Step Mother and House Sale Proceeds

[NearlyAlwaysOnTime]

So, a slightly complicated situation but I'll try to keep in brief.

4 years ago my DF passed away suddenly. He had been married to my step mother for about 2 years when he died. A trust had already been set up which granted SM a life interest in the family home and, upon her death the property would pass to my older sister.

SM very quickly decided she wanted to sell the family home and move away. She put the property on the market without any real consultation and accepted the first offer made which was significantly below the probate valuation. At the time, I decided that as she was grieving (we all were), that I would let her carry on. She made it very difficult as she went ahead with all of this without solicitors or the trustees knowledge. Part of the reason we reluctantly agreed was that she wanted to move back to where she was originally from and I felt for her in that respect as she would otherwise have been quite isolated.

After selling the family home she purchased a new property using the funds of the sale. She assured us that this was the perfect place and she would be happy there. Shortly afterwards she decided it needed to be extended.

She didn't consult the trustees or give us any input but she did email us saying that she was spending her money on the extension to make it a lovely place to live and she would never want it back etc.

Fast forward a couple of years and she wants the money back. She says she needs some cash, presumably having spent around £100k she was also left by DF.

Since springing this on us she has proceeded to push and push and has now sold the 2nd house and purchased a third.

All of the above is incredibly frustrating but bearable. Now we come to the AIBU section. After selling the second house and buying the 3rd there is £65k left over. She was initially trying to get all of that, but we've pointed out that some of the increase in value would have been due to inflation. This has gone on and on and the money still hasn't been split.

AIBU to use the email she sent saying she didn't expect any of the money back and/or to push for my sister and I to get a decent amount of inflation.

Thus far she is suggesting 2% p/a which is far below the stats for the area.

I can't decide if I'm being overly emotional and stubborn or if we really need to take a stand.

Sorry that should read - house would pass to me and my older sister

i think you need to speak to a solicitor

Maybe ask for this to be moved to legal?

I'm not sure she was ever able to sell the first house. If so I'm not sure how that got passed the solicitors.

You need proper legal advice. I'd see a solicitor.

If she only had a life interest, how was she able to sell your father’s house?

Thanks for the response. Solicitors are already dealing with it and are basically asking for our comments on the split. It feels unhelpful as I would rather they just took control. The money is in the solicitors account waiting to be distributed. I suppose my real question is how hard do I push and is it worth risking what is left of our relationship. If I don't push I know I'll resent it and if I do, my feeling girls the relationship will be damaged beyond repair.

She wasn't able to sell it. The trustees had to sign. But the agents put it on the market at her request and she 'accepted' the offer. Obviously that doesn't actually have legal standing but it led to a situation in which my sister and I were confronted with a situation of: this is what she wants to do - yes or no. As I said earlier, because we had some sympathy we agreed. Technically the trust allows her to move house as long as the capital is protected so as long as the Trustees agree then she is able to do it.

I’d say it’s already screwed she’s just doing whatever she likes without consulting you

If your father's house was sold, surely at that point she relinquished her claim to it and the money was handed over to you and your sister?

She doesn't have a "lifetime interest" in the revenue created by the house, she just had the opportunity to live there until she died should she so wish.

Legally the money should now be split between your DFs two DC as per the will, or am I missing something?

Apologies, crossed post.

Is she losing money with every move?

Take a stand now or say goodbye to any ££. She gives zero fucks about any sort of relationship with you imo...

Surely when house sold the money should have gone to your sister?

I have no expertise whatsoever, and it’s no help, but I would never have let her sell the original house. I wouldn’t care about keeping her happy. I certainly wouldn’t make any more concessions to her. The house she sold was your house, and that’s pretty clear. I guess it all gets more complicated when it’s not the same house any more though.

8% per annum has always been the amount solicitors quote for interest in things in my experience.

Step back from the emotions here, just ask your solicitor for their advice from a legal pov then pursue it based on what they think is legally sound and realistic to execute.

And stop making the situation more complex by agreeing to grey areas, you've made the situation far more complicated by trying to do what arbitrary thing you think is fair 4 years ago. You've undermined the deceased's wishes tbh.

Use written evidence of you have it, but you should be discussing this with legal representation, not Joe public.

Anyway. What did she sell original house for and what's the 3rd house sold for?

You really, really should have said no! Her selling the property has allowed her effectively to squander your inheritance.

I'm assuming you and your sister are the Trustees. As such, you should have taken action when she tried to sell the first house. Your father clearly didn't want the value of the house to be frittered away like this, and you get to the point where it's hard to identify what is hers and what comes from the original house sale.

it isn't too late, but if you want to keep what remains of the estate your father wanted you to have, you need to put your foot down, now.

It sounds like she has been selling each house, buying a cheaper one and keeping the difference and spending it, thus eroding your inheritance. What a mess.

Just as an aside , if you were to go down the inflation route, house prices have increased more than CPI/RPI so use a calculator like this, adjusted (crudely) for region, or get a proper valuation:

www.nationwide.co.uk/about/house-price-index/house-price-calculator

Solicitor. And no, she gets no money.

I appreciate that we should have taken a tougher stance early on. In hindsight I would have but this started weeks after his death and she was completely out of control and we were all in difficult places. The Trust provides her with a home for life and has a provision by which she is able to request that the trustees (2 solicitors) sell the house and purchase another. The difference between the sale price and purchase price should go into Trust for us.

The problem here is that the £65k is attributable in part to the works that she did and paid for - so now she wants it back and some more!

Thanks for all your replies. I think it is just helpful to know that even if we have been too soft in the past, we aren't unreasonable being a bit tougher now.

Who are the solicitors acting for? The trustees, your step mother or you?

So the solicitors are acting for the Trustees who officially have to consider and balance all of our interests. The problem seems to be that they continually ask for our comments on things rather than advising. My step mother has basically said she wants the majority of the money less 2%pa inflation. She also wants a 1/3 of the inflation which I have already said no to.

In a situation like this it is possible,with the Trustees consent, to replace the house with another property
In fact it is common eg to move from large house to more manageable property
But trustees need to consent
I think you need to get a grip on this situation

You need to take a really hard line now. I don’t understand why you let her sell the first house, let alone the second house. She had a lifetime interest to be housed but not in the house of her choice. Hopefully the solicitors will unravel this mess. Don’t expect to have any kind of relationship with her after this. She is either emotionally out of control or trying desperately to spend what she considered her inheritance and not allow your family to have it or perhaps both.