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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Employer making life VERY difficult.

753 replies

Titslikepicassos · 03/05/2020 13:58

Supposed to be returning from MAT leave in June, have childcare arranged and as a key worker they will still take my baby - excellent.

Had a team meeting with work this week to discuss going back and have been told that I have to relocate as my partner works on the same site as me - which has been known since I informed them we were in a relationship, however the policy changed in October (before I went on MAT leave). While we are on the same site, our jobs are separate and we are working in different buildings, have different managers and different hours. The different hours means I will need to do drop offs and pick ups to coincide with opening and closing hours.

So during the middle of a pandemic, with child care mostly closed I now have to find a new nursery, lose a significant term time deposit and start the settling in process all over again. Not only that, they have told me to find my own employment within the company - my head is exploding with all of this. AIBU to think this is an unnecessary ball ache!

I appreciate that this is a minor problem given the amount of people losing jobs!

OP posts:
timeisnotaline · 04/05/2020 00:24

Do NOT extend your leave!!
A simple email subject line ‘tits is returning from Mat leave to at date x (original date) as planned.
Hi john, HR (include them on everything) sam and gofuckyourself,
there seems to be some confusion and despite several requests no one is even able to provide minutes of discussions. In the interests of clarity, here is what I am currently going to do:
-I will be returning from Mat leave at 6 months to my current job of at the originally indicated date of in the same working hours.
-there seems to be confusion about our policy, section x. I’ve read it and spoken to a lawyer and am very confused as to how someone could interpret it as my partner and I must work at different sites, it doesn’t even say we can’t have the same clients. My understanding Is our current job roles meet policy. Happy to take further legal advice on this if you have a legal interpretation this isn’t the case.
-also, even if there were a legal interpretation that my partner and I can’t work on the same site the policy certainly doesn’t say the female half of the couple must move. Our interpretation is my role is protected by maternity rights so really in this case my partner must be moved. Happy to arrange meeting with a legal representative.

Given the challenge on minute taking I would like further discussion by email or recorded, it is unfair that in my last few weeks of Mat leave I have to chase some notes continually.

I look forward to being back! (Bright and bubbly fuck you!)

Tits.

Please send and call a lawyer ASAP. So glad your mil can pay.

Getlostu · 04/05/2020 00:27

I don’t think they can do this. Your rights are protected due to maternity? Contact ACAS or an employment solicitor for proper advice

StealthMama · 04/05/2020 08:33

Surely they can just say it’s due to policy I’m being moved and nothing to do with my role not being there anymore?!

No they can't, as they have to then state why the policy is being applied to you and not dp. They also need to make the policy unambiguous.

Your manager wants your temp cover in your job. Your manager is a liability.

Outline to them that having sought advice you wish to return to your current role. Outline your interpretation if the policy and thus how you don't believe their is a policy breach, and ask HR to confirm whether your interpretation is correct or not.

If there is ambiguity then they can't apply the policy in an unfair way.

LaurieFairyCake · 04/05/2020 09:06

Bloody hell Shock

Hope you get this sorted, they are arseholes

Original poster
Titslikepicassos · 04/05/2020 09:18

As the meeting was only at the end of last week and I’ve requested meeting minutes twice now, when and how do I request a third time?

I’m really doubting myself this morning and not sure if I can face a fight - it’s not like everything isn’t really shitty as it is at the moment ffs.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 04/05/2020 09:34

I would email HR copying in whoever you have asked the minutes from. Raise what they are saying against the law and quote it and also put in that you still await minutes of the meeting.

You could also ask HR what is the purpose and the intent of the policy. You can state about it being ambiguous and that yours and DPs roles are carried out as different functions in different buildings and is the policy even in place for these kind of circumstances.

I would also include that you are finding this very stressful and you don't understand why this was not raised prior to Mat Leave and your understanding of the law is if one of how has to move it will need to be DP as your right to return is protected in law.

In fact I would be tempted to just email HR and. Follow up with a phone call.

Sparkletastic · 04/05/2020 09:58

Time's email is absolutely spot on in both tone and content. Send that. Making clear recorded statement as to your reasonable intentions and expectations is essential in evidencing your case.

