How old were you when your clock started ticking?

[catsonmysocks]

I am 30 next year, and in the last year I have felt more and more aware of my bio clock. Up until this point I've felt I have all the time in the world, assumed all okay health wise and concentrated on other things - buying a house, work, saving etc etc.

I now look around me and many people my age already have children - some even say they're done having them now. And then there are those around 10 years younger than me having children. I don't feel or think I look young anymore, and worry about how much longer I can wait. It feels like my generation has moved forward on to the next stage in life whereas i am stuck where I am.

I know women have children in their 40s, but I think it's a big risk to wait until then and assume all will be ok because I may not even be fertile by that point. But I don't think I will ever be ready financially, Job wise etc etc. I just feel time is running out I suppose

Please can someone tell me I'm being ridiculous?

26. Had first at 27, second at 30. Now nearly 33 and think I’m done smile

...and then at 39 you get the final bell which is worse than when the clock starts ticking!

You're not crazy, you are right. I know several women in their forties who are struggling to conceive.

You will never be ready financially, we thought we were and had saved but to be honest it all went on costs related to child no. 1, we hadn't really thought about subsequent children and the drop in income and didn't want to spend years saving between them. So as long as you have a stable home, a stable job and a happy relationship you are ready.

If you really want children please don't wait too long and end up regretting it. At 30 you have time but.you don't have loads of time, that's my message.

28

33 - it was a sudden, unexpected and extremely intense desire

Mine ticked for a while in my early 20s. I was at uni and definitely not ready to have a baby, but several close friends and a similar age cousin had kids and I was very broody.

I had DD when I was 29 and am now pregnant again at 33. I didn't feel any ticking clock. DH and I both just felt like we wanted kids and it was about the right time.

It’s a pervasive cultural myth born out of gendered socialisation, gendered expectations and a general backlash against women choosing to delay or opt out of parenthood, rather than a biological reality.

It was invented as a concept in the 70s in an article called ‘The Clock is Ticking for the Career Woman’. Not surprisingly, it coincided with feminism, the pill, legal abortions and women making strides in the workplace. The ‘biological clock’ isn’t a neutral description of something that happens in the female body, it’s a loaded, misogynistic metaphor aimed at pushing women back into traditional roles via scaremongering on the basis of dubious data.

OP, I get that you’re anxious, but it sounds to me as if you’re panicking yourself by looking around you at people who had children very young. I hardly know anyone who had a (planned) child before their mid-30s. I had my child at 39.

Also, you don’t say in your OP whether you actually really want a child, or whether it’s primarily panic at being left behind, or discovering in ten years you’ve left it too late...?

27/28. It felt overwhelming. I had my first baby 10 months ago at 29. I’ll be 30 this month and hoping to have a second in a couple of years if we’re lucky enough

@HolyWells

Excellent post

I didn't want children until I got to 30, then realised that I didnt not want a child

33. I was with a new partner who seemed to be much better father potential than my ex, who never even made me aware I had a clock.

28, always new I wanted marriage and kids but at 28 thought crap I'd better get cracking!
Met him later that year, married at 29, 1st at 31 2nd at 33. Still all good at 45.

Your age I still lived at home with parents, had a good job but single...

Met dh, moved in together, married and had a dc in the 8 years since.

I’m not sure mine did, I just kind of knew I wanted kids and the ended up pregnant unexpectedly just before my 29th birthday. That being said having a toddler now means I’m massively broody for another at 30, but I’m a lone parent so I guess the same feelings about finding someone, getting married and having babies have now kicked in at 30 for me (there’s just no chance whilst I’m still drowning in work and raising a toddler alone).

The biological clock is a real thing - females lose eggs every year. It gets harder to conceive the older you get.

I am not anti-feminist I am all for women waiting until they're older or not wanting kids but facts are facts.

Im 27 and mine has been stop start ticking for 2-3 years. Sometimes all I can think about is getting pregnant and other times the feeling is non existent and I just want to travel and life my life a while longer. But when I hear a close friend announce I do get a weird jealous feeling which I hate. I definitely think biological clocks are real though, I was a real tomboy mud that never played with dolls and my parents have never tried to push that type of mothering role onto me.

It's my 27th birthday next week. I have a 7 year old DS and a 4 year old step-son. 99% sure we won't have more. Odd to think about in my mid-twenties when I could conceivably have children for another 15+ years

29 but was infertile until DS appeared at 39. I would love another but not sure if it will happen

This is a good, easy to understand study on the biological clock if anyone is interested.

www.nhs.uk/news/pregnancy-and-child/biological-clock-studied/

Never feel pressured into having a baby though OP.
Many women wait until their in their 40s. Some may struggle but then so might an 18-year-old - all our eggs are completely different.

40. I thought I’d better get on with it and was very lucky to fall pregnant and have a baby at the ripe old age of 42.

I was 19, my sister had just had my nephew and I REALLY wanted a baby. Took til I was 27 to have one and am now 29 with DS aged 2 ❤️ he's my absolute world. Clock is definitely ticking though, would love to have another but options are limited at the moment

But surely you can see @Poppi89, that the name of the article is a complete misnomer?

I had my kids at 27 and 33.
I wanted kids from 23 but was sensible in those days. Established career (ha!) and got married and bought house in those 4 years.

33

39. Had DD one week short of my 41st birthday. She was three weeks early, so I should have been 41 when I had her.

At 30 you have bags of time, unless you are unlucky enough to have premature ovarian failure, which isn’t common. Try and make sure you really want kids before having them, rather than be swept along by FOMO.