To tell my neighbour to STOP

[Helpmememe]

23:05 neighbours been doing DIY since early afternoon. For a few months now is he building the fucking Trojan horse and usually it ends about 8.
Lovely neighbour each time we see each other we don't have much conversation as he's not into the whole small talk kind of man, lives alone, has kids every now and then.
Don't know how to ask him to kindly NOT be drilling and hammering at 11pm at night, it's a terraced house so his walls are basically mine.
We both have kids so you'd think he'd have the consideration of kids sleeping!
It doesn't wake my kids but it keeps me awake and they get up at 6am!
I don't want to start a neighbour feud but don't think I can take this for however much longer he needs to finish his Noah's ark.

I was thinking of saying something like "Oh I've been hearing you've been busy around the house, big project?"

Why on earth can't you just add something about the noise? Otherwise he'll just think it's fine to crack on.

"Would you mind finishing your DIY by 8pm? I need to get the kids to bed." He's a parent. He'll get it.

It's difficult. If you live in a council house you can get the council to have a word with him but if it's your own house or privately rented then you might just have to ask him politely . I used to have really noisy inconsiderate neighbours in a previous ground floor flat I rented and I had trouble sleeping with noise that went on to 2am etc....I moved out in the end as it was affecting my nerves and problems sleeping. I moved to a top floor flat. It does sound like he is being completely inconsiderate. Most people expect maybe some noise from neighbours but not every day or late at night...that just is unacceptable.

Ask if you can help him before 9pm so he can stop earlier

You need to be direct, OP.

I wouldn't realise that you were making a pint about noise id yiu said you'd heard me and was it a big project.

Just be honest.

'hi - sorry to bother you. You probably don't realise how loud the work you're doing is and how rubbish our walls are.

Would it be possible to do the noisy work between' x and y' as the level of noise is affecting our sleep. I wouldn't normally say anything for odd days here and there, but this seems like a big project so I wanted to let you know. It's very noisy in our house.

Thanks.'

If you can't bring yourself to say it directly, then pop a note through the door or send a text

Good luck

If you speak then mention what is he building and can he maybe stop doing whatever earlier as your kids are hard to get back to sleep if woken

Just knock and speak to him nicely about it!

People usually respond in the manner of which they are being spoken to.

While you’re there, use it as a chance to have a bit of a chat and maybe invite him over for a drink or something once lockdowns over

Approach your neighbour and in a friendly way tell him how the noise is disturbing the children & you. He may be quite oblivious to how the noise is carrying. Hopefully he will take your comments on board and peace will reign. In these stressful times it is important we all keep a cool head. Hang in there and hopefully things will quieter down.

“I am sorry for the impersonal note, sad times.

I’m sure you aren’t aware but the noise from your DIY is carrying through to our house and keeping the kids awake / waking them up.

Would you mind downing tools at 8 please?

Thanks so much! Hope all is well with you and you’re getting through lockdown Ok”.

It’s not hard.

Put a polite note through - say you didn't want to knowck round due to social distancing and could he possibly...
My sons were gaming in a front bedroom until quite late - we are in a detatched house, when my neighbour asked if they could stop by 10pm as it disturbed her I was shocked that she could hear it - i had no idea that the sound would carry that far as I coouldn't hear it downstairs but I'm really glad that she let me know and I stopped it. Unless you tell him he might not know that it bothers you or even that you can hear it.

How does he know if you don't tell him about it... Grow a pair and be polite, he will soon stop if he knows!

Well I went round in the afternoon to knock on and there was no answer even though his car was in the drive. Also know he was home because heard him 10 mins before DIYing... not sure what to make of that but I'm going again tomorrow, I'm not a fan of posting a note signed or not signed because he might not understand the tone I mean in written. He hasn't done anything past 8pm since my post and never had done so really it could have been a one off, but still want to let him know so that's there isn't a next time...

He might have been in the shower. How about a note just asking for a quick word and for him to let you know when suits

If he keeps doing it, scream really loudly one night at 10.30/10.40, then apologise the next day and tell him you had a bad dream, that someone was banging down your door, trying to get into the house; the whole episode woke your kids, they are now terrified of banging and loud noises. I know you feel sorry for him, but you need to stop being so nice.
He shouldn't be disturbing anybody with noisy DIY so late.

Not all that easy sometimes! We have an aggressive neighbour, male and living alone - would be very wary of asking him to confine noise etc. By certain things he does and how he behaves, am sure he has a psychiatric illness. And having experience of this, an approach could well trigger off a violent reaction.