AIBU that DS's school is not doing enough during these away from school days?

[Ohlife2020]

Honestly, I would not have thought to complain about it until into week 6 of the lockdown.

School has sent a pack of worksheet back home before the lockdown started - about 100 pages including writing topics, maths and some grammar learning. Then started from wk1, work/learning is sent through via Google Classroom every Mon, Wed, Fri. It covers maths, literacy, science, PE (with Joe Wicks), Computing (only once) and some other small subjects.

We initially found it overwhelming to keep up. But by wk6, it's getting clear that the school doesn't expect everyone to keep on track. They kept sending weekly emails to parents reassuring us that they understand homeschooling is stressful so take it easy. But when we hand in any work online, there's no feedback whatsoever. I've also heard other school having teachers ringing pupils to check progress or to have ZOOM calls to keep in touch with the children. His school has no intention to do either. They say "it might upset certain children"...

So literally, we are left alone to fend ourselves. The homeschooling has been going downhill, as his concentration and motivation are both suffering. I battled with him nearly everyday on nearly every single subject - he either didn't want to do anything else other than what he likes (e.g. reading non-fiction) or he felt too frustrated /hurt when I told him his work needed improvement. I realised I might have taken this too seriously, but he's not a self-motivated type. If you let him, he would be happy just do the minimal. So our relationship has suffered quite a bit. This makes me feel angry that the school has been doing so little.

Am I being unreasonable? They are teachers and it's their responsibility to keep the children on track or at least care about it?

Being disconnected from their teacher/school for such a long time and with no end to be seen in near future, I can't imagine what impact this gave to him underneath the surface.

I realised this is a bit long, probably most for a rant purely...as I feel I'm reaching the limit and cannot carry on like this. Exhausted and hurt...

My sisters 2 at private primary are taught a full day so my sister is able to work

Or more likely, being able to justify charging fees at this time when the curriculum has technically been suspended in state schools.

Yes think that’s a big part of it!

Op sounds like you are doing an amazing job. Don’t be too hard on yourself. All that plus no sleep sounds gruelling

If you look at the school's normal marking policy (which probably doesn't apply right now) it's unlikely it will say all work completed by every child has to be marked with extensive feedback.

Ours says once per fortnight. It wasn't my choice, or the teacher in the room next door, so it's certainly not up to parents!

It would be nice for children to have acknowledgement remotely, but it's taken a whole to get on top of the technology.

School has been closed for 19 days. If it had been open since 23rd March, all of my students would have had one piece of feedback in the last two weeks before the Easter break. Most would have had another during these last two weeks following the holiday. Some would still be waiting until I had chance this coming weekend.

@Wotsitsarecheesy My DCs secondary schools seem to be prioritising year groups. The school newsletter talks about all the work they are sending home and what a great job all the staff are doing. My y11 and y13 get nothing at all.

Year 11 and Year 13 have finished their studies. Their teachers are working like mad to calculate final grades for them in a way that hasn’t been done before. I’m not sure why you expect them to get any work?

(yes, I'd doing my job but I think school could have done a bit more or care a bit more).

What more do you want?

You're obviously very stressed and finding life tricky right now. However the teacher you are bashing may have the same or similar home situation. A little empathy towards them wouldn't go amiss.

Y11 and 13 are getting paid lip service at my place. No exam based work at all. If we know they are going to study the subject for A level or degree they've been provided with resources.

But @Hercwasonaroll why would Year 11 & 13 get exam-based work now? Exams aren’t happening this year.

Y11 and 13 are getting paid lip service at my place. No exam based work at all. If we know they are going to study the subject for A level or degree they've been provided with resources

That sounds entirely reasonable.

Exactly they shouldn't be getting any. Sorry Worded that badly in a rush.
Id expect most studnets don't need to be working. However if you know you're wanting to study a subject at A level it would be wise to do some work.

He's the year below my son

They had some things sent home at the beginning and they have log ons for hwb which the teachers put some work up on BUT the teacher also rang on Monday (rang each of the class) and said she can see he's been logging on and if he wants to do the work thats fine (and she'll set him more maths if he wants - he loves maths and has finished all of that and asked me for some one day) but if they don't want to do the work thats fine too.
The school will catch all the kids up when they reopen, but they are young, going through a weird situation and they want them to feel safe and happy - which is more important than any formal education.

😂😂 so your complaint,

1. you have work from school
2. the school don’t expect you to keep up with it I.e you can go at a pace that works for you,
3. you were given 100 pages of paper work at the beginning,

but you’re upset the teacher isn’t motivating your child in some way, whilst they’re inside your house? 😂😂😂 I need a lie down.

RE: zoom - check out other threads

@Beebie2, reply like this is not helpful. Being sarcastic doesn't make you wiser than anyone else. If you have good reasoning, feel free to drop the bomb like others did. If you don't have anything to provide, better not waste ink and time.

I confess I didn't read other "ranting" posts. I don't come to Mumsnet to check post. I posted this at 2:22am this morning after finally being able to put down the baby and finished the cleaning the lounge. I was tired and mentally exhausted and didn't want to rant about teachers in general, only wanted to understand if my expectation with my DS's school is too high.

After reading most of the posts, I came to the realisation that school has a lot to consider. My DS's situation may not (or certainly is not) representative to the vast majority. He also has things that some minority don't have. So school needs to balance all and treat everyone the same. Hence, their hands are tied up and they can't do this and that.

As my last reply said, I will explore different perspective for the coming months and relax about my expectation. His ADHD needs a structural framework for even emotionally regulated. So I don't think we could completely go with what he feels.

