Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should neighbours ask beforehand?

198 replies

TisforTucan · 01/05/2020 11:36

Woke up today to our neighbour nailing spikes onto the top of the fence (i'm assuming it's to deter our cat from going on it). We've never had any bad words, sure we probably irratate each other but never argued or anything and we've talked before.

Im not offended by the spikes, cat annoys us half the time by pooping in the garden ect but I just feel like they could of knocked and said "hi were going to do this, as we don't really want cat in our garden". I would of appreciated it more to have been told and think I'm more offended that they couldn't come talk to us.

Would anyone else want to be told? Funny thing is, it's not going to work as cat can jump over other parts of the fence so it's just made things a bit awkward I feel now.

OP posts:
Stellamboscha · 01/05/2020 14:06

And never knew it was possibly to get cheap plastic spike -thanks for the advice - will get some!

TisforTucan · 01/05/2020 14:06

I don't have a cat

You can have mine if you'd like Grin

Do you want to be asked when they plant something new?

If it's cannabis yeah, stuff stinks.

Serious(ish) note, selfish cat owner here is going to try my best to keep cat in and from being hurt, I haven't seen the spikes DH is in work and I'm too short to see what they're made of, they're silvery? I need to go get a better look but concerned if they are metal. Just rather amused by the comments now, not that bothered thinking it through.

Also the person who offered to tutor my cat via Skype please DM me.

OP posts:
Stantons · 01/05/2020 14:10

I remember my old neighbour nailing carpet grip to his fence and my three legged cat walking along it picking his way between the spikes

HappyHammy · 01/05/2020 14:11

Metal spikes are horrible. I hope no person, bird or animal gets injured. Can you build a catio.

ducksback · 01/05/2020 14:13

They sound horrible OP.

TisforTucan · 01/05/2020 14:15

Do cat owners tell their neighbours they are getting a cat knowing it will probably impact on them?

This is the thing though, we could argue about dogs here, I've had both cats and dogs. Dogs can cause noise nuisance, and fouling on gardens too. I have dogs poop on my front lawn all the time, what if I put spikes on my garden to stop them shitting on it (would never do such a thing) would we have an entirely different thread here?

OP posts:
lollipoplola · 01/05/2020 14:22

You're overthinking it. I might look into buying these for our fence and I won't run it by next door first. It won't be that I'm trying to be awkward or cause trouble it'll be because I don't want their cat to continue shitting in our new flower bed that my young children tend to.

LimitIsUp · 01/05/2020 14:23

If metal spikes - its a bit much. I guess we'll have to wait until taller dh gets back to verify what material they are made from.

As none cat people they may not realise that the metal spikes present a risk. They might just assume that the cat will eyeball the spikes and think "Nah, I won't bother then"

AwrightDoreenTakeAFuckinDayOff · 01/05/2020 14:24

I like cats but I can’t stand cat shit in my garden. I hate spikes. The thought of injuring an animal makes me feel ill.

Water pistols sort of worked. A lockdown dog works better. Grin

She leaves birds and hedgehogs alone but cats are fair game. She is way too slow to catch them and generally a lollop and a bark is enough to get them scarpering.

frostedviolets · 01/05/2020 14:24

This is the thing though, we could argue about dogs here, I've had both cats and dogs. Dogs can cause noise nuisance, and fouling on gardens too. I have dogs poop on my front lawn all the time, what if I put spikes on my garden to stop them shitting on it (would never do such a thing) would we have an entirely different thread here?

Thing is though, dogs are covered by law...

It is an offence to allow a dog to poo in public and not pick it up.
You can be fined if caught.

It’s also an offence to let a dog roam free, if caught your dog will be taken to the pound.

And it’s an offence to let your dog bark frequently enough to cause a noise nuisance.

The two aren’t comparable.

I am a cat owner and I do (despite how the next paragraph will sound) quite like cats but they are imo pets for the inconsiderate.
Let them out to roam where they can piss and shit everywhere, dig up peoples plants, kill the wildlife and there is no consequence whatsoever.
It’s really wrong.

It isn’t really fair that other people have to be negatively affected by your pet.

MadameMeursault · 01/05/2020 14:24

I think legally they would be in a bad position if they injured your cat. Plus they are cruel bastards. I wouldn’t feel very neighbourly towards anyone who did this.

NailsNeedDoing · 01/05/2020 14:41

I have dogs poop on my front lawn all the time, what if I put spikes on my garden to stop them shitting on it (would never do such a thing) would we have an entirely different thread here?

Of course we would have a different thread. Not one person would agree that it’s acceptable for dog owners to allow their pet to shit on your garden. But as it is, we have this thread, full of selfish cat owners, who think it’s ok to let their pets shit in other people’s gardens.

None of these things would be a problem if people took responsibility for their own pets. The difference is that the majority of dog owners do pick up after their pet has shat and it’s only a minority that spoil things for everyone else. With cat owners, the majority don’t know and don’t care where their cats shit, and there’s only a tiny minority that bother to cat proof their gardens to keep their pets in.

thecatneuterer · 01/05/2020 14:46

I haven't read the full thread and can well imagine the replies as it's in AIBU. You should have posted in The Litter Tray OP.

