To think that poor academic performance equals a life of misery?

[sudokumad]

Throughout my life I've struggled academically on and off. I understand the content (when not stressed) and I am able to perform well, but I find it hard to deal with problems in my personal life that it consumes me day to day so I become I'm unable to function.

My grades have been sporadic throughout GCSE and A level and I'm now trying to complete a degree, again with a mix of high and low Mark's bringing down. I doesnt help that I'm at home with a preschooler and her dad is no help- I do everything.

I have exams next month and I've been revising for 3 hours after I've put DD down for bed. I know I'm going to fail and I'm super stressed.

I really want to get a good job but with my background I'm not sure anyone will take me on with D grades and not even one A. I'm looking at a 2:2 or 3rd.

I'd love to get on to a graduate scheme in the civil service or in financial services. Lots of people have amazing academics and are super social with experience as treasurer or something in one of their uni societies. I don't do anything outside of parenting, except cleaning the home and organising my 4 year olds life.

I want to go somewhere and be someone. I just don't know if anyone would give me the chance.

I think you are focussing on jobs you've identified as being sort of "whizzy" and lucrative without considering if you would enjoy them or succeed at them.

If this sort of academic learning is a struggle and stressful for you, you might really hate those sorts of jobs as it would be more of the same.

What things do you enjoy, what skills come naturally to you? Is there anything you can do that you might be better suited to?

I was very academic. Have good qualifications and degree from a good uni. Unfortunately I made shit choices and am in a rubbish job that I hate wanting to get out. I think having direction, knowing what you want and working hard/sticking to it are more important and acing drive and confidence. Wishing you all the best.

My brother 'only' got a 2.2........batchelor of science in mechanical engineering to be precise.

It's served him pretty well, he got his first job by walking round a business park with his CV and has been employed solidly as an engineer for 25 years.

If you're determined you can achieve whatever you want to.

I know far more successful people who don't have a degree than do.

@zippyswife I’m similar and agree with everything you said.

We are quite wealthy and have very wealthy friends in our friendship group , around 2 thirds have gone to university and did very well and a third didn't and have still done extremely well ..

Wealthy people will always do well though. Unless you mean you're a high income earner, which is not the same thing as being wealthy.

I think a lot of people will say no, and fair play to you OP for doing what you’re doing. But generally I think you do need a good education behind you if you want to get on.
For me, a good education was the only way I could see I was going to get myself out of my depressing hometown, and those I left behind, who didn’t achieve academically, are still there.

My sister has an abysmal academic record, yet has excelled within corporate life. Conversely, I excelled academically and floundered in pressurised, corporate environments. I think personality and ambition contributes enormously towards 'success'. Having said that, although I'm poor, I'm far from miserable. Your attitude dictates how you feel about your position in life.

My husband and I are very lucky to come from well off family's papaya so are wealthy and have had and inheritance and have more to come from parents , my husband's a high earner although I was not , I was actually just a nanny as I loved children and that's what I wanted to do , I now am a sahm and help out charities for free , I'm hoping to retrain as a scbu nurse as I helped breastfeeding mum's at the hospital last year and loved it , this is definitely not a well paid job however I'm fortunate enough for that not to matter , I think I would have gone to university if I didn't have money anyway .. But I don't think this is the only way to go far .. X

I understand the content (when not stressed) and I am able to perform well, but I find it hard to deal with problems in my personal life that it consumes me day to day so I become I'm unable to function.

Academic performance isn't the only indicator of future career success. It's having a plan and being determined to succeed despite the obstacles that life throws at you.

If your academic success is important to you - then utilise every opportunity to gain good grades. I strongly suggest that you apply for extenuating circumstances in order to give yourself some more time to study.

I'd love to get on to a graduate scheme in the civil service or in financial services

I don't want to deter you but you are considering extremely competitive graduate schemes. Without the extracurricular activities to demonstrate other skills your application won't be as strong as other candidates (I'm not diminishing your role as a mother, being a parent is a super important skill).

Good luck with your exams and your future career

You can enter the Civil Service Fast Stream without having a degree qualification if you are already a civil servant. So you could just apply for a job with the civil service and once you have your foot in the door, apply for the the Fast Stream. The process itself is very competitive though and I'd question if you could cope with the stress and deadlines if you aren't able to with your current studies. You can move your way up through a civil service career without being a graduate.

Not as much as being lumbered with a 'partner' who seeks to drag you down and keep you in the kitchen rather than support you to fulfil your potential does.

I left school with mediocre exams and went on to earn a six figure salary. I quit in the end and now have a job I love which also gives me a great work life balance.

Sounds like the thing that matters most now is to concentrate and do the best you can for the exams. My DH got a 2:2 but earns v well (though not 6 figures) in a job that has regular hours. It is not only salary that matters - it is lifestyle, flexibility, stress level - especially if you have a child. Good luck!

Drive in life is crucial. If you are determined to give yourself your best life, that will help hugely.

Choosing a kind, loving, supportive partner, who wants the best for you, is the greatest barometer of contentment in life I believe.

Good luck

I failed my o levels, ended up getting a 2:1 from an unremarkable uni. But I've been determined to have a good standard of living - I've never needed to be a multi millionaire but I like my material goods holidays nice cars big house kids at private school. I've always maintained you need 2 out of 3 assets: intelligence, personality or drive. I completely believe what you put into life determines what you get out. You want more out of life you have to try harder

My brother spent way too much of his university life sleeping with every woman he came across, and ended up with a 2:2. In a tough subject at an excellent uni but still.

He’s now some kind of pensions/investment person who earns more than three times what I earn (teacher) as a base salary, then gets bonuses etc. It wouldn’t be my cup of tea, but he seems to enjoy his fancy cars and million pound house.

I genuinely think that once you get into the word of work, academic performance becomes less and less important and your personality/work ethic matter more.

Interesting. I think your perspective is the problem. Acceptance is key.

I've failed at most stages. I accepted that although not stupid I wasn't as bright, or didn't find it as easy, as many of my fellow students. And that's fine. Seriously, what difference does it make?

Hi there. Poor a levels and no degree here. Turned a hobby and passion that I had throughout my life into a job that I absolutely love and pays OK.