To be feel quite happy at home during lockdown

[caperberries]

Inspired by a survey, which suggested that most people feel closer to their families, less likely to split up from their partner and happier under lockdown.

Do you agree? In some ways, I really feel much happier under lockdown - I am spending more time with my family and rushing about far less without the school runs etc. It feels like a slightly more relaxed pace of life. Admittedly, our work situations are not difficult, which would make a big difference. Fifty percent of people in the survey I saw weren't currently working at all. AIBU to quite enjoy lockdown?

I do think part of the issue is the really stressful lives some people have
Lots of posts about 2 hour commutes etc
I took a big step back career wise to work in a less stressful job closer to home when I had my kids
Not always easy/possible
I think a lot of people will try and make some lifestyle changes

I'm a homebird & I love being at home. I don't feel at all trapped & I have to remind myself to go out for fresh air . I can always find something to do & I have to write a list of people to contact or I just wouldn't do it. I like my job but I love my home. I moved in Jan, just in time and I no longer house share which I found a huge burden on me, mentally. That's been my salvation- I don't mind the alone time as I'm still savouring having the space.

The flipside to my downtime is that when I do go out, I really enjoy that & I miss it! What I do miss is getting dressed up (I'm vain and a real dresser-upper) and actually going out socially. Actual human contact with people not hours on zoom. I had a lot of fun, glamorous things with lovely people on my calendar this month. Crossing 90% of my May calendar reminders off was pretty upsetting.

Workwise, probably should go back sooner before it gets harder- but I have an early June birthday- a big one, and I'd quite like to be off for it. We have a big work event spanning late June-all of July which in my opinion would be madness to proceed with but they keep delaying a final decision ... I will be angry if they run it.

Who would pay? Universal income has been debated before. I have a feeling that post-covid it might be debated again. (We will need people to take risks, start businesses, work any hours they can without the effect on benefits income)

There would be cost savings: the admin surrounding the hugely complicated (and demeaning) benefit system, means testing etc; Savings due to better health would likely follow as deprivation likely to improve.

The same question was asked about the NHS and pensions, "Family Allowance" (aka Child Benefit) and free education.

The movement against free healthcare is still very strong in some countries but we rarely question it here now. Education 5-18 is free and many even want to stop people from paying for schooling at all- although quite the opposite is the case for university.

It is a discussion to be had. (Another thread)

I have had quite serious mental health problems for years and they have been almost entirely alleviated during lockdown.

I haven’t had to go to my awful job. I haven’t had to pay to commute and the government has increased benefits during the lockdown period so I am financially better off. There’s been a massive reduction in crime and antisocial behaviour so I feel much safer. I have been able to spend more time with my family. There are far fewer cars on the road, massively reducing air pollution so my physical health is better.

It’s just been brilliant really. Of course it doesn’t make up for the horror of Coronavirus itself and the risk to the vulnerable.

But it has been quite eye opening for me in terms of all the ‘go out and socialise more if you want to be mentally well’ advice.

NameofChanges I'm glad that it's helped you but I also have a lot of mental health issues and not being able to get out as I wish is making them far worse. I'm terrified that I'm going to find myself unable to leave my home without a "safe person" to accompany me as was the case for two years, and even then I struggled. For the majority of people I'd say that staying indoors constantly(You don't have to go out every day) is far from healthy and getting out relatively regularly is beneficial.

I’m aware that it is bad for some people’s mental health. Mumsnet is full of posts with people saying they are suffering under lockdown.

Unless you’re shielding, you are still allowed out of the house everyday.

After the lockdown the vast majority of people, including me, will have to go to work or school, so do go out regularly.

I think if you’ve got kids under about 10 it’s hard (I’ve got one over, one under so that’s why I made that distinction).

Aside from massively awful things like loss of life, complete loss of income, huge rise in domestic violence etc - and that’s an enormous apart from - I think it can be nice if everyone in the house is able to “chill” and allow others to chill. Small children aren’t going to find it “nicer” unless perhaps they live on a massive estate in Norfolk (say) and neither are their parents.

And it must be hard for elderly people living alone.

I’m enjoying having less stress in life. Everything is much less pressured and hectic. I hated all the time I spent in the car and the traffic. I love having more time with my kids. However dh has had his hours cut so we have lost money there and I have a second job, basically zero hours contract, where I’ve lost all income. Grateful to still be able to pay the bills, and be in good health.

I do think it’s dependent on work situation what’s yours OP?

DH & I are both WFH, I usually WFH part of the week anyway, so my situation hasn't changed that much - the big difference is having the family at home with me & no school runs. DH usually travels a lot with work & gets very tired, so it's been a nice break for him. Hopefully, some of his unnecessary foreign business travel will stop now - I'm sure companies are slowly realising the benefits of the remote model.

