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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should neighbours ask beforehand?

198 replies

TisforTucan · 01/05/2020 11:36

Woke up today to our neighbour nailing spikes onto the top of the fence (i'm assuming it's to deter our cat from going on it). We've never had any bad words, sure we probably irratate each other but never argued or anything and we've talked before.

Im not offended by the spikes, cat annoys us half the time by pooping in the garden ect but I just feel like they could of knocked and said "hi were going to do this, as we don't really want cat in our garden". I would of appreciated it more to have been told and think I'm more offended that they couldn't come talk to us.

Would anyone else want to be told? Funny thing is, it's not going to work as cat can jump over other parts of the fence so it's just made things a bit awkward I feel now.

OP posts:
NotaDrinkShoe · 01/05/2020 13:27

It would have been neighbourly for them to tell you first before putting the spikes up.
I hope they're rubber ones. Please Google Rodney Bewes cat, he won a court battle against George Harrison's widow after his cat was injured several times by barbed wire topped fences.

NotaDrinkShoe · 01/05/2020 13:28

Rodney Bewes, not his cat, won the court case. Blimey if it was his cat that would've been even more stupendous than your Spanish speaking cat!

SallyWD · 01/05/2020 13:29

I don't think it's awkward at all. Why would it be? And yes it's impossible to stop your cat going where it wants. It's easy for people to say "Keep them in" but actually that's not fair. I've just adopted a rescue cat and the charity would only proceed with the adoption if we agreed to give it access outside and install a cat flap. However, what I would say is it would be polite to offer to clear up your cat's mess if you know it's going to the toilet in your neighbour's garden. They probably wouldn't accept the offer but it's a nice gesture.

heartsonacake · 01/05/2020 13:33

YABU. It’s their fence, they don’t need to ask, and common courtesy goes out the window when you’re allowing your animal to roam in their garden and piss you off.

heartsonacake · 01/05/2020 13:34

*piss them off

Monstermissy36 · 01/05/2020 13:36

My neighbour did this, it is my fence too. I texted him and told him I would of appreciated being asked first as it was my fence. He did apologise and said he meant to come over and mention it.

In the grand scheme of things it wasn't a big deal but I wanted him to know/remind him it was my fence.

Thinkingabout1t · 01/05/2020 13:38

As always with garden-related issue I recommend gardenlaw.co.uk - a forum that helped me sort out problems with a difficult neighbour.

Itwasntme1 · 01/05/2020 13:38

My poor cat gets blamed for every poo In The neighbourhood. There are about ten cats, and mine usually poos in my garden (I have set up an area🤢).

I have explained this to my neighbours, apologised incase it is occasionally her and outlined why I am doing to keep her inside more and try and make sure she only poos in my garden. I have actually watched other cats poo in my neighbours garden, but they seem to only blame my poor cat. Can’t reason with them.

KatherineJaneway · 01/05/2020 13:39

Why didn't you stop your cat going on the fence

Because a cat does what they want, when they want.

Hadenoughfornow · 01/05/2020 13:39

I don't have a cat. I don't want a cat.

I definitely don't want someone's cat sitting in my garden.

But its what happens all the time. And it is annoying and unfair.

Hadenoughfornow · 01/05/2020 13:40

*shitting

ReluctantHillCrester · 01/05/2020 13:42

My sister's cats have a catio!

They are mainly indoor cats so this allows them the freedom to go outside but within the safety of the catio.

It is relatively large one, not one like a rabbit hutch, they built it themselves and it has ramps and all sorts.

I have at least 3 cats visit my garden. If there was someway to prevent it, I would. I think "spikes" means the plastic cones not actual spikes of metal.

NailsNeedDoing · 01/05/2020 13:46

So you think they should tell you because they’ve done something that you think affects you, but you don’t think you should have to talk to them about the effect your pet has on them?

Honestly, cat owners really are as selfish as it gets.

Solve the problem, and cat proof your own garden.

Lidlfix · 01/05/2020 13:46

The only reason this will be awkward is if you and your neighbours let it be. Their fence, their choice. As there are 8 cats in the street who may or may not shit on the lawn, the spikes keep them all out not just yours. I wouldn't take it personally.

isitsummertimeyet · 01/05/2020 13:47

I hate cats and for years my mums had 4 of her neighbours cats poo 5+ times a day for years without the neighbour ever appoligizing or giving a care in the world.. I really feel for her..

just recently I cut down some large trees from my front garden and put in fresh soil, compost, seeds and some new shrubs

fast forward a week or so and ive had a cat coming in to start kicking up all the soil and lay its freshly laid turds in my soil.. I was fuming..

couple of days later I spotted the same cat, so threw some stones in its direction to deter it from coming back..

It has been back but only once so far, I wouldn't hesitate to make those stones hit it if it continues to come in my garden..

cat owners are self entitled.. happy for their felines to go and poo in everyones garden and expect people to accept it..

CrunchyCarrot · 01/05/2020 13:48

I think your neighbour should have told you, even though it's their fence. It's just good manners. However what's done is done, just let it be and try not to worry about it too much.

Oldraver · 01/05/2020 13:52

What happens when your cat is injured by the spikes? Are they going to foot the vet bills?

Exactly, some spikes are better than others, you can get rubber ones but my neighbours opted for cheap shit plastic ones

Cue £500 vet bill as the vet as the cat has a hole in his foot

bringincrazyback · 01/05/2020 13:53

Why didn't you stop your cat going on the fence?

How??

LilacTree1 · 01/05/2020 13:53

It’s their fence

Do you want to be asked when they plant something new?

LilacTree1 · 01/05/2020 13:54

I love cats btw.

Keeva2017 · 01/05/2020 13:58

Do cat owners tell their neighbours they are getting a cat knowing it will probably impact on them? If not then how is it different that this neighbour has put up a cat deterrent without talking to you first?

MumW · 01/05/2020 14:00

How do you know if it is a shared fence? Our neighbours painted their side and it has came through abit so I will have to paint our side the same colour. The front of the fence is on our side but it is inbetween the gardens so this is a shared fence?
You need to look on the deeds to your property, there should be a mark to indicate who is responsible for maintaining each of your boundaries. As a rule of thumb, the flat side of the fence usually faces the non-responsible party. This is because the flat side sits on the boundary line so the posts behind are in the garden of the responsible party. This isn't black and white though - we are responsible for the boundary but the builders put the flat side our way.

I've seen this suggested online to keep your cats in. Not being a cat person, I've no idea if they work.
petstop.com/cat-fence/

WriteAndErase · 01/05/2020 14:00

Why not speak to them about it if you're worried about it being awkward.

Say you've noticed they've put spikes up, is your cat being a nuisance. If so you will research ways to help from your side of the fence.

NailsNeedDoing · 01/05/2020 14:03

Exactly, some spikes are better than others, you can get rubber ones but my neighbours opted for cheap shit plastic ones

I’m sorry you cat got hurt, but unless you’re going to offer to pay for your neighbours to have the expensive spikes that you approve of or you put one of those things around your own garden fence to stop cats getting out, what do you expect?

Stellamboscha · 01/05/2020 14:04

Do cat owners tell their neighbours they are getting a cat knowing it will probably impact on them? If not then how is it different that this neighbour has put up a cat deterrent without talking to you first?
Well said! Our neighbour got a cat and then had the cheek to ask me to remove the netting I put up to stop the cat coming into our garden 'because he likes going into your garden' !!!! I do not want the skanky cat in my garden!