Dating someone with mental illnesses

[FlowersareForever]

The man I've been dating since December has BPD and is bipolar. He is also showing signs of narcissism and the lack of empathy (I don't know if it's all connected). All our conversations has to be about him and the struggles in his life.
My nan passed away 2 weeks ago from cancer and not once has he acknowledged it. He's also blamed me for not caring about him enough while I'm trying to look after my 5 DC so he will ignore me for days at a time. The last time I was ignored was because I didnt message back quick enough, even though all I was doing was helping the kids with their school work. And I'm being ignored again now for a reason I don't even know! It's exhausting!

AIBU to think this will never work?? Should I say goodbye?

I think it’s irrelevant his mh diagnosis he is making you miserable

Even if his actions were down to his mh diagnosis you can’t fix him this is who he is

Move on

Life is too short to put up with that shit, this should be the ‘honeymoon’ phaze, if hes like that in just a few months it’ll only get worse. Run!

Not for a million quid would I date this guy.

Interesting everyone saying this is not down to his mental health when surely mental health affects everyone differently. I would say it is due to his mental health and I would be very wary of him near me or my kids.

Jesus, get him gone! I was with someone like this and it was hell. They don't change because they can't.

Wouldn’t touch your bloke with a barge pole. Dump him.

Run for the fucking hills and quickly!! The guy is an arsehole and do you really need that kind of grief with 5 kids to worry about? I don't think so!

You deserve so much better.
Please walk away.

Please don’t put up with this shit. I did for years and it drained the life out of me. Put his mh issues to one side, if he makes you feel bad things won’t improve and you are better off without him.

Stop dating. You have extremely low self esteem and have five children. Please protect them by not bringing men into your live whilst you lack the capacity to vet them properly.

@opticaldelusion

I have BPD and I don't act like that - in fact I have major abandonment fears and would be terrified of ignoring someone for days on end

... is your experience of BPD. It's not a one-size-fits-all. BPD makes clingy behaviour common. It also makes avoidant behaviour common. Just because you're terrified of ignoring someone doesn't mean everyone with BPD is. They just have a different way of coping with their fear of rejection.

Spot on. I have BPD, and I tend to cut people off/go distant before they can leave me.

You've got 5 children, you haven't got time for this nonsense.