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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Does your dp/Dh not take photos of you?

58 replies

Mummypig2020 · 30/04/2020 07:26

I think I might be being emotional.

I absolutely hate how I look, no matter how much weight I lose I hate looking at myself in photos.

BUT
I have no photos of me and my Dc together that aren’t selfies.

I feel sad that he hasn’t taken photos of us doing things/having fun.

Not sure if it’s because Iv just seen a fb post to a friend from her husband saying happy birthday with all these great photos of her being a mummy that he’s clearly taken without her knowing.

:(

OP posts:
Minxmumma · 30/04/2020 07:29

You aren't alone. Mine is the same. We have hundreds of photos of him and the kids bit hardly any of me and the kids. We've talked about it but he never thinks about it or remembers.
Makes me incredibly sad some days.

LovingLola · 30/04/2020 07:29

Maybe he knows how much you hate how you look in photos.
So ask him to take some of you with the kids. Today.

Botherfreedays · 30/04/2020 07:42

Exactly the same, he doesn't bother but there's lots of photos I've taken of him and the children.
So I booked a photographer and spent a good four figure sum on photos.
I must do it again soon.

PippaPegg · 30/04/2020 07:44

Just tell him to.

I passive aggressively say "Capture the memories!" And pass him my phone.

He wouldn't take a single one otherwise and it took an MN thread to make me realise it was up to me to fix

Racheyg · 30/04/2020 07:48

Me and dh hard key ever take photos of each other unless we prompt each other. It's just not us.

We take tons of the kids though 😂

SpillTheTeaa · 30/04/2020 07:48

My DP is the same and it pisses me off. As soon as DS falls asleep on him or something he's like 'take a picture'. All my pictures are pretty much selfies and in all honesty I think it's a bit spiteful.

thegreenlight · 30/04/2020 07:48

My DH is the same! I told him that the children wouldn’t remember what I looked like if I died Grin he’s trying a bit harder but he’s still crap! I try to take candid photos but he doesn’t have a very good eye for it.

RandomSelection · 30/04/2020 07:53

My DH is the same, I'm always the one to take any photos though, he just doesn't think to take them unless I ask. Don't think he means any offence by it, it just doesn't cross his mind as it's something I tend to do... He hasn't taken a single photo with his phone and our camera broke about a year ago and we never replaced it so use my phone. Like you, occasionally when I see other people's photos I do feel a bit sad, I don't think there are any candid photos of my daughter and me, but hey ho, he's pretty much fab in most areas so I'll let him off this one! Wink

working5to9 · 30/04/2020 07:56

Same here! And if he does then it is always staged photos of us by a landmark or something. Never any of us just having fun.

MsSquiz · 30/04/2020 07:59

Yeah, my DH can't win. I'd love him to take more photos of me and DD, but in reality, if he did it without me knowing and then showed me them, I'd probably veto them all for how I look!

You say the photo was taken without your friend knowing, you don't know that. It's very easy to be lying with a baby and ask you partner to take a photo so it looks like you're asleep, or play with the kids and ask him to snap away

bettybattenburg · 30/04/2020 08:01

I have no dh/dp, there are very few photos of me. I think there is only one of me as an adult, maybe two.

StormBaby · 30/04/2020 08:03

Mine is the same and I have explicitly told him to do it and he still doesn't get it. He knows how much it upsets me. My mum passed away and after years of her running from the camera because of how she looked, we have very few photos. One of my children was 8 when she died and I dont have a single picture of them together.

lockdownbirthdayhelp · 30/04/2020 08:04

My dh tries to take photos all the time and I ask him not to.
I wonder if I will regret it in years to come.

AnPo · 30/04/2020 08:06

Me too! I've asked him to but he still doesn't bother Sad

Shoxfordian · 30/04/2020 08:07

My dh takes photos of me when we're on holiday and stuff. No dc

Ask him to do it more often

catwithnohat · 30/04/2020 08:07

Ditto, the number of pics of us as a family, or together, have fallen to zero since the kids grew up and my parents died (they drove a lot of occasions).

Goostacean · 30/04/2020 08:09

Mine too! It’s disappointing, especially when I’ve mentioned it explicitly several times.

chunkyrun · 30/04/2020 08:12

Is this a bloke thing? Soon as they do something cute together I'm taking pictures. My other half needs coercing

justanotherneighinparadise · 30/04/2020 08:12

My DP is well trained to never take any photos of me. Even if I’m feeling slim! I just hate every single one and delete them.

If it helps I have no photos of my mum and me growing up and I honestly never give it a second thought. Doesn’t bother me in the slightest. So don’t worry about your kids feeling sad about it. I can understand if it upsets you though!

RedskyAtnight · 30/04/2020 08:13

Oh dear! DH takes photos of me and the DC (and I don't like myself in photos and would rather he did't) but I very rarely take photos of him. I'm just not the sort of person that feels the need to take photos of every thing so it doesn't occur to me he might like some.
I think you need to ask if you want photos - chances are he's like me.

Amatteroftime · 30/04/2020 08:14

I think it's a bloke thing. I ask mine to take photos and remind him that I don't care what I look like in them, I want the memories. But I take a lot of him with our DD and there aren't as many of me.

DDIJ · 30/04/2020 08:16

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Mummyoflittledragon · 30/04/2020 08:21

Tell me about it. Same here. I have to ask mine and tell him how to do it. He’s useless at taking photos.

CoronaMoaner · 30/04/2020 08:22

Tell him to!
I have to tell my DH to. I don’t like how I look in the photos but I’m glad I have them.

HotCrossBungle · 30/04/2020 08:23

Same, it rarely occurs to him. I don't take it personally, it just doesn't cross his mind - I'm a few stone overweight (3+) but he was the same when I was slim.