Birthday Driveby & feeling left out

[NewHorizons2020]

It’s my Daughters classmate / one of her friends birthdays today. One of the other mums is organising a birthday drive-by. All the other mums / kids arevjoining in. A lovely lovely idea - only - it was my daughters birthday a few days into lockdown and she didnt get any calls or cards. Because there was so much uncertainty at the time / birthday drive-bys hadnt became a “thing“, I didnt think to organise anything and explained her friends forgetting her birthday due to all the early lockdown madness. Ive promised herva big party once lock down is over. It was fine at the time. However - what do i do now ? Do i tell her about todays drive by or not ? If i do she will understandably feel really left out / if i dont and she finds out through her friends online she will equally feel left out.

Just adding here that she was really upset at the time that only one of her friends had remembered to say happy birthday on the day.

Why do birthdays have to be such a huge deal these days. Even in the middle of a pandemic a big fuss still has to be made. Birthday drive by? I’ve heard it all.

My Birthday is soon I demand a birthday drive buy 😃.

Late December birthdays get forgotten too.

I would not call a birthday drive-by irresponsible to a child in an attempt to put her off it - most children would want to see their friends, especially the OP's who was upset that no-one remembered her birthday.

I think it sounds a nice idea actually! I am sure a 10yo can understand the difference between a few days into lockdown and a few weeks and how people have had a chance to think and plan now.

Jesus.

I'd never even heard of a Birthday Driveby..Sounds a bit like a gangsta thing!

I'm reading like WTF is a birthday drive by? What do they do, hang out the window as they zoom past yelling happy birthday or something?! OP says "all the mums are in on it, is it like a convoy of window yellers?! Sounds bonkers to me lol Yeah, and not exactly essential travel

In a car you are in a super mask bubble. Cannot see a problem here.

Do you really think your 10yo isn't going to understand?

Her birthday was a long time ago, yes its shit but its life.

Is she that indulged that she will get upset about today's drive by?

@crunchymum - please don’t make assumptions about how indulged my child is or isn’t. I am asking for opinions on what to do in a situation, not your assumptions based on nowt.

@Crunchymum oh and 4 weeks ago isn’t that long ago, even for a 10 year old. But thanks for contributing.

It's time to teach children resilience and acceptance.... they are going to bloody need it.

So if a 10yo cannot understand why her friend got something, she didn't then I'm afraid you have some issues there.

Sorry to be harsh but to me (and I don't have a 10yo yet... my eldest is 7) I really wouldn't pussy foot around this issue.

Tell her, explain the rationale and help her accept the situation. Its what I'd be doing for my elder two.

And I'm not sure how a birthday "a few days after lockdown" was 4 weeks ago?

I heard about the birthday drive by for captain tom and couldn't help think what a stupid idea it was, a bunch of cars all in the same area at once so more chance of an accident and the drivers all distracted waving gormlessly out the window and therefore even more likely to cause an accident. So fucking stupid and selfish and most likely led by the overly sentimental, virtue signalling clapping brigade.

Anyway, op I'd tell her cos she will hear about it and it would make her feel left out if she doesn't know but dont make a big deal out of it.

crunchymum lockdown only started about 5 weeks ago (late March) tho it does feel like years...

Is the mum going to hold drive-bus for all the kids in dc’s class who’s birthdays are in March/April/ May etc.

Nice idea, but not if only for one child. why is she so special.

Drive by.

First day of lockdown was 24th March. Almost 6 weeks ago?

@Crunchymum lockdown started 5 weeks ago ?!

Hold on - so the drove by is that a load of people drive by her home? Surely it would be more sensible the other way around? (Not that either idea is great).

5.5 weeks. God it does feel much longer.

But I wasnt sure where the 4 weeks came from?

DD2's 11th birthday is in a couple of weeks and she's disappointed not to celebrate with friends too. I don't think she'd appreciate a rule-breaking drive by at all - she'd be embarrassed and would worry it's instead of a celebration with friends at some point. I'd tell her about what a friend's parent is organising and say I'd be happy for us to walk by if she wanted to join in but that it's up to her.

It feels about 6 years @crunchymum

Crunchymum “It's time to teach children resilience and acceptance.... they are going to bloody need it. “

No hope of this when their parents can’t learn to live with the fact of possible death.

Birthday drive by?
🤯