To think even 'normal' families are struggling

[PierceHawthornesSexDungeon]

I say 'normal' with tongue firmly in cheek but I'm referring to families where there is no element of step relationship following parental split.

Lockdown is tough on everyone I'm sure but I do worry that my DC and my DH are struggling as my children aren't his and lockdown is highlighting issues/tensions that we aren't usually aware of.

We've all lived together for a good few years now and usually rub along fine. We're shielding due to me and one DC having serious health conditions so my DH hasn't had his own DC round since we went on full lockdown. Before I get flamed for this, it was agreed by DH and his ex as the best option for all and his ex is happier the children are with her full time at the moment. But of course my DH is missing his DC horribly despite speaking to them every day.

My own DC do not see their dad at the moment as a result of alcoholism and a court order.

Normally we never fall out as a family. Me and DH rarely argue and he supports me and the children in every possible way, doing the majority of the housework and cooking. But my DC are taking things he says the wrong way and he is finding them a bit more trying than he would usually, just down to the fact we are all at home all day every day and there's no break apart from if we take ourselves off to be alone for a bit ie he might go and watch tv in our room for an hour or I'll have a long bath.

I suppose I just imagine families without any step aspect are getting along great and this concerns me for our future. But then again we've never been in such intense proximity before and with added stresses of trying to WFH, homeschool, worry about catching covid and missing the DSC.

So AIBU to think all families are feeling the tension or is ours down to the family dynamic?

I've NC for this due to outing stuff

We are a "normal" family and are exactly the same, everybody under each other's feet constantly, it's bound to happen to some degree, you're not the only ones

Oh no honey....Everyone is feeling this way even those who are not living under the stringent lockdown in the UK

I own a holiday cottage next door and my H is living and working in it. We have lunch and dinner together and the children stay with him at the weekend. I do all the cooking in both houses. I think if we were locked down in the same house. We're likely to officially separate soon but if we'd of had to lockdown in the same house it'd of been awful that's without step issues.

I think it is hard on everyone. DS nearly got strangled over a maths problem he couldn't answer yesterday, when DH tried to help him, and got his head bitten off.

Nuclear family here. Everyone is a bit irritable and depressed. I think it’s normal.

My dp isn't my dc's dad, we've lived together for 18 months and we aren't struggling in the slightest. He's taken the lead with most of the educational and childcare aspect of "lockdown".
There's no tension here.

I was just thinking, my abnormal family is managing this fantastically well. For my lot on the spectrum; people, socialising, working with others, the noise, the bumping and touching on public transport...it’s stressful and difficult.
Now it’s all stopped. All they have to do us stay at home, keep the rules, stay 2m away from everyone, not make idle chitchat and work on their own specialities. Even the roads and the skies are quiet.
It suits them perfectly.
Most of the other families, couples and individuals I know are finding everything a lot harder than we are, which is why I’m only admitting it on an anonymous forum.

We're finding it tough, especially lately. It was OK at first, even quite nice to have plenty of time together without stressing too much about work. But now we're getting fed up with each other, I'm finding it hard to motivate myself to do anything constructive (turns out I wasn't kidding when I said after a month or two 'brushing teeth' would become a key achievement for the day) and we need to find some way of forcing a change. Just not sure how, given the restrictions.

Can absolutely understand why some relationships will fail in these circumstances; it's hard for everyone.

It is so hard. Both DH and one of my sons are autistic and they are both obsessed with this virus and the lockdown. They watch videos of doctors and analyse graphs....it's too much! I feel so irritated by them that I am walking the dog for hours in end and then burying myself in work.

Everyone I know (regardless of their set-up) is struggling. There’s no end in sight and no break from the kids so it’s intense. We’re all getting snappy!

Just to clarify..I KNOW they can't help it, which is why I take myself off. But it is hard.

We are a 'normal' family. 2 of my children have autism but other than that we're standard. Me and dh feel like we're getting on better. I'm whf and dh is furloughed. Dh doing housework, meals, organising the two lazy ones out of the 5 children. (3 of them can organise themselves). It's working well. I thinks it's because we haven't got the outside pressures. And because dh - who always did his fair share - twigged quickly that he needed to be the house husband.

We're a 'normal' family, 2 parents, 4 children, I'm pregnant, and we're all loving it. I don't identify with the struggles lots of others seem to be having, and that may well be down to our lifestyle in general. Obviously we have the familiar bickering between children, but that's just life, not lockdown life.

We are a 'normal' family. We are not struggling if I am honest.

Still long for normality though.

@PierceHawthornesSexDungeon

No such thing as a "normal" family, OP.

We're the traditional nuclear family, and we're struggling :

• My DD (11) breaks down about every three days.
• My DS (15) is sulky, and indolent by turns.
• I find myself welling up at odd times and wake up every few mornings at 3 AM and cannot get back to sleep without meds because my mind will not shut up! *My DH is holding up fairly well, but he's always been super laid-back. He does rage about politics, though, and very upset that the "goalposts" of restrictions in place keep getting moved (US).

The kids and I get physical activity daily, but this is definitely wearing. We are also getting snappy.

Yesterday, I broke into tears because while I've tried so hard to be a "Mary Poppins" mum, I often feel like I'm "Attila the Mum"!

Don’t be fooled by all the idyllic pond dipping, finger painting, cookie baking shit on SM, I suspect it bears no resemblance to reality.

Well after work yesterday when one child was on ipad and other watching tv and no one would talk to me outside after work o had a breakdown as felt I was not wanted gosh knows why was okay after a walk. Today however I've had a distanced walk with my mum whom I havent seen on weeks shes 57 and much happier husband bk to work tuesday after been of on leave thank God

We have it fairly easy. DH is furloughed and does loads of cooking, housework, diy. DCs are 1 and 4 and quite happy at home and exploring locally. I am still getting irritated by mundane stuff. I know it's silly but when you aren't getting much space it is tough.

Hmmm we’re “normal” but we only have one child. This decision was based on being surrounded by extended family and cousins and a great community. Now we can’t mix with them it’s a whole different ball game. If we’d known this was what life might be like we’d have had 2 or 3 children. Obviously.

Have a read of this OP, so much of this resonated with me tonight. I have a great DH at home who more than pulls his weight, DD 14 & DS 9 getting on quite well but it’s still damned hard.

www.facebook.com/137564723312894/posts/972845823118109/

You need to plan time apart adults go for a walk on your own.

We’re actually more relaxed and getting on better than usual, just because there’s no rushing around or stressing to get people everywhere. Being at home suits us, but obviously this won’t be the same for everyone.

We’re a ‘normal’ family and doing ok, but the DC are very young (6, 4 and 1) so not really the age for ‘tension’ really. I reckon it would be more stressful with teens.

Normal family here with lots of up and downs, DH is normally chilled but is a bit more irritable with the kids than normal, eldest 5 is VERY emotional most days, youngest 3 is being her shadow constantly which is driving her nuts or she is loving it in equal measure. I am constantly stressed trying to do everything.

Both of us are working from home, I am teaching from home which personally a lot harder for me than normal teaching, plus as I am the teacher I leading the home schooling being set from school and giving extras to keep them interested - it naturally comes to me so I don't mind but the mental load is killing me slowly.

I know I am struggling and trying hard to not let it impact on everyone else but we are all a bit short tempered here.

My family are doing okay- nuclear family. Husband, 3yo DD and 1yo DS. We mostly are doing really well, but I am finding DD playing up for DH a lot and he is very quick to temper in the evenings after he's been working all day. I think it's perfectly normal tbh. It's not normal to spend 24/7 with anyone.