AIBU to think Nursery have treated us appallingly over Coronavirus?

[Rosiebrown1]

2 year old very happy in nursery for 18 months. Always pay on time and very laid back and supportive to business.
Slight issues with her being allowed to sleep for 2 and a half hours per day. I work long hours, am alone and find LO wired when I get home. Have communicated this over and over and it goes nowhere. She doesn’t sleep in the day with me.
A few days before lockdown announced, call from nursery that LO has developed high temperature. I leave work to collect. On way home received another call to say she is banned for two weeks because LO ‘has suspected Coronavirus.’
Collect her and am given bin bag of clothes etc and told to ‘burn’ or ‘boil wash.’ Cried at that point.
After ten minutes at home, LO vomits. Very quickly recovers normal temperature and eats and drinks as normal and is back to usual self within 2 hours. Obviously I checked hourly obs through the night.
Next day all completely normal as evening before..
Next morning I call Coronavirus hotline and GP to report and was informed this could not be Coronavirus as no other symptoms as LO recovered so quickly. Advised we don’t need to self isolate other than respecting nursery rule of abstaining for 72 hours after vomiting.
Informed nursery three times and asked when LO could return. No response. Called and they didn’t answer my calls although always do normally.
Eventually messaged them again to say I was disappointed and my GP had offered to speak with them to advise LO was not a risk. No response.
Eventually I messaged again and repeated I was disappointed and wanted to give notice.
I was so upset. Nursery replied immediately and said ‘sorry you feel disappointed, notice acknowledged and good luck for the future.’
On top of this, nursery owner and husband live in the same village as us.
Since this situation has occurred, nursery owner’s husband has been driving past us (LO in buggy and myself) whilst we are out on walks shouting filthy, loud and sexual insults. LO even said ‘ Mummy, why that shouting’?
It’s usually stuff like ‘MILF’ but he shouts the four words independently, particularly shouting the last word very loud. I think it’s done to intimidate me.
Should I just try to ignore? X

She had a fever so pretty sure that was either 7 or 14 day isolation at that point so in the respect the nursery was correct. Verbal abuse and harassment is not. Ring 101 and report.

You were both wrong about the fever, a symptomatic person is in isolation for 7 days. Family members for 14 unless they become unwell. But unless your child was going to drive herself to nursery, that's moot.

But his abuse needs reporting to the police. Record it on your phone if possible, but report it anyway

The nursery acted fine but not the husband. Try and get proof and report him. Don't ignore it though, that's disgusting behaviour.

Report to police re husbands behaviour. The temp thing is normal advice

Definitely also report him to Ofsted! I would not want to send my child to a nursery owned by such a vile man.

Agree with everyone else regarding the exclusion and the husband. Hope you manage to film and report him.

Nurseries often have a rest time during which all small children are encouraged to sleep. It’s a lot to expect them to keep yours awake all the time. Use a nursery and your child has to fit in with their routines. If you want individual treatment, use a willing childminder or nanny.

I agree with the others.
2 issues - the husband, report to the police and change nursery.
The temp - the nursery was right and followed guidelines at the time (and now). They were right not to take your dd back. I know lots of healthcare workers who had to do the 2 week isolation due to minor childhood illnesses (which clearly weren't Covid) including teething because that's the rules.

Wasn't expecting that ending! How bizarre? For someone who owns a local business to be so explicitly unprofessional and vulgar in public? Report the prick. And send an email to the business so his wife will see to tell him to stop harassing you. Gross individual. Consider it a lucky escape OP, I wouldn't want my child looked after by those weirdos!

The nursery were right to exclude but not right to ignore your phone calls. That’s is unprofessional.

What the husband is doing is harassment and should be reported to the police.

What the nursery did is absolutely correct. There is no way your GP could have confirmed that it wasn't covid without a test.

Report the husband. A completely separate matter.

