Foodbank usage

[Mrskeats]

Hard hat on.
First of all I regularly give to food banks; especially now when there is so much need.
Aibu to think that if you have about £2500 per month and very few bills for this one adult and one child you don't need to be using one? House bought outright also.
This is someone that know well. Very surprised they feel entitled to use them.

I'm guessing as you know so much it's either a family member or a very very close friend.

Have they not told you why they are using it, it seems from your OP that they've said they are using it but did they not specify why?

To be honest if they've told you and you weren't sure why wouldn't you ask or at least phrase it as are you ok, do you need any help? - as you say you donate so if they were struggling you could redirect to them.

I find it very strange that they would mention it to you but you wouldn't question why if you knew they had no real outgoings and large income?

They just said they felt entitled to use it.
No partner so not abuse etc.

@Mrskeats but if someone said that to me I'd offer help and ask why etc.

Can you not broach the subject from a I'm worried and want to help point of view

I did question it. As I've said.

To be honest I'd push it and ask why they feel they are entitled to use it. There must be a reason they feel like that rather than just I fancy it today. As other people have said if you truly didn't have to do it then why would you restrict yourself like that.

Perhaps we should elect the most worthy recipients each time we drop off our donations.
Or we could write on our tin of beans:
“Not for no. 18 - she had a brand new sofa 4 years ago!!”

@RippleEffects I’ve rarely read a more sensible and sensitive list on here. Completely agree.

If you’re concerned that ‘deserving’ people are going without because chancers are taking food parcels they’re not entitled to, that should make you more willing to give to the food bank charities, not less. If you actually care about the poor going without, that is.

Thank God we've got people like you monitoring it since the Government is apparently giving it to anyone that asks.

They're like that, the Government. Making it easy for everyone to get things that cost money that they're not entitled to. They LOVE it.

I bet there was Ferrero Rocher in that food parcel too.

I'm going to ask for one, so should you OP since it's available to all..

I don't think going to a foodbank is nice for anyone, there may be the odd tight person who goes but for 99% who do go, they are at their lowest points. Unfortunately you also get people who prioritize other things over food for the family but i would say most who go need it and are on tough times. We never know peoples full stories

Or we could write on our tin of beans:
“Not for no. 18 - she had a brand new sofa 4 years ago!!”

This made me laugh.

There must be a reason she’s had to use a food bank if you need a referral. If there isn’t and she’s told lies to get a referral, well we’ll never know. But yes in that case she’d be very cheeky.

I also don’t know why anyone would go to a food bank unless they were desperate. It’s a really humiliating experience so if she’s got £2500 in the bank she’d be a bit odd to go to a foodbank and act like she’s having a trip to the supermarket. It’s not fun at all.

Is it possible that the food is provided because she's shielding/can't get to the shops?
Or possibly: Is it a food pantry set up by a school and they offer it to everyone in order to avoid stigma and make sure it reaches everyone who needs it.
Dds nursery has one like that and I've had to be really explicit on a few occasions that we have plenty of food, are fairly well off and can get to the shops just fine.
Even then they have absolutely insisted that "It will go to waste if you don't take it"
I've ended up accepting it a couple of times and sharing it out amongst the neighbours.

I know a family like this. They use them on a regular basis and take photos of them getting their big food package. Then for the next couple of weeks you see all the pictures of them dining out in restaurants every day, buying new bikes and electronics etc then when they are all spent out they go back to the food bank. I had to delete my FB account because I couldn't stop looking at what they had brought themselves that day and feeling frustrated when I knew they would go back to the food bank.

I was once told when I was on benefits and they didn't pay me that I could be referred to a food bank - so I don't know how they get referred so often.

It did make me stop donating food for a while but I have to remember for every 1 that takes the piss there are 100 others that genuinely need it.

@Poppi89

You think a basic food bank package of pasta, beans etc is enabling them to eat out regularly in restaurants and buy bikes?

Really?

I think most people don't understand what is given in a foodbank package.

I really hope this post doesn't put anybody off donating

This is my fear too. I wish people would think twice before trying to whip others up in to some sort of a moral frenzy. Lckily common sense has prevailed on this thread so I hope that the OP has learnt something.

Poppi your post is ridiculous.

Badoukas posted:

"The church foodbank near me doesnt require a referral and you can go a few times before questions are asked. If people go to foodbanks without being in genuine need, that is plainly wrong. I suppose it must happen because some people cannot resist the idea of something for nothing, even if it leaves others going hungry. Selfish and immoral."

@Badoukas I agree, there are some people around who will grab anything going, even if it leaves others going without.

OP, you've been given a hard time for questioning the motives of someone who seems to be using a foodbank when she may not have a real need of it. YANBU to feel that it's wrong to take advantage of food banks unless you really need to use them, but there may be more to it than this person has shared with you. Or perhaps she's a shameless person, grabbing free food so that she can save her money to buy luxury items she doesn't need. Perhaps you don't know all the facts but either way, you don't deserve abuse.

@ducksback

Exactly. The content of a foodbank offering is probably less than £20 cost in a supermarket. It's to cover 3 days and is based on non-branded packaged and tinned food.

Why would people earning £2,500 want some tinned carrots and lentils?

Let alone the idea that some people are using food banks to stock up on non-brand tinned tomatoes while eating out at restaurants every day and buying electronics and bikes with the savings

@Spaghetti123 @ducksback

you misunderstand - they recieve plenty of money but as soon as they're paid they waste it on eating out at restaurants almost every night until they run out of money and big buys - so they have no money left so are able to use the foodbanks nearly every month. Then they get paid again and waste their money so they are left having to use the food bank again.

If you saw their FB posts you would think it was a joke. I don't want to give it away too much but one restaurant offers a meal which consists of 4 separate meals - they have one each saying it is a challenge and end up not eating it all and then the next day put up a post saying how skint they are can anyone lend them money and then put up a photo of them with the food package that they've been forced to get as they're so poor!

If it was a one-off you would think nothing of it but it is a regular occurrence.

@poppi89.

Oh, they're THOSE people on benefits that can afford to eat out at restaurants every day, buy bikes and electronics and then go to a foodbank when they've spent all their massive amounts of cash.

They're everywhere.

@Spaghetti123 - I wouldn't say they're everywhere as I said I was on benefits myself and would barely be able to eat out once every couple of months let alone almost every night!
You would be surprised how little benefit money you get - people think it is a lot but it is barely enough to cover essential bills let alone luxuries.

OP did you ask them why they prefer the often less healthy, boring, and processed food that's more likely with food banks? I suspect it's a mental health issue, if as you say there's genuinely no financial need. Few people would choose the humiliation and lack of fresh food and choice unless they had no other option.

I agree it is taking off those in need unless they have a valid reason
Most families have lot less than £2500 coming in and wouldn't be able to use a food bank
Even if its debts you would surely reduce them or enter an agreement like many have to
Food banks are for people who need them and some are struggling to have enough
But there could be a genuine reason like maybe they haven't been paid this month due situation ?