To tell my neighbour to STOP

[Helpmememe]

23:05 neighbours been doing DIY since early afternoon. For a few months now is he building the fucking Trojan horse and usually it ends about 8.
Lovely neighbour each time we see each other we don't have much conversation as he's not into the whole small talk kind of man, lives alone, has kids every now and then.
Don't know how to ask him to kindly NOT be drilling and hammering at 11pm at night, it's a terraced house so his walls are basically mine.
We both have kids so you'd think he'd have the consideration of kids sleeping!
It doesn't wake my kids but it keeps me awake and they get up at 6am!
I don't want to start a neighbour feud but don't think I can take this for however much longer he needs to finish his Noah's ark.

Yes true I need to man up if I want some sleep. I'll knock on (and stand back) after kids nap. PP is right, since we don't talk much anyways I've nothing to lose to be firm.

Polite but firm. Just check your tone of voice. I find starting with the upbeat hiya always helps

OP if he isn’t self aware enough to realise DIY at midnight is inconsiderate in the first place he is not going to pick up on your underlying meaning. Just say “Hi X, sounds like you have a really exciting diy project going. Can I just ask you to limit the noisy work between 8am and 8pm as these walls are so thin. Cheers”. Don’t tie yourself in knots unnecessarily OP.

I don't think that a man who thinks it is ok to be drilling and hammering at 11pm deserves to be asked nicely not to do so. What an inconsiderate twat!

Come on, people know well that they shouldn't do that.

Really selfish.

In an extremely businesslike manner, tell that he needs to follow the rules.

Extremely selfish.

Doing it when HIS children aren't about.🙄

When we had work done on our house, they had to down tools at 5 according to our local council guidelines. And when next door had work done, I would sometimes have to ask them to stop loud work if it was after 5, I cant believe you've let it him do it at all.

I'd leave it until , or if, it happens again. In which case go round at the time and ask go to stop.

I would just say 'I hope you don't mind me saying this as I don't want to fall out with a really good neighbour but the noise yesterday really disturbed the children'

Can you put a note through (polite) unsigned, saying the late night DIY is causing concern amongst the neighbours and if he could finish at 8pm that would be most appreciated? No, that sounds really aggressive, all the neighbours ganging up against him. It may be best to do a note because of CV, but make it individual, and friendly, make it clear it's the noise that's the problem, not him, and suggest he may not realise you can hear it.

Slight problem is that one of the things being discussed is to remove restrictions on the times building work can be done, as a way of "catching up" after the lockdown. So possibly best to do sooner rather than later.

There's laws regarding when you can do diy, varies by council but usually it's 8am until 9pm Monday to Friday 9-6 Saturday and 9-1 Sunday from memory where I used to live, not sure about this area

You need to nip this in the bud OP. We have a neighbour (single bloke as well) who did a self build extension for 3 long painful years at evenings and weekends. We made the mistake of not complaining at the outset as we thought it would only be a couple of months. As time went on, our complaints fell on deaf ears and the hours of work got longer. We now don't speak to said neighbour. I wouldn't advise putting anything in writing, just go round knock and explain. It shows you are not a pushover, some people have incredibly thick skins.

Sometimes these people think that as you haven't said anything then you don't have a problem with it.

A note would be a really shitty thing to do, Proper fce to face so you defuse what you are asking with nice body language and pleasant smiles, its a request not a complaint

You say he usually finishes at 8... It could be possible that he had an "emergency" that needed sorting before it got worse.

Like the time a pipe exploded in our bathroom at 10pm just as we were going to bed...cue banging to get wood off side of the bath (DH had glued it all together) to cap off the pipe so we could still use water in rest of the house.

Or the time years ago some of the artex ceiling collapsed in the spare room (luckily no-one was in there) we had to pull the rest down or risk it falling on someone or causing more damage.

However if he goes on later than 8 tonight then have a word with him ..he could be a cf in the making.

I think that if you say to him what you've posted on here, and sound apologetic, chances are that he'll take on board what you've told him. Otherwise, he probably won't realise how disturbing it is for you.

I do think it's easy for parents of older children or adults can very easily forget how draining it is
was for us when our children had disturbed nights/woke up early in the morning. My DD2 (now 8) was waking up at 5am for the best part of a year, at ages 2 and 3. Now they don't wake up early except on their birthdays and Christmas, and need reminding!

It's a case of needing to be diplomatic, decent people don't want to disturb their neighbours and will do what they can to oblige to mitigate the disturbance.

Please avoid saying the words "I'm sorry..." in any conversation with him about this. You are not sorry. It makes a person look feeble and placating, apologising when they shouldn't. Just be straight but very polite.
If anyone should be sorry it should be the man who is too dense or doesn't care (doubt anyone is that stupid so not giving a shit is more likely) that people can hear hammering and drilling late at night.

"Hi neighbour. I haven't been round earlier as I have been hoping that it was a quick one or two day project, but you doing loud DIY at night is really disturbing us and the kids. We'd really appreciate if you could keep it within 8am and 8pm (or whatever your local council noise laws are. Google them) in future. Thanks ever so much"

Don't know how to ask him to kindly NOT be drilling and hammering at 11pm at night, it's a terraced house so his walls are basically mine.

For God's sake, woman up!! Just tell him, plainly but kindly, that you can hear his noise as if it was in your own house, that it is anti-social and keeping you up, and ask him to agree to start at say 8am and finish at say 8am.

He MUST realise that you can hear him, if he has two brain cells...

I think you can knock and try the shit sandwich approach just say something like: Hello, how’s it going? I know you’re working on some projects. I really appreciate that usually you finish by 8, but last night was too late really. The kids and me were in bed and we can hear it all. Hope it’s ok if you can normally stop by 8 at the latest -is that reasonable? I appreciate having you as a good neighbour so hopefully we can agree this is alright. In your own words of course 😀

Don't be apologetic about asking him to be more considerate. You can say this without being confrontational and it may even be an opportunity to have a chat (at a distance, obsv) and get to know him better. He's either oblivious or thoughtless - make him aware it's unacceptable now or it will happen again.

A note would be a really shitty thing to do

Whereas using power tools and hammering at 11pm is not at all shitty?

You really don't need to be a dick about it like PP have suggested. A polite hey can you refrain from DIY after 9pm. We can hear it through the walls, sorry.

“Hi there! Would you mind finishing your DIY a bit earlier? It’s quite late and it’s waking up my children - typical terrace, the noise just carries right through! Thanks so much.”

The second time is when you are firmer. If he seems decent just have a polite conversation.

I was thinking of saying something like "Oh I've been hearing you've been busy around the house, big project?"

That's a really great way of saying you're aware he's doing some work without telling him it's bothering you remotely!

Just tell him (nicely) it's disturbing you and ask him to stop by a particular time.

Did you go round @Helpmememe

Any reasonable person knows not to do DIY at 6am or 11pm, he obviously knows this will be disturbing you in a terraced house especially (the walls are always paper thin). He’s an arsehole.

My next door neighbours landlord appeared at 8pm and started drilling at their front door (in a stair, opposite our door, eight next to my sons bedroom). I just hit the roof, he shit himself and hasn't done it since.