In event if my death

[MissOrganized]

Looking for a non bias opinion of my thoughts.

With Coronavirus being around and I'm vulnerable, it's got me thinking about my death. I don't have a will (I know I need one) but I am able to insure my pensions go to who I wish at least.

I have 2 pensions; a very good NHS one and an old one from my first job some 14 years ago...I don't put into it now, but it is building interest.
I set it so my husband would get 70% of it and my son 30%
I just want to ensure that if I die, my son gets something to help him when older.

My husband isn't happy...he says everything should go to him. My argument was that he gets the house, he gets my NHS pension and mortgage paid off by my life insurance. He would also get my death in service.
So it's not like he wouldn't be looked after.

Where as if he died, I would get the mortgage paid off and that's it.
He doesn't have a pension nor death in service (self employed) I'm fine with that, I would rather have him than money after all.

I don't think I'm being unreasonable to make sure my only son has something..it wouldn't be much, maybe £7000 if that.

I know as a rule everything goes to spouse..but why shouldn't I look after my son? It's not like I'm leaving everything to him, and leaving husband without.

I've told him I'm not changing it and it's my choice. With him behaving like a spoilt brat in the way he kicked off, it's making me want to put the whole 100% in my sons name.

Please no husband bashing and LTB that's not what I'm looking for. I just want a non bias opinion if I'm being unreasonable by not leaving everything to him

I know as a rule everything goes to spouse

That's not true, though it depends on where you live as laws vary by country, even within the UK.

I'm not familiar with English law, but in Scotland children have a lawful claim on their parent's estate. When a close friend of mine died intestate his children got a share of his estate pretty much automatically. The rules on intestacy are quite complicated and it's worth taking the time to read through them. That might reinforce for you the importance of getting a will drawn up.

I found these rather useful guides for Scotland and England/Wales which might be a good starting point for you. You really should discuss your wishes with a solicitor and get a proper will drawn up if you can (IMHO).

adviser.royallondon.com/globalassets/docs/protection/p9b0002.rules-of-intestacy-scotland.pdf

adviser.royallondon.com/globalassets/docs/protection/p9b0080.rules-of-intestacy-england-and-wales.pdf

I wonder why your husband has such an issue with it! Would he not give your son a lump sum anyway if you DID die?

My mum discovered my grandma has not left everything to her and she was really pissed off So grandma told her if she kept up moaning about it, she'd leave my mums portion to charity

Your pensions are not part of your estate as you hopefully know so your Nomination of Beneficiaries will take precedence over your will, though ultimately it's at the discretion of the pension trustees who have the final say. I expect you know this from what you've written but worth clarifying for others following the thread.

Still worth understanding the rules on intestacy as you will have other assets no doubt.

My kids get 100% of my estate if I pop my cloggs (divorced), in trust until they're 25. It doesn't mean that they can't access it until then - if they need cash for things like a car, driving lessons, uni expenses etc the trustees can pay it out. My will cost £100, relatively simple. I have a couple of pensions already allocated to the kids, life insurance to pay off the mortgage and an OK sum on top, then the house itself. Savings will pay for funeral costs (I stipulated cheapest as possible, don't believe in pomp and ceremony), job done.

Nothing like a pandemic to force people into thinking about getting their affairs in order...

Most people don't leave everything to the Spouse, when there is pensions etc to consider.

There's too many examples of children getting nothing because of remarriage. You can't ever guarantee that a parent will help a teen out. I have to say that it's more commonly men that don't. Step children can sometimes do better because they have two parents, a Step parent who insists on equality, without considering the amount of people each child has, supporting them and GPs from all sides, than a bio child whose other parent has died.

Actually I think ppl need to look at the numbers.
a) If you die soon, your DH will get £16.8k per year to live on and look after your son ( based on the £7k figure = 30% for your son). Do you honestly think that is enough.
b) If you die in 20 years time when your son is older than the £16.8k even allowing for inflation will be hardly anything.
Your pension and his lack there also needs explaining. If he pays more for the running expenses and towards the mortgage, (and maybe as a couple even if he doesn't) , than really your pension would I feel also be part of the pot.
How would you feel if he said that on his death 30% of the house value would go directly to your son cause that would be the direct equivalent.

Please no husband bashing and LTB that's not what I'm looking for
Hahah, on a post on here- wow that made me laugh!

@Stronger76 can I ask which solicitor you used for £100? As that is much cheaper than I've found, so would be interested to see their prices 😊

If you die soon, your DH will get £16.8k per year to live on and look after your son

Is her DH unable to work or claim any benefits? Why would that £16.8k be his sole income?