It's illegal to put metal spikes or anything dangerous on the fence. It doesn't matter who the fence belongs to. If your local council has an Animal Warden they will tell the neighbours to remove such spikes if you ask them.

If its the plastic ones that is OK.

lau1998 · 01/05/2020 14:55

I can understand the frustration with them not telling you but then they could of asked you, you might of said no (not saying you would of but maybe from their perspective) and then they're still stuck with the problem.

I throw all the neighbours cat shit back over their garden in bags. I have 2 DS and it is annoying so I don't blame your neighbour, if I wanted shit all over my garden I'd consider getting a cat or dog myself. If I owned a cat and they're making a mess in a neighbours garden and I knew it was a problem, I'd offer to pay for some sort of deterrent.

Durgasarrow · 01/05/2020 14:55

Your neighbors have every right to put nails in their own fence! You could keep your cat inside, where it would live a longer and healthier life and not kill songbirds.

Jaxhog · 01/05/2020 14:57

Assuming you're in the UK, your cat has 'the right to roam'. If your cat (or any other animal) is injured as a result of fence spikes, they will be in serious trouble. You are allowed to use a deterrent against cats, but only if it won't harm them. There are loads of safe deterrents available.

And I agree, it is pretty rude not to have mentioned it to you. However, it may not only be your cat that's the problem. Some people think they can do this to deter pigeons too.

AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter · 01/05/2020 14:59

I'm sorry but I'm on their side. Our neighbours 3 cats shit constantly in our garden and its vile. In fact, I might do this now.
If its their fence, they dont need your permission.

ILuvQuarintinis · 01/05/2020 15:03

Why didn't you stop your cat going on the fence?

Grin
AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter · 01/05/2020 15:06

I think legally they would be in a bad position if they injured your cat

Nope. According to law, cats are "wild animals" which is why you dont have to control them like you do with dogs. Obv if you purposely hurt a cat, thats different but if a cat hurt itself by climbing on your fence, thats not your fault at all. Owner should keep it indoors if they arent willing total the risk.

WeAllHaveWings · 01/05/2020 15:08

I just feel like they could of knocked and said "hi were going to do this, as we don't really want cat in our garden"

And when they moved in did you knock and say "hi just to let you know I've got a cat that likes shitting in your garden, is that ok or shall we discuss how to stop it?"

It seems you want a courtesy from them to ask if they can make modifications on their own fence when you didn't give them the same courtesy for the cat problem you are inflicting on them. Double standards?

thecatneuterer · 01/05/2020 15:08

Nope. It is illegal to attach things to fences that could injure animals. I would be just as illegal if the animals they could injure were foxes for example. Normally the Council will intervene. If you don't have an Animal Warden it will be more tricky although still possible to make them remove it.

WombatChocolate · 01/05/2020 15:09

Most of the time, communication is good, but there are some occasions where it isn't needed and can cause problems.

I think this is one of the latter situations.

Neighbour could have told you they planned to put spikes on their own fence and why. It would have involved mentioning your cat. They probably chose not to because they felt it would infer some criticism of you - in terms of it being your cat that is messing in their garden. They probably recognise you have no control over the cat, so don't want to imply criticism of you - so thought it best to just do it and say nothing.

Given it is their fence, it is perfectly reasonable.

Should you now bring it up? Probably not, because to do so implies criticism of them for not mentioning it before. Are they entitled to try to prevent your cat going in their garden - well yes. Are you entitled to have a cat - well yes.

Your cat isn't loved by them and their spikes probably aren't loved by you. Do you both accept the right of the neighbour to have them - probably yes, so in this case it's best to just carry on as if nothing had happened.

It's not the same as for example, neighbour deciding to put up an extension, or have a loud party or have a big bonfire on a nice day - these are all things which common courtesy would suggest neighbours speak to each other about.

This is a bit different, and I think best just ignored. You might find neighbour later mentions the spikes (probably rather awkwardly) and it would be good at that point to be gracious and just say you understand.

They haven't done something wrong and neither have you. Sometimes we need to do little things to make living with neighbours nearby more bearable and accept others might want to do those things. They aren't telling you to get rid of your cat or to control it in a way you can't or trying to kill your cat, but to deter it. Hopefully you can understand why, but also that it might be a bit awkward to talk about.

Move on.

thecatneuterer · 01/05/2020 15:09

Sorry, that was for @AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter

Windyatthebeach · 01/05/2020 15:09

Metal spikes become illegal if they cause injury to your cat...

steppemum · 01/05/2020 15:14

sorry, haven't read everything, but I seem to remember form a LONG thread about this beofre, that if the spikes can hurt a cat that falls on them, then they are illegal.
There are plastic spikes which should deter without hurting, but if they are nasty metal spikes, he really shouldn't be doing it.