To think that being a good mother/enjoying motherhood isn't "cool"?

[phoebemakesnoise]

Hi everyone. I have 2 children, 5 and 1 years old and I've noticed, on social media especially that there is an almost competitiveness over who can be the worst mum. I'm not talking beating your kids, or anything serious like that, but who cooked the most unhealthy dinner, who gave their kid the iPad for longest so they could drink gin (why does everyone suddenly drink gin?), referring to them as "little arseholes", etc. I am in no way claiming to be a perfect parent, but I don't understand this. Honestly, these are things I used to do when I was severely depressed and I felt quite ashamed about it but it seems like some are almost bragging. I should add, I noticed this way before lockdown happened and don't think it is related.

I like it. After a hard day, where I’ve been a less that perfect mum, I get to see those posts and think at least I’m not as bad as that...I want to be the ‘positive parent’, Montessori, child-led, my-own-emotions-don’t-matter-it’s all-about-child bitch but I just can’t manage it. I prefer to see mothers sip their gin than the smug pictures of perfectly decorated play rooms.

I quite like it, it's tongue in cheek and funny, in my group chat with my mum and sister I'll say that DS is being a little Richard, it's no harm done, he's 5 months old and going through a pain in the arse phase leap. I don't post it on social media though and I can do that while still being immensely proud of him and loving him to bits. I mean I cried a bit looking at him today because he's so cute it hurts but that doesn't mean when he's spitting his bottle out, then deciding he is hungry, no wait maybe he just needs a nap (all the while making a noise that sounds like a baby dinosaur at top volume) that he isn't being a bit of a Richard.

I hear someone talk about their own kids like this it makes me extra vigilant for possible signs of abuse.

Oh come on!!!!! This isn't real is it?? Surely?? I really hope not.

I've used some choice words to describe my DD at times, but in private to either my husband or my closest closest friends and she will NEVER hear me say them out loud. I know I'm lucky to have her she's amazing but some days are hard and I'm not going to lie to myself about that and I'm most certainly not going to lie to another potentially struggling mum's either. Everyone's mental health - particularly post natally would be much better if mum's felt strong enough to admit they have bad days

And yes @amazedmummy 🙌 you can be immensely proud and completely in love with your children, whilst still be able to admit that they're little Richards. It doesn't need to be one or the other.

Oh God, where I am you're expected to work full time, pull in 6 figures, be a size 8 and still micromanage your child to within an inch of their lives, all while having perfect nails, not braking a sweat and wearing Hermès. My baby is 11 months old and we're already discussing which schools they should go to, and whether to go Montessori or Reggio Emilia approach.

I'm tired.

@minettechatouette I call my son devil child to people I know if I've had a bad day with him. I'm not abusive at all and I really do adore him but I'm only human.
So when he's non stop crying all day I think I'm allowed to vent that he's baby satan to a bunch of adults that know me because being a parent is hard.
Obviously he doesn't get called it to his face and my nicknames aimed at him are incredibly baby cringe.

People really need to remember kids aren't perfect and are still human and all humans behave like arseholes at points so it's basically admitting you're child is a normal human.
Bit insulting you think I'm abusive for calling my child a little shit to my husband.

It's just social media innit. As pp's have said, the people posting this don't actually live like that. Just as the ones where it's all making memories don't live like that either. Both are exaggerations and considered presentations for an audience and both are potentially annoying/encouraging in their respective ways, depending on how you feel.

Well sometimes kids are little fuckers, some of you are clearly in denial that your kids are also sometimes utter shit bags.
You'd probably call them spirited, they're little fuckers!
I don't post it all over social media in general, just like I don't post about when my dp has been a knob. But I sure as hell call my best friend and tell her he's been a knob, and the kids have been shit bags.

Oh for gods sake it's just people having a laugh!

@allfurcoatnoknickers tell them you're adopting the no rules parenting approach and don't place any importance on education and see how many of them pass out 😂

It's just social media. It's all bolocks and it's entirely your choice to read it or ignore it. I find rather too much of the #blessed #makingmemories brigade on mine rather than the slummy mummies. Just block/mute or step away.

Most people I know are a healthy mixture between “whoops, fucked up today” and “loving life, little Gwendolyn is a wonder”.
Maybe you just need more normal friends?