Emigrate after all this...

[Fruitbatdancer]

I’ve always wanted to live abroad, sunshine really effects my mood (in a good way) France, Spain, maybe further South America etc
The one and only thing holding me back (husband is super keen) is worry of missing family.
Don’t get me wrong I’m missing them like mad now, but it doable, in coping, so it’s made me think what’s stopping us? We’d probably spend more quality time as they’d visit often?
AIBU? Crazy? Has lockdown just messed with my head?

PrimeroseHillAnnie, we said the same thing as your friend 20 years ago. It was like living in a crystal ball. Things have changed so much since then.
It’s certainly not for everyone, but it’s a good life for those of us who enjoy it. My husband is a dr and his job here is so much better than the last one he had in the UK. He works in psychiatry and his service is so well funded, he can give his patients the treatment they need and deserve, rather than constantly firefighting. Add to that his increased salary and it’s win win.
Anyway, this isn’t an Australia thread.
OP, there are some amazing opportunities and experiences out there and it’s worth doing. At worst you’ll take your experiences back to the UK with new perspectives.

Ha, we reckon living in WA is like living in the 80s a lot of the time. But the 80s was a great decade, so I'm ok with that.

EagleSqueak, I’m a sister on a severe burns unit. I’ve worked in a few countries before we had kids , my husband was in the oil refinery business , so I have some insight. And altho I’ve never worked down under , I understand where my friend is coming from. Personally I couldn’t live or work anywhere else either , for many reasons, not that anybody would have me . And I literally do deal with fire fighting, or the consequences of it. The NHS isn’t perfect but it’s the third largest single employer in the WORLD serving a country with a population greater than that of Australia, Canada and New Zealand combined. That’s enough commitment for me. And after working in Gulf States I quite like the rain too.

I grew up abroad and I would say that there are pros and cons.

If it’s the weather and outdoor lifestyle you’re after then absolutely go for it assuming that you can come back to the UK any time.

However, a lot of that time you won’t be living the outdoor lifestyle because you will still have work, bills, the country you move to will still have its problems even if they’re different to the problems over here. It doesn’t matter where you go there are going to be people wishing they could leave to go somewhere else. It’s not a coincidence that there are so many Australians living in the UK who say they love it here more than in Aus.

Expect to see family only if you’re prepared to be the one who visits here not the other way around. Family say they’ll visit but they rarely do,sometimes never,and FaceTime really isn’t a substitute however much people tell you that it is. If you have small children be prepared for the fact they will never likely have a close relationship with extended family. And if you’re the one who visits here be prepared that you won’t have the holiday (or the money) to go anywhere else.

And IME most people abroad still are drawn to other Brits abroad, it happens the same with other countries as well but in general people will tell you that they know an awful lot of other Brits, and all these people gravitate towards each other hence why it’s considered to be the expat community. And so often they love their lifestyles abroad but still spend a lot of time reminiscing about “home.”

And healthcare is a consideration. As much as people slate the NHS, the NHS is still there, and anywhere else you will either not get the same level of healthcare or you’ll need to be sure you have good medical insurance. Again, it’s not a coincidence that many Brits travel back from other countries because of their health.

I grew up abroad and I wouldn’t change that for anything. But it’s naive to think that it’s always going to be sunshine and roses. Often it’s a case of swapping one set of problems for another.

Only you and your husband can decide on a plan such as this. Only you can assertain ,if it is just the blues, about lock down in the uk, and all the doom and gloom about everything now.. You need to think through about everything, but if you really have a dream of seriously moving away.. then follow the dream.

Lots of people will have the same thoughts about leaving family if they move abroad, Some family will maybe wan't to visit you, and some won't. for various reasons, it's all part and parcel of dealing with everything

It baffles me that people would swap being near their friends, family and communities for more sunshine and a pool in the garden. Maybe I’m not wired that way, but to me these things just don’t massively impact my quality of life. It’s got to be people every time.
Also, I think I agree with the thing about there being no such thing as quality time. Just time. Spend it with those you love and give you life.

We are in WA, Australia. Left the U.K. in December so we are pretty new. Yes, we miss family, but the lifestyle here is incredible. More money, huge house (for the same as we paid in the U.K. for our 3 bed in SE England). DC spend all day outside, in the pool or on the beach.
I have found the people so incredibly friendly. As soon as they hear you’re new they try to help, we have been looked after on every side, been given things, and random people from my DC’s school or the neighbourhood message me offering to meet up and help us settle.

I will always miss the beauty of the U.K., but we escaped the rat race of private prep schools, immense academic pressure, financial strain and instability.
We are so happy in our new home. My DC keeps saying “I wish we had done this 10 years ago”.

Sorry, my DH, not the children!! they’re still too young to say that!

Many of us who live abroad are saying the exact opposite. It's really hard to be apart and literally not be able to travel back - and I'm not even close to my family.

Visit very often - it won't happen. One of the big complaints of expats. People promise to visit and they rarely do. It's understandable, people have limited time and resources.

And whoever said the UK is becoming third world - maybe actually go and spend time in a developing country and you'll see how ludicrous that statement is.

Some people truly don't know they're born.

"It baffles me that people would swap being near their friends, family and communities for more sunshine and a pool in the garden."

What, you can't get your head around the fact that people are different to you?

Isn't it dreadfully boring to assume everyone is the same as you?

Besides which, many people have cunty families.