Original poster
Titslikepicassos · 04/05/2020 10:01

Thanks both

OP posts:
Ariela · 04/05/2020 11:04

Stick to your guns on this - at a guess I'd suggest shitty manager and crony hogging your job have NOT authorised this through HR.

Make sure that HR are cc'd in your letter stating you are returning to your role. I'd RING HR and be sure somebody there is aware of this. Might be the emails are stacking up...

BakedCam · 04/05/2020 11:07

Good luck, OP. Pleased to see you going through the policy, and all the excellent advice from MNetters.

Can't add anything to the advice given, but dont extend your mat leave. Stand by your rights abx thel will stand by you.

RandomMess · 04/05/2020 11:07

I absolutely agree about following up with a phone call to HR and I would include the stress this is causing seeing as though you have been given no reason by HR as to why your legal entitlement to return to YOUR job is not applicable.

VeniceQueen2004 · 04/05/2020 11:15

If they say you have to move, they have to at very least tell you where you can go. They can't possibly expect you to find your own role, you have a role. They need to find you an equivalent role.

I'm amazed any workplace can operate like this and I'm dying of curiosity to know what it is!!

I'm also astonished they won't have couples work for them. So many people meet their OHs at work! I work in the same dept as my DP (different teams, different mgrs). Lots of other couples within the department and the organisation as a whole. Trying to police that is a bit stasi surely??

CorianderLord · 04/05/2020 11:24

This sounds SUPER illegal to me

Original poster
Titslikepicassos · 04/05/2020 11:28

I’m emailing HR now and will follow up with a phone call - also waiting for a call back from an employment solicitor.

I think they are trying to get me to agree to move without involving HR, they have form for blindsiding me, so if I agree happily HR don’t need to look too closely IYSWIM.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 04/05/2020 11:42

This is absolutely why you should involve HR.

Original poster
Titslikepicassos · 04/05/2020 13:45

Had the stock response back from HR, they’ll look into it and get back to me

OP posts:
ButteryPuffin · 04/05/2020 13:50

I would reply to say that unless you have a clear explanation of anything different, you will continue to prepare to return to your previous role after your 6 months' leave in accordance with the law.

PearPickingPorky · 04/05/2020 14:04

I’m really doubting myself this morning and not sure if I can face a fight

Thats what they are relying on. That's why so many companies get away with shafting women when they are pregnant and on mat leave, because it's just so damn difficult to fight.

LittleMissTeacup · 04/05/2020 14:29

Glad to hear you’ve emailed HR and love @timeisnotaline response - it is perfect.

It sounds to me like you’re being pushed out and this is disgraceful to happen to someone returning from mat leave in this day and age.

I’m rooting for you OP.

ilikefastcars · 04/05/2020 14:33

Pretty sure your job should be protected if you're returning at 6 months.
Do not extend your leave, take legal advice immediately!

PaulHollywoodsSexGut · 04/05/2020 14:49

I’m following this but Time’s email is spot on.

Its tone also insinuates to the reader YOU are in control here, not them. And that YOU will decide what site you work from not them.

Keep that in mind x

Amammi · 04/05/2020 14:54

Sorry to hear you are having these difficulties - it’s awful that this is being done to you at a time when you are trying to prepare for a big life shift by returning to the work place.
I’m not a very tough person and hate conflict so I relate to your reluctance to make waves. Just think of it this way - if you stand your ground and it goes against you for some reason you are no worse off - you just end up doing a move which is what they wanted but if you win this is so much better for you and your family. Work is work. We are in there for the income for our families. who cares if by doing this you are seen as a bit difficult - you are just showing them as a manager that you can manage yourself and are no push over. So what if they make life a bit difficult when you go back - they will like all bullies move onto an easier target once this is over. Hang in and prepare yourself for a fight. It will be worth it.

Original poster
Titslikepicassos · 04/05/2020 15:14

He’s just had his meeting, told again that we need to source our own roles and let them know, then the company will decide. Also told that they didn’t tell me sooner as they didn’t want to stress me out.

Solicitors called during the meeting so about to call back

OP posts:
Original poster
Titslikepicassos · 04/05/2020 15:16

Oh and I’m feeling much more confident to take them on after over hearing the meeting - they think we’re stupid

OP posts:
LaraLoui · 04/05/2020 15:39

Good luck OP! Fight this all the way 👊