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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let my daughter homeschool my younger daughter?

127 replies

dancemummy7 · 04/05/2020 08:35

I am a key worker, so I am still going to work on weekdays. However, I made the decision to not send my kids to school as my dd has a compromised immune system and I don't want to risk it if its un-necessary. My 15 year old has now left school and is no longer receiving work from her school, and I know if i didn't give her something to do, she wouldn't do anything. Therefore, I made the decision to allow my 15 year old to homeschool my 5 year old, as they don't really learn that much in reception that my daughter wouldn't be able to handle. Everyday, my daughter sends me pictures of them baking, painting, doing ‘pe’ etc, and I love the fact they have this time to bond (to be fair, shes doing a better job than I would haveGrin) My neighbour’s think a 15 year old is incapable of teaching a younger child? Is anyone else doing this? Surely, as-long as they’re staying out of trouble and being creative they should be fine?

OP posts:
Mamimawr · 04/05/2020 08:57

I think it's a great idea and will be good for both of them.

seven201 · 04/05/2020 08:57

I think it sounds great. Just make sure you thank and reward the older dd for her contribution.

Pinnacular · 04/05/2020 08:58

I think in the bounds of the current climate and circumstance that this is absolutely fine.

Bluntness100 · 04/05/2020 08:58

I guess you’re in scotland?

Only you know the ability of your elder child, but for a limited period as she is five, I think it’s fine.

Clearly when lock down lifts though the focus should be on what your elder child is going to do with her life, unless that’s already planned?

Original poster
dancemummy7 · 04/05/2020 09:01

Thanks for the advice, think ill stick to our set-up unless anything changes.

Also, thanks for the concern about my eldest’s future, she’s already been accepted to sixth form and they’ve yet to send any work but if/when they do, ill make sure to figure something out so she can be completing her work without interruptions.

OP posts:
stayingaliveisawayoflife · 04/05/2020 09:02

Sounds like it's good for both of them and you! Maybe it might give her an idea of a future career and good experience for babysitting or summer school jobs. When she turns 16 maybe make it more 'formal' with an agreed daily wage. This doesn't need to be minimum wage or anything but will add benefit in her seeing the positives of working for a wage.

Blackbear19 · 04/05/2020 09:02

Sounds like a great arrangement.

What does the 15year old want to do for a living? It sounds like she'd make a fab teacher for primary or nursery kids.

DDiva · 04/05/2020 09:03

Sounds like it suits everyone and some great bonding time for them.

PeskyRooks · 04/05/2020 09:04

What a lovely big sister I think this is great. You must be so proud of her.

Northernsoulgirl45 · 04/05/2020 09:04

Its a great idea. My 15 year old is still having some work set but not a full day so is helping me occasionally with younger two.

ticking · 04/05/2020 09:05

My two are "helping" each other with various things - they are closer in age, but I see it as nice that the older one is revising some of his learning and teaching the younger...

1066vegan · 04/05/2020 09:07

Speaking as both a teacher and a mum, I think it sounds brilliant. Your older daughter is doing something purposeful that she enjoys, your younger daughter is learning in a fun way with a caring big sister , your husband can get the sleep he needs and you can go to work knowing that everyone is safe and happy.

hapagirl · 04/05/2020 09:09

You sound like you have a lovely, conscientious teen. It must be boring for her right now so this will give her something to do and feel good about herself until her 6th form work starts.

Sometimenever100 · 04/05/2020 09:10

I think it’s totally fine as there is another adult in the house in case of an emergency. She sounds like she is doing a wonderful job in these difficult times. You should be very proud of both of them for getting along and making the best of it!

CecilyP · 04/05/2020 09:12

Why wouldn’t a 15 year old be capable of teaching a younger child? She will know so much more than a 5 year old! Sound great- you are lucky to have here . You neighbour sounds daft.

Original poster
dancemummy7 · 04/05/2020 09:13

Im very proud of them both, think I might have to do a surprise trip somewhere once everything clears up to reward them (and myselfGrin)

OP posts:
MaeveDidIt · 04/05/2020 09:16

Fantastic.
Your little one is probably learning so much as they are both enjoying the time and activities together.
I think you should be very proud of her - I know I would be 💐

FreakStar · 04/05/2020 09:17

In England all summer born children leave school at 15. My dd is August born and will be leave school and sit her GCSE's long before she is 16. Most will return to further education of course. There can be a full year age difference between children in the year group.

I think your dd is fully capable of looking after a 5 year old by the sounds of it- she's almost legally old enough to have her own child!

ludicrouslemons · 04/05/2020 09:18

Sounds alright to me. And incidentally the kind of story that your 15yo could use in job/education interviews to make herself stand out.

SomeoneElseEntirelyNow · 04/05/2020 09:19

I seem to be alone in this, but i think that sounds like an awful lot of responsibility to put on a 15yr old every single day of the week. Does she have the option to take a day off? Is she getting enough time to herself? I know we're in exceptional circumstances, but older children do not exist to provide childcare to younger ones, she's still a kid herself and shouldnt have to be doing the job of a parent, even if she's capable of it. The odd day, sure, but 6 hours straight 5 days a week? That's an awful lot of pressure to put on a teen, even if her dad is asleep upstairs.

I know I'm in the minority here, but I'd be concerned by this.

Original poster
dancemummy7 · 04/05/2020 09:23

I think you have the same mindset as my neighbour and I completely understand. If my youngest was any older than 5 i’d be more concerned, however in reception they don’t do a full day of work anyway, so my daughter is only really teaching her one key lesson a day such as maths or phonics, which will only be for around an hour and usually using a video and then the rest of the morning they do something they both enjoy like art or baking.

OP posts:
be47 · 04/05/2020 09:25

It sounds ok given the circumstances, but I would add that when the sixth form your eldest is going to sends out transition work (or indeed her current school as some are doing!) that she has the time and support to do that properly.

And if they don't send anything out, I'd encourage her to google reading lists for the subjects she wants to take so she can read some relevant books/eBooks to prepare - 6 months is a really long time to be doing no work, and as lovely as her bonding time with your youngest is it probably won't make her brain work in quite the same way!

Heismyopendoor · 04/05/2020 09:25

Great idea! Five year old really don’t need much at all, they are so little! What your eldest is doing sounds brilliant!

Lovely for them to have this nice bonding time together too.

My eldest is almost 12, we’ve home educated for a few years now and she can easily help the younger ones do things like counting, read flash cards, etc. So I don’t see a problem with it.

FreakStar · 04/05/2020 09:28

How can looking after a younger sibling for a few hours be too much responsibility for a girl who's 16 next week? A lot of 16 year olds have actual jobs in childcare!

Hoppinggreen · 04/05/2020 09:29

She’s probably doing a better job of it than most parents!
My DD is 15 (Y10) amd has a full school timetable and I’m trying to homeschool my Y6, it’s a long time since I was at school and some of the terms and concepts are very different, especially around Grammar, which we were never formally taught. I often ask her to check work or which method we should use as her education is much more currant than mine!
It sounds like a great idea OP

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