To want to quit home schooling

[cookiesandcream27]

I'm so fucking sick of this. I'm working full time from home. Everyday I'm trying to spend at least an hour going through the kids official school work with them - I.e the work that's been sent via an app from school. Everyday it ends in tears. I'm impatient and on edge because I should be working. They are bored and not interested in it. I'm really bad at trying to explain stuff. The resources and tasks that are being sent all require various different logons and systems they more often than not don't work. So I spend more time faffing with that and getting more cross!

I feel like I just want to give up. They're getting nothing from it. But I'm aware that all the other kids seem to be doing it and contributing all their work to the class blog and don't want mine to be perceived as the ones not bothering.

I'm trying to keep them drawing, reading, gardening etc. But it's so hard to keep them engaged when I'm working and not doing it with them. Feeling like I'm failing at everything at the minute.

Give them more free time during your working week, and use a couple of hours at the weekend to give your exclusive time to help with schooling, that leaves you more than enough for real family time - unless you do work 7 days a week.

It's home, it doesn't have to be Monday to Friday, that's the beauty of it.
You would be better off banning tv/tablets (non-school ones) during the weekend, and allow them a set daily time on them. They are happy, you work, and it's a good incentive to work at weekend if that's their reward.

The biggest mistake is try to replicate school. Teachers are available 9 to 3 on a normal day, you are not. Not a big deal.

We've got a 5 year old and a 7 year old. Also a 1 year old. I decided from the beginning I was going to do my own thing when it comes to schooling. So they are still learning but it's in a way that fits in with our family. Ive not done the school set work as I dont like Purple Mash (the website they use). I've found Oak National Academy website brilliant for the 7 year old. Its really easy to use. It has videos with real teachers for each year group. It's government approved too. He will do 1 English lesson on there and a maths /science lesson per day. If that's all he does then at least I know he's learning something. The rest of the time I encourage him to draw or read and write books. Whatever he's interested in but not screen time until lunch time. I do short bursts of maths or reading/writing with the 5 year old whenever he's in a good mood. Find some method that works for you. You don't have to follow the schools work. May be let them learn about subjects they are interested in. Simplify it as much as possible.

I feel your pain. 3 children aged between 10 and 13. DS13 gets his work via email, he regularly gets 20- 23 emails a week and ended up in tears last week as he was so overwhelmed with it all. They are now doing the bare minimum because their mental health will suffer more than their education at this rate. Im working from home so cant help much. I have been a shouty mum because I didn't think they were putting in enough effort but after DS meltdown i need to cut them (and myself) some slack. I dont check schools gallery page because im not bothered what fred, george and mary are doing, ive got enough to concentrate on with my own children. We are all doing our best, its all you can do.

OP I am a teacher and I can't describe how hard it is to teach my own dc (and I need to do it quickly so I can go back to my own work). You're not failing

That was meant to be but a is nice too!

I'm a teacher and can tell you that only about 30% of my class are regularly completing the work.

I've now phoned every parent and there is a wide range of engagement.

Some are indeed doing it all every day, to a schedule.

Some are looking each morning and deciding which lessons they're going to do, and which they're going to leave.

Some are doing their own thing entirely.

The teacher really won't be judging you for this. We completely understand that parents are under enormous stress at the moment. And actually, I doubt that any other parents will be judging you either - how do they know what you're doing behind closed doors?

Having said that, if it was my child, I'd want to keep on top of maths and reading. I wouldn't bother with writing, spelling and other topic-based work if I really didn't have time. Would it be possible to set aside some time for maths/reading before your working day, or after?

I have said to many pupils and parents to forget what they haven't done and start from today. In a day I would have them do a couple of hours of school work in four half hour chunks. In between let them watch a documentary on the planet or build a hospital from lego. So they are learning about stuff.

I teach secondary but it's the mental health of pupils and parents that is more important than school work. They will all catch up eventually as long as they are reading, writing and doing some maths.

