To be feel quite happy at home during lockdown

[caperberries]

Inspired by a survey, which suggested that most people feel closer to their families, less likely to split up from their partner and happier under lockdown.

Do you agree? In some ways, I really feel much happier under lockdown - I am spending more time with my family and rushing about far less without the school runs etc. It feels like a slightly more relaxed pace of life. Admittedly, our work situations are not difficult, which would make a big difference. Fifty percent of people in the survey I saw weren't currently working at all. AIBU to quite enjoy lockdown?

No its shit. We're both trying to work and entertain/teach a nearly 4 year old who is missing her friends a lot and her proper learning structure from nursery. We're lucky we have a big garden and lots of fields around us, but nothing will stop her wanting her friends and her grandparents.

No. Its fucking awful in our house. Me and 6do both key workers. I have been called back from mat leave early so juggling childcare of 1yo ds between us. We havent had a day off together in 3 weeks now and are juggling days and nights between us with no childcare. Our wedding was cancelled and it looks like the venue will go bust and we will lose the money. Our relationship is under immense strain and we have discussed ending things on more than one occasion.
I'm really pleased that some people are enjoying this time but this is the hardest thing that some of us have ever been through

It's been really good for my MH. I feel a lot more relaxed and peaceful not having to rush everywhere all the time.

But I can only enjoy it because a) DH is still working and therefore supporting me while my business is closed, and b) other people are going to work and working damn hard to keep everything going.

It's swings and roundabouts, isn't it. You're only enjoying the time you have because other people don't have any of that time.

Dp*

No, I want my life back.

I’m getting through it but I’m definitely not happier in lockdown. In a small flat with a toddler, I just want to go to the park or my mums or even round Ikea for an hour!

This is true. MrSheenAndMe but would the people going through hell be any safer if we all went out there and got infected and spread our germs around? Would businesses be any safer if half the work force died? Would any of us be safer if a majority of NHS staff died?

Of course we have to get out of it, but we have to have a plan to do so, and the government's current measures (sending out tests to people who are not trained in taking them) are half-arsed and unsafe. We need a better plan, based on expertise and learning from other, more successful countries around the world.

It is also worth remembering that some people are feeling better in lockdown because their lives were a bit shitty before. Dh for several years had a daily 6 hour commute for a not very well-paid job; even the 4 hour commute just before lockdown was affecting his health badly. I am upset about losing my job, worried about money and frightened about my pension after many years of precarity, but I can manage that better than the fear of losing my husband.

YANBU to enjoy it yourself. But lots of people are very stressed, lonely, under a lot of pressure. I’ve not had adult company for 6 weeks - I never thought I would have found it this hard but some days are very difficult.

Agree with previous posters it's entirely dependent on your situation. I'm totally ok at the weekends when I can give my kids my full attention but in the week when I'm trying to homeschool an 8 year old, occupy a 3 year while also working full time from home means I feel like at failure at everything, sleep very little and struggle with sky high anxiety levels as a result! Whereas if I worked part time think it would be great.

Can you link to the survey OP?

I think it's probably unreasonable to say you "enjoy" lockdown but it is never unreasonable to appreciate what you have - if you are getting up later, spending more time with children, baking more, talking to some friends and family more.
It's always right to appreciate what we have, even in the midst of such a difficult time.

We have a nice house, a lovely park and wood within walking distance and fincially jobs are safe - I know we are the lucky ones.

I'm still finding it harder and harder as the weeks go on and that seems to be the common theme with friends too. I have 2 young DC so DH and I both trying to work means we are doing shifts and barely seeing each other. Kids are having meltdowns. I work NHS frontline and that is strange and hard to work in at the moment. My house is a complete tip as trying to keep up with it all us hard work.

corythatwas - Absolutely - I agree with what you say. And of course your family is the most important thing. And we had to have lockdown). It is not completely black and white although the internet tends to polarise the (my!) expression of opinion.

Re getting out of this: we need to take the positives - for some people better mental health, more time outside, less stuff, more family time - whatever they are - and change our lives to incorporate them. (Maybe long commutes and frantic scheduling etc could be done away with for example).

BUT we have to make sure that is available to all. (Universal basic income to go alongside our universal basic education and healthcare would get my vote for a start).

And yes you are right that for some people life was a bit shitty before and lockdown has given them a taste of something better. That is a good thing.

