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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let my daughter homeschool my younger daughter?

127 replies

dancemummy7 · 04/05/2020 08:35

I am a key worker, so I am still going to work on weekdays. However, I made the decision to not send my kids to school as my dd has a compromised immune system and I don't want to risk it if its un-necessary. My 15 year old has now left school and is no longer receiving work from her school, and I know if i didn't give her something to do, she wouldn't do anything. Therefore, I made the decision to allow my 15 year old to homeschool my 5 year old, as they don't really learn that much in reception that my daughter wouldn't be able to handle. Everyday, my daughter sends me pictures of them baking, painting, doing ‘pe’ etc, and I love the fact they have this time to bond (to be fair, shes doing a better job than I would haveGrin) My neighbour’s think a 15 year old is incapable of teaching a younger child? Is anyone else doing this? Surely, as-long as they’re staying out of trouble and being creative they should be fine?

OP posts:
CherryStoneTree · 04/05/2020 10:06

I think it’s lovely! And you are helping your 15 year old have a daily purpose as well, that will be huge for her mental health to feel like she still has a role after her exams were cancelled. She’s enjoying it, and even if it’s just colouring all day I really can’t see anything wrong at all with this set up. You sound a lovely little family.

moanyhole · 04/05/2020 10:08

My 11 yo is helping 8yo with his schoolwork. Willingly and competently. Dh and I are both keyworkers and its a massive help. Never once thought twice about it

1forsorrow · 04/05/2020 10:08

I seem to be alone in this, but i think that sounds like an awful lot of responsibility to put on a 15yr old every single day of the week She's a week of 16, I was a year older than her when I was married with a new baby. I think you are underestimating the almost 16 year old.

When I was that age most of us had been doing a fulltime job for a year.

Ginseng1 · 04/05/2020 10:09

Sounds great. My 12 yr old great at minding my 3 yr old while we wfm just for an hour here n there. It's what families do & it's a credit to her she keen & enthusiastic to do it.

Malbecfan · 04/05/2020 10:11

Teacher here. Your neighbour is ridiculous. It's a wonderful thing for both your DDs. It's great for the older one to plan activities at the right level for her little sister. It's a wonderful bonding time for the younger one. The younger will get far more individual attention than she would at school anyway. I think it's brilliant.

Last week my cousin posted a photo of her DS learning his times tables over FaceTime with his older cousin. Both are only children; the older one lives in mainland Europe so they don't spend much actual time together but adore one another. Both children benefit massively from it; the little one learns his tables and it reinforces the learning in the older one because you have to be secure to teach it successfully.

Lsquiggles · 04/05/2020 10:12

That sounds lovely, I would've loved my sister to do that when I was younger! I think they'll look back fondly at this time they get to spend together Smile

ALittleBitofVitriol · 04/05/2020 10:14

Sounds absolutely lovely!
My 15 year old is my 6 year old's music teacher and it works very well for both of them.

Lynda07 · 04/05/2020 10:15

I think it's a great idea! What does it have to do with your neighbours anyway and how do they know?

Dragonsanddinosaurs · 04/05/2020 10:15

It sounds like you have found a way that works for all of you. If it gets both of your DC through the lockdown sane and in a position to continue their schooling at the end then that is all you can ask for at the moment.

Ragwort · 04/05/2020 10:16

Of course it’s fine, and its hardly ‘too much responsibility’ I assume she is not teaching the 5 year old Greek and further maths all day Hmm. There is another adult in the house and there is plenty of ‘free time’ left as well.

Most 15/16 year olds are laying around in bed (as is my 19 year old Uni student DS), I think it’s a great arrangement.

viewfromthecouch · 04/05/2020 10:19

Your oldest sounds lovely. A bit of work and then cooking and arts and crafts sounds brilliant.

I do hope your older daughter is prepping a bit for her A levels, Lots of resources out there right now online.

Your neighbour sounds jealous, tbh. Does she have children at home?

Frazzled2207 · 04/05/2020 10:23

If the older daughter is happy about it I think this is perfectly fine given the circumstances

seltaeb · 04/05/2020 10:25

I have no idea why anyone would think this is not OK. It sounds as though it is working really well.

Itsnotalwaysme · 04/05/2020 10:27

That sounds fantastic, for both children.

It works for your family, that's all that matters

GetOffTheTableMabel · 04/05/2020 10:28

Good Lord! Heap praise and thanks on your older daughter. Give her extra allowance and extra privileges.. Scatter rose petals at her feet.
Mature, kind, responsible, helpful. I think you should feel a bit proud of yourself too for raising such a conscientious and considerate young person. Please, please keep letting her know that she has your thanks and respect for this.

Rumpusinthejungle · 04/05/2020 10:29

I think it's lovely. With that age gap siblings dont often spend a lot of time together, but your younger DD will always remember the weeks/months her sister was by her side having fun and learning with her. If your older DD is happy to do it, which she is, then it is brilliant.

GreyishDays · 04/05/2020 10:35

Sounds lovely if your eldest is happy. I don’t think there is pressure to get hours of school work done. Or there shouldn’t be at age five. My older ones are not doing that much each day as were focussing on their general well-being balanced with DH and I trying to work. We are not the only ones, so I’ve no worries of them getting behind. I’d rather that they were mentally ok at the end of it.

PrivateD00r · 04/05/2020 10:38

Sounds like a brilliant set up! Your older dc sounds absolutely wonderful for wanting to do it, my dd of that age would never be so kind to her little sister.......

CantSleepClownsWillEatMe · 04/05/2020 10:42

This sounds great to me and I wouldn’t worry what your neighbour thinks. Some people have very low expectations of teens and what they’re capable of but being trusted with some responsibilities can be really good for their confidence.

It sounds like dd is happy doing this and it probably gives her a sense of purpose and achievement as well as some structure to her day. A lot better for her mental health than spending weeks on end shut in her room looking at her phone. You should be very proud of her Smile.

SugarOrSweetenerWithTheTea · 04/05/2020 10:53

I wouldn’t have an issue with this, your neighbours are being unreasonable

BlueSuffragette · 04/05/2020 10:54

Sounds like it is working really well. Your eldest DD seems to enjoy it and your youngest seems to having fun learning. What's not to like? Treat for DD when lock down is over would be lovely.

SandyY2K · 04/05/2020 11:00

It sounds brilliant. You should be proud of your DD15...... that's so lovely they get on so well.

Learning comes in all different forms and your 5 year old wouldn't be doing curriculum learning in school at the moment anyway.

MorganKitten · 04/05/2020 11:00

It gives her her responsibility, I’d look at giving her a small wage after turning 16, and the younger one gets bonding time.
It might even make the older one think about what she wants to do job wise, if she enjoys this she might go into childcare.

ajs88 · 04/05/2020 11:07

This sounds great!

At 15 years old I was teaching sports to similar aged kids as part of a program I was participating in and volunteering at my mums school (focused activities with small groups) which both she and her head were delighted with. I found it fun and the kids loved the extra engagement.

Also how much of school do you or your neighbor remember? I'm sure a lot less then your daughter.

Wotsitsarecheesy · 04/05/2020 11:12

Sounds excellent to me too. I have DCs in Y11 and Y13 and neither of them are getting any work at all from school either, so given that they are stuck at home (they are both normally sports mad) they have taken to lying in bed a lot and playing computer games. What your eldest DD is is sooooo much better for her, as well as for your younger DD. It's a fantastic arrangement.

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