Same boat. Three kids all between 11 and 7. Two with special needs. No differentiated work and two working parents. I’ve spent the month feeling crap so now we’re just going to do our own thing.

@cookiesandcream27

I'm not a bloody teacher!

Nobody said you were, and nobody expects you to be.

Your kids have teachers and they are the qualified professionals preparing appropriate work and assessing their progress.

Being a teacher isn't simply about cajoling kids to get on with something.

Sounds as if they are doing quite a bit already OP, even if it is not exactly what the school is setting. There are many educational game apps so it might be an idea to introduce some of them, they might not realise it is school work!

Reading is the most important thing, both reading to you and you reading to them, at this age. I would get them to do some writing, as I think that will be the skill most of them lose over this extended period at home, with the reliance on screens.

But I would say you are doing very well. Are school setting topics, projects, are any of these something they could get on with independently, does not have to be a work of art?

One thing I did over the summer holidays with DS when he was about the age of your eldest was to make an animated film. He was a reluctant writer and wasn't too keen on art either (used to get really stressed when asked to draw something). So I got him to write a mini story, draw the storyboard and then make the models out of lego and then do stop go animation. Kept him busy for hours and got him writing without complaint.

The only children I would be really encouraging to do school work even if struggling would be children Y9 and above as will be a struggle to catch up with GCSE work, even if schools do start to go back after the half term. Other children should hopefully catch up if they are reasonably academic, even if it means they may have to miss out on some of the other parts of the curriculum eg art, when they go back to school.

My patience is currently depleted.
I have the advantage of being a SAHM.
I have the supposed advantage of being a qualified teacher.
DS1 (9) has ASD, dyslexia and dyspraxia. He's the kind of child who finds holding a pencil physically painful. We've had 30 minutes of double meltdown over writing the date for a fucking diary entry. Once quaking with fear because I said "diary" followed up with another after writing/ scrawling "T" and telling him to use his neater writing. (I suppose the thinking through another character's viewpoint is problematic for autistic mindset)
Meanwhile DS2 (7) is also a reluctant writer, possibly dyslexic? Certainly persisting with phonetic spelling and some reversals.

It is not a classroom. While we have the advantage of a good kitchen table, it's not ideal for prolonged sitting at for primary age children.
There are too many distractions. As soon as I focus on one child, the other slips off to play or gawp at youtube minecraft videos. If I try to divide and conquer, "it's not fair" that the other is free to play.
There is no positive peer presure, or role modelling. DS1 masks through a school day and functions (and releases at home) but at present, I've had 6+ weeks of relentless tiptoeing around all his triggers and frequent low level meltdown (saying that, we have had some rolling around wailing on the ground on our daily walks: he doesn't like it, but he copes even worse if he doesn't get out every single day).

There is a reason why two summers ago, I vowed that never again would I have a full summer holiday entirely with them both and decided to enrole DS2 in a weekly sports club to get quiet 1:1 time with DS1 for a refreshing change of dynamic. DS1 is missing alone time. DS2 is being more mardy than usual because he misses his friends.

I remember from teacher training about how to learn effectively, we need to feel secure with all our needs met... well, this ain't the perfect circumstances for effective learning mindset, let alone the practical resourcing issues etc.

I haven't given up, but I have burned out my internal drive to push a routine every day (I need external motivation and my life has been devoid of that structure since it all unravelled 7 weeks ago.

I’m in the same boat. It’s started off ok but now someone is in tears after ten minutes or too tired to do anything. Also trying to work from home. It’s so hard I will genuinely pack it in once we know when they will go back to school.

There are no projects as such. That would probably be better. It's just daily tasks sent through the app. Some are fine and simple to complete. Others require watching a video then logging into another platform to complete the task and so on. Due to the variation and countless logons I can barely keep track of it never mind the kids! Other bits you can do directly on the app but it's limited function makes it hard to do anything than write a simple number answer or something. Basically it's really hard to use and makes the whole process a lot more painful.

I will check out some of the other learning resources I think. They will watch Bitesize quite happily and that doesn't need much involvement from me!