Why on earth were you cleaning the lounge at 2 o'clock in the morning?!
I wonder if setting unrealistic expectations for yourself is part of the problem here.

I mean this in the nicest possible way, but the best thing you can do for youself, your son and your baby is to back right off. You're massively overdoing it! I am a teacher, teaching online 4 days pw and have a (probably) ADHD year 2 at home. We're focusing on maths, a bit of topic work and outdoor exercise. If I tried to give DD critical feedback on her (woeful) literacy she'd have an utter meltdown, so I'm trying to do it sneakily by getting her to write letters and postcards and transcribe Taylor Swift lyrics.

Be kind to yourself. And fgs don't do housework when you could be sleeping!

He is Y3!!!! Thought you were going to say he was at secondary. The lack of feedback is annoying, but I think it partly depends on the system the school is using.

You have one compliant child. Try having multiple children. Or 2 key worker parents (no, we're not all frontline NHS staff, many of us can WFH) who are working shifts round each other while trying to get the DC to work. Relax and make sure he does some of each of the following each day:
Maths
Writing
Reading (if he likes nonfiction that's fine)
Exercise
An activity that involves interacting with someone else, that might be playing with toys or a board game or cooking or craft. Anything the pair of you enjoy together. And that's it.

@Phineyj, my hats off to you! The online classes must be tough, on top of a child of your own to take care of.

Yes, ADHD meltdown with their sensitive little heart. You spotted on.

We tried to focus on only reading 30 minutes to start with (which calms him down). Then a little maths and literacy at the end (as he hates it the most). It was all meant to be done in 2/3 hours before lunch with breaks/PE in between. Then he could have free afternoon to enjoy other things he likes of his choice.

But with ADHD's deteriorated focus everyday and the accumulation of the negative feeling of being pushed by me all the time all these weeks, it built up to we spent a sweaty one hour going nowhere. Tricky maths topics are difficult to swallow as he reacts too much when I "correct him" or keep calling back his attention which is all over the place most of the days from early morning. No, we haven't overworked and we have a schedule with only morning to do "serious stuff". We are just very very inefficient. If I let it be, next time it would spend half an hour just to pick up from where we left. So we ended up eating into afternoon time to finish what could have been done efficiently in the morning. Vicious circle.

He likes maths. But his short term memory is really poor. If we don't practise daily, he'd forget what's learned. So I hesitate to skip maths.

Then his writing is his weakest point of all. It equals to a 4 years old language/content. And he struggles to come up with ideas or more than basic vocabulary. On top of that, there's attitude issue too. He doesn't want me help him with ideas. He doesn't want to do the difficult work.

All these made the basic study really hard. With no end in sight for the school closure (aren't they talking about maybe only y6 could go back in June?), I hesitate to let go the whole core curriculums. It would be a lot harder for him to pick up than his friends after the long break because of his condition.

Anyway, I've read nearly every single post. I think I will back off a bit and find a compromising spot. He's not a bad kid and he wants to learn. If I can't rely on school to inspire him for the coming months, we will find a way to let his mind and his heart work together better somehow.

Oh, he sounds exactly like my DD! You will have good days and bad days. We had a terrible day on Monday. Better today.

DH is doing a lot of the 7 yo wrangling and my students are 16-18 and doing more work than normal (boredom?!) so you have it harder for sure.

[Flowers]

I'll try again:

There we go :-)

Oh wow, I can’t believe you are for real OP. I have 2 children in Y3 and one in Y6. Our school puts online two or three worksheets / a PowerPoint presentation and a letter to the kids each week telling them to read, asking how they are doing and explaining the worksheets. That’s it. No emailing anything back. No feedback. They have given us a list of websites we can use if we want including oak national academy and bbc bitesize. Why are you so stressed about your Y3 child ‘keeping up?’ Keeping up with what? All the children are in the same boat and there is nothing to keep up with right now. It’s about keeping kids happy, occupied, feeling safe and reassured during this difficult and strange time.
Teachers are busy with their own children and risking their lives to look after key workers children so we can all have shopping/ bin collections / medical assistance / water / electricity and numerous other necessities.
What they have given you I can assure you is far, far more than many people have been given during this time.
Let your kid read non fiction, let them play with Lego and give them some challenges/ use bob biddulph for online art lessons, use the interactive bbc websites. Make learning short and fun. Go on long walks and bike rides and enjoy nature. Collect or notice things from outside and talk about them and how things work, plants, rain, streams and rivers. Find and interesting bug and learn about it when you get in.
If your child doesn’t want to do set school work during this time, don’t force it. Stick to reading and some writing about things he / she does enjoy!

I have a year 3 DD and I do sympathise as she goes through phases when she just doesn't want to do any work! We had an awful day on Wednesday, she got upset, I got stressed and nothing much was achieved. Today I decided to just ease up, I let her choose one piece of work which was art and she was much happier with the pressure taken off her. Going forward I am going to try and relax about it and just see if she can do some chosen work in the mornings and then afternoons can be free reign.

Its not easy but I think we have to remember that it won't be forever and keep repeating that to yourself.

Home schooling issues and solutions for parents
Strategies and help from teachers:
docs.google.com/document/d/1akMy-6-7G6pKT9qp20t-Y2WG6kS9RvTQmeYZLVGsDU0/edit

Timetable for students to follow when at home:
docs.google.com/document/d/1jBEp3Hpoc3_uyV_-FDpy-slZD1xaM1V4Fi4vgnkDu7Q/edit

Hope this helps!