There's too many examples of children getting nothing because of remarriage. You can't ever guarantee that a parent will help a teen out. I have to say that it's more commonly men that don't.

@Ponoka7 makes a good point, leave your ds more, I say!

I would never leave my money to a spouse / partner. A life intetrest maybe, half of the marital assets, (because they are shared anyway), everything else to kids.

If you leave to partner (and the younger you are the riskier it is), you are leaving your kids exposed. (If he remarries or falls out with them they may well get nothing). So many of my friends (adults now) have lost everything that they might have inherited from a parent only to see it go to someone else and their kids. Just last year my lovely friend whose father remarried late in life had to see his mother's (dead) and father's home, things and money all go to his "stepmother" and her grown up daughters.

There is a will writer on here who did my parents will
It was roughly 350 all done by mail phone internet and it involved separating the tenancy of the house ensuring that the children got at least half of the house when one of my parents died and it didn’t all go to any new partner

Get some decent life insurance on your dh, for Heavens sake!

@Cheeseandwin5

a) If you die soon, your DH will get £16.8k per year to live on and look after your son ( based on the £7k figure = 30% for your son). Do you honestly think that is enough.

Well yes that would be enough as he would get that yearly, PLUS my NHS pension in FULL my death in service IN FULL...PLUS his own income and being mortgage free!! That's a fair amount in my opinion! So is more than £16.8k a year!!!

It's not just the one pension as my post clearly points out 🙄🙄

@Iwalkinmyclothing no that person just didn't read the thread in full!!

He wouldn't get just £16.8k a year! He would get much much more and he works full time for himself

If the £7k a year is just a third of your smaller pension then to be honest I would leave the smaller pension to your son in its entirety. The NHS pension, death in service etc should be more than enough for your husband if he has his own income as well.

@Ponoka7 this was exactly my reason of thought.

Once I get a will done, it will outline everything in full. Atm I can only change my pension beneficiaries etc as it's free to do so.

A legal will isn't cheap, and I have to wait until this pandemic is over (if ever) as finances are tight atm what with husband being self employed during a pandemic

Your dh needs to grow up. Why not protect your son? If you died young, then he could fritter your earned wealth on a new wife and. Nothing goes to your son. He needs to get a better job and pay into a pension.

Have you checked if your life insurance would cover Coronavirus. Some of them have been refusing to pay out as it doesn't cover that? It may be worth a quick check if you haven't already.

YANBU, I’d be doing the other proportions. Your child should be left the most. Although with that attitude it would be sod all to your husband, or in your shoes I would be contemplating ex-husband.

Does he earn enough as self employed to pay bills? If so, I’d leave nothing or very little

@MissOrganized it was a local high street solicitor. They were doing a promotion, maybe during something like Will Awareness week? Is that a thing? Was about 4 years ago.

If you're in a union they sometimes offer legal services for highly subsidised fees. Likewise employers may do initiatives.

Even if you do end up spending a few hundred pounds, having dealt with simple estates without a will, that investment will save you so much time, emotion and fall-out, never mind family arguments and resentment after you're gone.

Sorry, might be a stupid question, but do you have to state who your death in service pension goes to? I assumed it just automatically went to your spouse. Am I supposed to have named him?

I was discussing making a will with my IFA last week. It's on my to do list. I actually contacted a local solicitor last year but she either misunderstood me or wanted to do her own thing so I didn't carry on.

In short, I want to do what my own mother did. She died very suddenly at 54. She left as much as she could under the nil rate band to me and my sister, divided exactly between us. That's the most tax-efficient way to do it. Perhaps that is the angle to take with your DH. If you leave everything to DH, when he dies you DS could potentially have an inheritance tax bill to pay because it could include the full value of your home. Inheritance tax has to be paid before you can get your hands on any assets.

My DDs are now both adults and pretty savvy when it comes to money. So I want to change the ownership of our house to Tenants in Common and leave them my half. Then if DH remarries, he and his new DW would still only own half the house. They could buy the DDs out which means cash for them, or sell up, divide the proceeds and all go their separate ways.

I hope this makes sense. Definitely definitely get professional advice. Also look up inheritance tax.

You are right with your decision. I dont understand why your husband isnt on board? He's coming across like a bit of a prick to be honest.
Why doesn't he want your son to get anything?

Our firm charges £250 + Vat for a straightforward will. Yours might be trickier with trusts and life interest possibly being involved.

But some of the charities offer cheap will writing (in the hope you will leave them something).

www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/free-cheap-wills/

In the meantime, and in your circumstances, I would change it so your son gets all the pension death benefits. There's no law that says you even have to discuss it with your DH.

(Although surely your DH would provide for your son wouldn't he?)