7 child likes them, they both have google classroom and complete what they can and help them but if they are stuck then teachers are there to help but we can all only do what we can do, my year 4 had one sheet on 20th March and nothing until after Easter holiday so I’d been doing my own stuff which she enjoyed and now they’ve been given so much work and some of it they’ve never been taught. I wouldn’t worry too much. My eldest asked who Alfie Wicks is because she needs to do a PE lesson with him shows they don’t pay attention to anything haha!

My friend is a yr5 teacher. She said out of the class of around 30, only 4 have even logged in. Don’t believe everything parents are saying.

I am glad you got helpful replies.

Am I being unreasonable to be so fucking stressed that I'm so ineffective at supporting my chikdren?

Their teachers were both very understanding and reiterated the point that many children aren't participating, the work isn't compulsory and it's just there for parents who have the time and/or choose to help them along in their studies. They actually told me not to worry about it.

Oh wait, I'm not and have no need to start a dramatic thread for sympathy.

OP, arguing with idiots is like playing chess with a pigeon.

Just a two questions for @willashton are you 100% looking after two children or more? And are you working full time?

@MrsTerryPratchett, I always love your contributions

OP, please don't feel stressed. I'm a teacher, and I post work because some parents find it easier to get their work done if their kids have something to do. But I teach these kids - I know that many of them need someone breathing down their necks, and I also know that parents won't be able to do this effectively for all sorts of reasons at the moment. I'm not at all concerned about those pupils who aren't getting the work done as long as they aren't spending the whole day on screens (which it doesn't sound like yours are). I appreciate those parents who have been honest with me as then I'll know what to keep an eye on when all is back to normal.

As a mum, I haven't done the vast majority of "work" sent for my child (who, admittedly, is much younger than yours). It would make use both miserable! I cannot do my job and teach my child at the same time. Her teacher is completely understanding about this.

I've been a teacher for years. Pupils that have good mental health and good relationships with their parents tend to turn out Ok! That's more important than how many worksheets they've completed in their lives. If you can get them to do something educational, wonderful. But don't push them too far, if you can't get them to do it without damaging your relationship with them then it honestly isn't worth doing.

I’m working until 3 then home schooling 4-8pm and for about 20 hours over Saturday and Sunday. So not everyone is doing conventional school hours. Just fitting it in where ever we can.

I’m also a single mum working full time

I do 3 days a week (maybe 4 ) and an hour each per child
I’m focussing on the topics that look interesting for both of us and have stopped beating myself up
I suggest you do the same

Ugh I feel for you. My two are primary aged and if one's not crying about his work the other is huffing because it's too hard / it's too much / I've not done this before / blah blah blah.

My patience is so thin with them. I am working from home and my job is massively different now and really stressful and I am feeling torn in every direction. They are doing different topics and seem to have no patience. they just want to go out and play football or play on the switch.
I find it really hard to keep calm but it is so hard.

Teacherss are going to have to pick up from where we left off. Home learning is so different in every household...some doing loads in an effective way....some doing nothing...

My job? Primary school teacher!! Would far rather teach a full class than teach my kids for the couple of hours a day they're doing.

It’s really tough. I am also working and have an older child - year 9 - and she gets on with her work but does sometimes need a bit of help or wants to discuss something, etc. And I am finding it really stressful as I feel like I can’t give anything my full attention - not my work, not my dd, not the house. This afternoon I was sitting at my desk sobbing as I was just feeling so overwhelmed by it all. It’s just the two of us so no other adult to share the practical or emotional load.

I get it @cookiesandcream27 It’s really hard, especially on your own. Please ignore the goady poster who is never coming back to say how they’re working ft and doing everything for 2 dc on their own! Of course they’re not.

You’re not failing your kids, you’re providing for them in every way to the best of your ability alone. You’re amazing. Honestly just try to squeeze in what you can - maybe ask school for online times tables games and do some reading with them plus the oak academy or bbc bite size? Don’t stress about what parents who have the time and resource to do more are doing - this will end, and at 7 and 9 there’s plenty of time for them to learn what they need to when schools go back.