I think nursery were right about the self isolation

I also think they were right about the sleep. Mine used to sleep much more at nursery especially 18m - 3 stage as they're so busy and it can be quite full on. I certainly wouldn't have wanted them to wake my child if she needed a 2 hour nap and wasn't waking naturally. Also you need to remember that, to an extent, if you want to dictate then you need to pay for a nanny.

But of course the husband is being unreasonable - sounds criminal. Agree with others saying try to film it.

Your GP was very irresponsible and I’m very surprised at them ignoring guidelines telling people it couldn’t be coronavirus when the guidance was to isolate with ANY of the symptoms. The nursery is fine.
The husband is not, report him to police for harrassment.

Nursery were right about the exclusion period. We're in a pandemic so it's not ok for you to try to get your daughter exempted from rules that are there to protect everyone.
I expect nursery were pretty miffed about you trying to send her back given the circumstances!

The issue with the husband abusing/harassing you is separate and I agree with everyone else, you should report to the police.

Of course the nursery wasn't right - they might have been justified in asking you to stay off but they shouldn't have just ignored you. And telling you to burn/boil clothes is ridiculous - young children get temperatures all the time. My friends baby had a fever around that time and she ended up seeing a GP who told her it was due to something else so she didn't need to isolate.

Agree with everyone else. Two separate issues

The husband is bang out of order and you should report him for harassment

But the nursery were right - they were following government guidelines

Wrote a nasty review about this business, I’m sure there will be more who have experienced this with him. Report to the police too. Try to record it on your phone as evidence. If you get evidence & he’s prosecuted, he won’t have a business much longer! Go girl

So the husband of the owner of the nursery that your dc went to for 18 months has taken to driving past you shouting out 'Mother I'd like to fuck' and other abusive and sexual comments?

Try to recall how many incidents, when and where and give this information to the police.

And also have your phone ready to either video or record next time you go out to offer concrete evidence.

It sounds awful - are you trying to wfh with a toddler around?

What a disgusting man.

Separate as everyone has said. You need to report him. There's nothing to say you shouldn't or can't.

Your DD should not have been returning to nursery after 72 hours but

1. The nursery staff ignoring you was very rude and unprofessional giving that you pay them a lot of money.
2. That man is disgusting. Try and record him and take it to the police ASAP. Do not stand for that.

Try not to let him see you recording him OP, as you want to catch him in the act. I’d actually record a couple of incidents, before reporting, so you can show a pattern of abuse, so he can’t worm his way out of it. Make a copy, before you give the phone to the police then, when the police investigation is over, I’d put the dirty bastards behaviour on Facebook.

Totally was not expecting that end, how bizarre.

Agree its 2 separate issues & the nursery were within their rights to not allow your child back for the isolation period. Although they haven't acted great by ignoring you.

Try to film the creep if you can and report him to the police!

Our family had issues with our nursery of a similar nature. They then shut and we haven't heard from them since only to ask us to sign a petition to get more money from the government. They owe me money for breakfast and after school club, didn't open for key workers and made us exceptionally difficult for us to take our 30 hours to a childminder taking keyworker children. I kind of hope we don't go back now because I'm done with them.

Firstly I’d be thankful you got your child out of there - they sound unhinged.

Secondly, agree with try to film the disgusting coward or at the very least report him anyway. Tell the police everything that has happened and write it all down. Appalling behaviour!

In your shoes, I would keep notes of every time the husband calls out to you, film it at least once, then email the nursery to advise you have a record of each time the husband has called out to you vulgarly, have recorded it, and if it happens again, you will be turning those records and the recording over to the police.

As you live in a village, in your shoes, I probably wouldn't want to report it directly to the police without giving him a chance to rectify his highly inappropriate behaviour. Knowing you have recorded evidence, and the threat of a police report, should be enough to dissuade such events in the future.

It is an issue for Ofsted (and the police). If the husband shouts abuse at you publicly because his wife told him about the situation then she breached confidentiality. If she's encouraged him to do that that's serious issue. If the two things are completely unrelated and he's just a horrible man then only go to the police.