Lots of people are enjoying it. Plenty hate their work, their commute so being able to work from home, avoid the school run, avoid the commute, or even be paid to do nothing is fantastic for them. A large percentage of those folks are screaming for lock down to be continued so they can continue in this position they are enjoying.

I think as humans we can be very resilient, we adapt and find positives in every situation. Not everyone of course.

So yes, of course there are positives to be found. I'm saving shitloads of money, dh is landscaping the garden and has got loads done, I've been painting my kitchen and have treated myself to some new bits with all the money I've saved, having time with the dc has been lovely (up to a point). We haven't had relatives pestering us every 5 minutes to visit, which in turn means we've got loads done.

But let's be realistic here. I don't wish for anyone to be miserable in lockdown. But this is an utterly shit situation.

Most of the positives are to the detriment of other humans. The NHS workers and carers, the people whose jobs are at risk, he people who are lonely and struggling with their mental health. The children missing out on their education and even worse those now stuck in abusive homes.

So if when all this is over, you can still choose to lock yourself away, you can choose to home school, you can choose to drop all the extra curricular activities. But let's not wish for this to go on any longer than necessary.

Excatly who would pay for all this universal income?

So if when all this is over, you can still choose to lock yourself away, you can choose to home school, you can choose to drop all the extra curricular activities. But let's not wish for this to go on any longer than necessary.”

Well said.

I am happy in that I have no work stress, no commute, no pretending to like my job or my colleagues. I feel better in myself, I'm sleeping so much better - and how I used to survive on the little I was getting I don't know.
There are some concerns, my business is dead and it'll be a long time before I'm allowed to do that again. Furloughed from my day job so I've lost a massive amount of income and having just moved house it's really tight. I don't know if I'll have a job to go back to, I have seriously ill family members I'd love to see, miss my friends etc. I count myself to be one of the luckier ones though

I'm enjoying not putting a full face of make up on each day, and I have spent zero on clothes. This is not making me want an extended lock down, but it's making me reevaluate how I lived pre-lock down.

Lots of people are enjoying it. Plenty hate their work, their commute so being able to work from home, avoid the school run, avoid the commute, or even be paid to do nothing is fantastic for them. A large percentage of those folks are screaming for lock down to be continued so they can continue in this position they are enjoying.

Totally agree. As I said I don't wish for anyone to be miserable. But every time I see someone screaming for stricter lockdown, or screaming to keep the schools closed. All I can think is "home school if YOU choose to, but ffs don't wish for this to be inflicted on the rest of us".

I don't believe it's truly about keeping safe. They're enjoying a break from their miserable lives.

A lot of the things I like to do involve being with other people outside my household, so I am getting bored and frustrated with that. However, as a family it is working well. My children have learned more in the last 6 weeks than in the rest of the school year put together! I am a trained teacher (but not employed as a teacher), and it has been really eye opening. My ds, who is 8, has gone from hating maths and not able to concentrate for more than 10 minutes, to getting real joy from learning and asking for more. Some one-to-one time has made the world of difference.

I think we all must have 'lockdown syndrome '...like Stockholm syndrome, where you fall in love with and idealise your captor to make life more bearable. There was an article in the Times about it

On the one hand I can wfh and I am not missing the 1hour commute one little bit. We live in the country so can get out to walk with the dogs. DH and I have a really strong marriage which helps immensely. On the other hand we have son and girlfriend staying with us (son is in vulnerable group due to Type 1 diabetes and asthma) and we had got used to an empty nest. Resenting that somewhat and also have ongoing neighbour dispute (not of our making) with the worst type of ‘get off my laaand’ farmer. So a mixed bag, but can feel for those trapped in violent relationships, or whose jobs have gone, or who can’t get out.

I don't think people CAN choose to drop
their extra curricular activities or wrap around childcare

Those 'options' are there so people can work and commute - the second life goes back to normal a lot of people on this thread have no choice but to get on the busy merry go round.

One of the reasons we're having such a great time is DH is a teacher in a London comp and half his stress is managing behaviour down the local shops, engaging with the police and truanting - and visiting children all over South London at home and being threatened by the kids/parents. No wonder he's having a much better time teaching them online and only going in a couple of times a week. His normal life is bloody awful.

It's ok on a day to day basis
We all get on well and nice for a bit to have lots of time together
Don't really watch TV, ibut love reading and get through lots of books
But I can't wait to get back to normal
Missing Parents,siblings Nieces Nephews
Missing friends
Missing nights out
And need to get my business back up and running 🤞