I used to be a teacher and sometimes still do tutoring.

30 minutes focused and planned work is worth almost a whole day in school.

My aim would be to give each child half an hour. I would do the work that was set the day before. This will give you a chance to print off what you need, read through it and think about what the work wants the children to achieve.

This is much better than being frustrated and you will be secure in the knowledge that you doing something productive with them.

The rest of the time they can do crafts, read, BBC bitesize etc. or just watch TV.

Don't worry about what others are doing. If you generally talk and listen to your kids they'll be ahead of the game anyway.

Our school sends all the work the night before for parents to look at and prepare. You could request that? It takes the stress off the next morning.

There is Oak Academy too OP. I am not sure how good it is for your DC's ages and the BBC are running extra programmes/videos.

I would fix certain times during the working day and block them in your work diary ... so say 11-11.30 and 2-2.30 that's dc focus time
Can you start work earlier and maybe squeeze in another 30 minutes.. if not they can joewivks themselves and 30mins reading at the end of work ... doesn't have to be reading could be drawing but you could all alternate picking a story .. good way to transition from work

make sure you switch the phone off
An hour each 1:1 at the weekend for app tasks .... and that's loads...

Small chunks are much better... even if you alternate child every other day ... you can't do everything at the same time!

not bring nasty with you poster but everyone who is classing all this as home schooling is pissing me off

your not home schooling you are doing work at home sent by the school

home schooling by choice and home education is a completely diffrent set up

not getting at you poster but as a veteran home edder everyone who is now saying they are home schooling is making our community angry(well groups on facebook) as your bloody not home schooling you are being made to do school work at home

Oh go away with your oneupmanship about being a “proper” homeschooling.
If you’re so damn good at it @TAKENOSHITSHIRLEY then why don’t you share your experience to say something useful?

1. It doesn’t matter what OP calls it, what she needs on this thread is support. She didn’t say “AIBU to use the term homeschooling”

1. She isn’t, in any case, just supervising school work - she’s mentioned several other things she’s doing, both online options and home devised projects. So yeah - she is homeschooling. Not that you own the word anyway

@TAKESNOSHITSHIRLEY well yeah it's clearly different to what those who choose home Ed are doing. I imagine you do a far better job cos you have looked into it and chosen it not had it forced on you.

But really what else is there to call it? We are schooling and educating our kids as best we can from home. I dont for one second think it's the same or as good as what you're doing but not sure why it would piss the 'community' off

And saying you’re not being nasty or getting at someone, doesn’t change the fact that your post was rude, judgemental and unhelpful.

@cookiesandcream27 ignore her, let her carry her petty soap box off somewhere else.

Sounds like you’re doing quite a lot. At their age, they will never get irreversibly behind, if they even get behind at all.

Can’t you leave the formal education on the days you are working and concentrate on it on the days you’re not.

I think it would be a huge help if teachers could set the work a day early if that makes sense. We are both working (though fortunately my work is very quiet at the minute). As our child is at secondary now teachers are doing a range of things. She needs my help with maths and French sometimes but can manage the other subjects herself. We get up at 6.30 and do those two subjects between 7 and 8.30. Then she does the others herself during the day but has longer breaks as she has done two classes already. Seems to work but would be much harder if those teachers didn't set things 24hrs before it is due in (lots of teachers don't so we are lucky with this). For primary this would allow parents to so a good chunk of core stuff before work starts.

If it makes you feel any better, the Sutton Trust said the other day that a large proportion of children have done nothing since schools shut down.

Honestly, days spent drawing, reading and gardening sound great.

I home ed, but only the 13 year old is doing anything like his normal work. The younger ones (similar ages to yours) are spending hours playing elaborate games together. It’s a really bonding time for them.

In years to come, kids will look back on this time of lockdown as a big thing in their childhood. Someone posted the other day that it may well come up in interviews for older kids. ‘How did you spend lockdown?’ Surely ‘I learnt to play guitar / draw Totoro / grew salad for the first time’ are better answers than ‘I did the work that the school set’?