Primerose, I do understand where you’re coming from, hence why we’ve e been backwards and forwards three times! I’m a nurse too (or I was, I don’t work anymore) and I love everything the NHS stands for - it’s something to be very proud of. However, mental health has been absolutely devastated by the cuts and my DH felt he could no longer give the care he was trained to give and felt that the situation was getting dangerous, so we left again.. The difference is stark in what is offered to people here (and used to be offered in the UK until a few short years ago). I would have been happy to stay in the UK if he’d been happy at work, but I’m very happy here too. I guess I’m lucky.
I’m not sure I’d choose the gulf states either, but I do have a degree of SAD, so the lighter, brighter days are good for me. That said, it’s 10 degs and raining in Melbourne today 😄

Mean, one of the benefits of moving and living in different places means that you make new friends. That doesn’t mean you lose the old ones - most of us put effort into keeping our friendships across the world and just because we live away from extended family doesn’t mean we love them any less.
It’s the main downside of living away from home which is why the OP is right to consider it - it’s the biggest reason people go home. Some can cope with it, others can’t. There’s no right or wrong, we’re all different.

@banana64
Uk well England is heading for third world status.

What utter rubbish. Have you ever been to a third world country?

I’m in Asia - we’ve been here nearly 7 years. I love where we live and don’t regret it but I’ve also known people come who hate it and can’t wait to leave. So go into eyes open (sometimes, it will feel like the hardest thing you’ve ever done) and do your research (eg. Do you want to live near other expats or more locally? How much are rental deposits typically? How do you open a bank account? Etc)

I think you have to be realistic about people visiting. It is a 14 hour direct flight back to the UK from here and that rarely costs less than GBP700 per person (and at Xmas can be more like GBP1,200 pp). I assume the costs of getting to South America are similar, if not more. Realistically, can your family afford this once a year? Can you afford that to fly back? Also, how do you plan to earn money whilst you are away?

I live abroad (for work, in a sunny and hot climate). With my DH and 2 DC. We have a nice life here and are happy, but this entire crisis has made me re-evaluate living abroad for the long term. The inability to see my parents; for my parents to see my children; for us to go home for the summer break has been so hard on all of us mentally. My parents are not getting any younger and whilst they can still travel now, in 10 years time maybe it would be more of a struggle. I have had my focus sharpened and we have decided that we will move back to the UK in around a years time. I've learnt from the corona crisis that people you love and cherish are irreplaceable, they're not going to be around forever, and there's no place like home when the chips are down! Everyone is different, but I would think very carefully for a long time before you commit to starting a new life abroad.

Ha, we reckon living in WA is like living in the 80s a lot of the time. But the 80s was a great decade, so I'm ok with that

Lol I moved to WA 18 years ago and I remember being so confused as to why it was so sleepy and everything was always closed. 😂

Admittedly it has gotten a lot better but I’m pretty much still planning my exit as soon as all my kids have grown up.

We’re expats who looked for an adventure, I wish it had been the 3-4yr adventure we’d planned because 8yrs away and you realise it’s all the same shit in a different bucket and I want to go home

I suppose you're not unreasonable if that's what you want to do but 'hot' countries aren't hot all the time, they have bad storms and the like, lots of insects. Judging by last summer here in the UK that was so glorious, I think I'd stay put, it was lovely. It's even been good recently and we're only just in May. Even now with the rain it isn't cold.

Grumpy But won't you miss your kids? I mean...they'll probably stay in Oz right?

Bear in mind the costs of health care in the EU once the UK is fully out.

Also another thing to consider is that if you move back to the UK at a later date (and many people do as they get older,) your children might not want to move as they will consider where you move to as home if they’ve grown up there. So they may well marry and have children with people who are local meaning that moving back home could mean leaving your children and potential grandchildren behind with no guarantees as to when or even if you will see them again.

And yes, Australia for instance has major issues most years. Bush fires, flooding this year for starters. In fact coronavirus has been minor in comparison to the other issues they’ve faced.

We’d probably spend more quality time as they’d visit often?

This is a delusion right now. No one knows what travel will be like when this is over, how much more expensive it will be etc. We are living abroad and have been told by the government that travel abroad is not recommended until next year. DH and I were discussing and we don't even know right now if we could travel!

I know loads of people who have family in another country and it is worrying and unsettling knowing that if there was an emergency you wouldn't be able to get to them,

Don't rely on people visiting often. It's expensive. Elderly people might not feel comfortable travelling. People won't want to always use their holidays to see you however close you are. A lot of people (especially on MN!) believe the person who moved away should make all the effort to travel - how often would you be able to afford to come back?

We’ve lived in several countries (including a stint in South America) and have had an amazing life. We are very fortunate as our family travelled to meet us wherever we lived. Haven’t looked back.

The only thing I’d recommend is having jobs (or prospects) lined up before you go. In our case it’s been easy as we are teachers.

Grumpy But won't you miss your kids? I mean...they'll probably stay in Oz right?

Yes of course I’d miss them. I can’t live here forever though. I’m miserable and want to go home. Or at the very least, closer to home. WA is so isolated from everything plane fares are astronomical to go anywhere and rarely affordable for me.

They’d obviously be welcome to come.

If you normally see your family a lot, I think you'd need to try and make it somewhere fairly close. When we emigrated to the US we had lots of visitors for a few years and we went back each year but after a few years people had, frankly, better things to do with their time and holiday than come to see us again. And we wanted to have a vacation that wasn't about trying to fit all our friends and relatives in to a two week trip (to be fair, the US is particularly poor on this front because standard vacation is so poor).

We managed fine and we stayed and we've loved it (though we did return for a 6 year stint when we had kids). But we didn't have a lot of contact with family before the move. If family contact is important you probably want to make sure you are close enough that a long weekend isn't an outrageous idea.