I think another important factor is that my dc are older, late primary/prep and senior school, not toddlers needing constant attention.

Unless you’re shielding, you are still allowed out of the house everyday

Yes, but I can't relax when I do, for fear of overzealous police and nosy neighbours. I'm autistic and the changes to everything might be necessary but they're extremely unsettling for me to say the least. I'm a bundle of nerves before I even enter a store and when I'm in one I can't relax.Also I can't go into places like cafes and shops that keep me semi-sane and stop me from regaining my fullblown phobia of being in public places.

But that’s specific to you. It’s totally different to the point you’re making that it’s not mentally healthy to stay in the house.

Nobody has actually said that most people should not leave the house.

Day to day I'm fine. Very lucky in that DH has been furloughed on full pay and I work in a school so we are secure. DH is throwing himself into sorting and decorating the house. I'm managing OK with the home schooling as I'm a teacher. DCs are happy enough pottering around, having lots of screen time and playing with their toys.

I’ve enjoyed it so much I’m seriously thinking of spending more holidays at home after the lockdown ends.
It’s made me appreciate my home more, and don’t spend much leisure time there.
It will be nice when those of us who enjoy it can do it through choice and those who are struggling don’t have to.

Day to day is nice with us as well. Kids are happy and we have loads of outdoor space.

Longer term, I struggle with not having anything to look forward to.. holidays, nice meals, meet ups. Not having any outside interactions has become really old quick. I feel really insulated. I miss face to face conversations and my parents.

I think also we are appreciating our home a lot more. Taking time to declutter, spring clean, decorate and choose new curtains etc. Making it a cosy haven.

We're playing board games together, doing simple things like colouring. Plenty of screen time too of course!

Sometimes we get on top of each other and there are moments of boredom, frustration, sadness. But we're OK.

So envious of those enjoying it. It's a nightmare for me. Single parent "bloody keyworker" working full time. Usual childcare shielding. DC hated going to school as she didn't know a single child. Having to get childcare from someone I would never in a million yrs use for childcare so worrying all day, everyday at work. I can't wait for this to be over.

Im enjoying it, less time pressure, school runs, appts, clubs etc so less demands on my time, less juggling. Still working 30 hours at week from home so still have that structure and not oodles of extra free time. Have video call contact with colleagues and friends, I like having all my family home with me and am enjoying a more relaxed pace of life.

I’m happy as a pig in shit

I have a chronic illness and tire really easily. Am now finding the time and energy I need to actually look after myself properly rather than just get through the day. I’m exercising, eating better and not worn down by the daily grind. You know, work, shop, cook, clean, bed. Just need a lotto win and then I can sustain this long-term!

Yes, obviously people with incredibly privileged and fortunate lives (partner/children, safe home, income protection, garden) are happy! I’m sure those people are much happier than those of us with shitty lives under any circumstances.

I am because I have rheumatoid arthritis. Too often I have to push through the pain to go to work and suffer the agony afterwards. I have been bedridden for two weeks of this lockdown, but am still happier than having to pump myself full of codeine and other painkillers to get on the train

I love working at home full time. I have to pretend at team meetings I'm missing everyone .

‘Yes, obviously people with incredibly privileged and fortunate lives (partner/children, safe home, income protection, garden) are happy! I’m sure those people are much happier than those of us with shitty lives under any circumstances.’

Can you explain what you mean by this? If you need income protection other than universal credit you are one of the privileged people. The poorest in society, including the working poor, are better off currently because benefits have increased.

By income protection I mean people who are furloughed or able to work from home or otherwise have circumstances that guarantee (at least in the short term) that their income is not at risk.

I currently have almost zero income, am not eligible for most benefits, and am in the process of applying for PIP which will probably be turned down since I can’t access medical care.

It’s simply not true that all benefits have increased. Certain benefits have. Disability benefits which are for the most vulnerable have not increased. Disabled people are worse off, not better.

@MrSheenandMe

What kind of response? What can you do regarding people sitting in their own home that they bought, decorated, maintained? Their garden that they look after? Their children who are healthy and active because they have a good diet that the parents prioritise?

Why does there have to be a response?

There always has to be a response. Look at recent and not so recent history. Progress is often in response to change or disaster or real or perceived inequality.

Maybe increased tax on property - that could be voted in in future elections as some may resent others sitting at home in their lovely homes (paid) while they struggle. Maybe strikes, changes in working practices or new legislation surrounding low pay or zero hours. Maybe civil unrest? It is fairly unpredictable.

Obviously I hope only good changes will follow.