To think this is enough food for a 2 year old?

[Dranktoomuchpepsi]

DH is a bit worried about DS's diet. He doesn't really eat very much compared to other toddlers, it seems. He's gotten fussy recently! Use to eat everything given to him.

Today he's had:

Breakfast: Two slices of toast with butter. It is usually peanut butter. All eaten.

Snack: Handful of cheese. Most ended up on the floor. Ate one bit. Some pineapple - eaten. A multivitamin bear.

Lunch: Pasta with cheese. Eaten.

Dinner: 2 Weetbix with strawberry soya milk. All eaten.

Is this enough? We don't give a proper 'meal' at dinnertime because it NEVER eats. DH is really really worried.

DS is in 12 to 18 months clothes and he's 2.5. He is being investigated for height but doctor says it just may be genetic (both my grandads jockies), yet less likely since DH is 6 foot 3.

He does also get breastmilk but they're short feeds, not frequent and don't seem to impact appetite.

He was a brilliant eater before

Things like beans, vegetarian meats, etc, all get thrown and rejected. He won't eat them and has become so so fussy!

It sounds like enough food to me. I suppose it depends on portion size but a bowl of pasta is very filling. Also if he is small he may need less food than the average child his age. Personally I would continue offering him a selection of different foods, what you eat, and try not to stress if it doesn't always get eaten. However that is obviously complicated by the suspected asd. I think the best thing to do Is try to get the advice of a dietician, particularly if he gets a diagnosis.

I don't know if this is helpful but I had heard that vegetarians or vegan children are ever so slightly shorter than omnivore ones. So i did i google search and there is a doctor who has taken all the studies done on vegan children and reached that conclusion from all the evidence
www.researchgate.net/publication/318135128_The_impact_of_vegan_diet_on_health_and_growth_of_children_and_adolescents_-_Literature_review
Although vegan is not the same as vegetarian so just thought i would post anyway.

Why would you restrict his diet like this? Madness. Let him try a bit of everything and see what he likes to eat. Meats, fish, eggs

Because his dad won't touch or allow meat, and giving him meat would cause an uproar. It just won't happen. He is 100% dead set against him eating meat

Tsub He isn't vegan though. And has been tiny since about 3 months when he stopped really gaining weight, so before food. His cousins are vegetarian too and are as big as balldozers. Thinking about it they are offered a lot of stuff but would only really agree to stodgy blandness like cheesy pasta, lasagna etc

Please don't go "tough love" with him. That will damage his relationship with food.

@CantKeepSecrets It's is concerning that he has no meat and can't use cutlery but judging by your responses it seems you won't hear it.

Judgemental much! My dd wouldn't use cutlery until she was 9. She would eat with her fingers because that way she could feel the heat of the food (even though she had never been burnt by food) and the texture, for her it was a huge sensory thing. She has been using cutlery for a while now, but it took a lot to get her to trust me re heat and texture. Even now, if she tries new food, she will use her fingers as default.

Ignore @Herpesfreesince03, they have no idea how hard this can be, and their comment isn't helpful.

@ozymandiusking I don't think the child needs breast milk at this age. He should be having full cream cows milk. Read the thread, op has justified this choice many times.

Why he has to use his fingers, I don't know, what's wrong with a spoon and fork. Mine were using a knife and fork at three. Yawn! Do you not know that kids are different, and if he is ASD then he may have low muscle tone and/or lack gross and fine motor skills.

Thank you to those with the tips. Will be buying smoothies, avacadoes, eggs (can never find any), pear and other bits.

Forgot to say, he rejects banana now but will accept watermelon... Not the best of fruits but okay.

Also forgot to say we offer Yoghurt daily and they are forever wasted We add things like chia seeds etc, won't eat eat. Won't eat Yoghurt now without seeds either

Me and my partner are both vegan (due to many reasons) and as much as I understand how your husband my feel I don’t agree with choosing a diet for your child without them understanding/consenting.

My daughter is the same age as your little boy and has at least one meat meal a day and plenty of eggs, cheese and milk as that is what she needs to thrive 😩

I would broach the subject with your hue and and just try him with some fish ( my daughter has homemade ones so we can source ethically acceptable products and free range chicken (from local farm so know it is definitely free range).

Why doesn't he have cows milk? Sorry if I missed it, I just saw about the soya. A balanced veggie diet is possible, but not with meat replacements etc, they are so salty and processed. Things suggested such as chickpea curries etc are fab. If your DH is so adamant about a veg diet, he should be helping to formulate balanced meals which contain more protein and essential fats etc, granted, it won't magic the eating, but what he is being offered doesn't contain enough at all.

I honestly don't think it's uncommon for 2.5 year olds to eat not much but 'stodgy blandness'. My two have both gone through that stage with differences - ds has always done better with veg and dd with fruit and ds (just turned 4) is now a very good eater. If you hadn't mentioned the suspected asd I would say his diet was normal and actually quite varied. But you are obviously concerned by his growth and some behaviours so seems right to pursue a diagnosis so you can hopefully gain more support. He may well just be a short child as well, particularly as you say both your grandads were short. My dh is 6.4 and was very small until he turned 15.

My daughter is the same age as your little boy and has at least one meat meal a day and plenty of eggs, cheese and milk as that is what she needs to thrive 😩

But she could thrive on a veggie diet. Nobody needs meat

Both my DS are autistic and have had food regressions at various points - this is very common. One went from being an amazing eater up to age 3 then refused all protein foods til 5and he has just started to broaden out what he eats again. The other is similar.

A pp is right when they say that feeding kids with SEN is a whole different ball game. Ignore posters who are being snotty about cutlery or saying 'just give him what you eat' - this doesn't work.

Our tactic following food regressions is to basically give them what they like but then try to reintroduce new foods slowly alongside food they like.

It will get better OP but it is really hard and such an emotive subject!

I think the vegetarian bit is not a problem in itself - my children have been bought up vegetarian and we've not had any issues. Does he like dipping? Hummus with breadsticks or veggie sticks? Pulses are your friend here - a simple red lentil bolognese made out of lentils, onions, grated carrot, stock and a few herbs has always been well enjoyed by my children on their pasta. You could try a simple tagine recipe too - buy ras el hanout and put a bit into a tomato based sauce with chickpeas - I was surprised when my DC both loved this. I would really encourage you to try and get him to eat more pulse based meals if you are a veggie - it's so important for the protein, especially if he isn't having milk.

Try lots of different ways with eggs - My DS only really likes them scrambled, but my DD loved poached eggs, and dippy boiled eggs.

Well you and her specialist disagree!

I would honestly recommend not restricting your child’s diet based on your husbands ideals. It’s not fair and could be restrictive in the future

I'm not sure there's a parent out there at some point hasn't worried about their child's diet or what they are eating. Listing what he's has I wouldn't be worried.

If you look at it another way at that age toddlers need between 1000 to 1400 calories a day. So if you're really worried you could do a calorie count (loads of free apps that will do this)... but assuming standard portion sizes then his breakfast is about 300 cal, snack 160, lunch 350 and his dinner about 200.... now I've taken some assumptions there but seems to be getting enough calories and a good amount of carbohydrates and protein.

As for the fussiness that will come and go but you might find getting him to prepare a meal (I suggest snack rather than main meal) might make him more interested in different things.

I read somewhere that all kids go through a fussy stage around 2. It goes back to caveman days when they would start being more independent and it was to stop them poisoning themselves with berries etc when they wander away from parents. Don't know if it's true but it makes sense to me. I would keep a food diary for a week and then speak to your health visitor. Generally they look at what a child is eating over a week not a day because days can vary so much. It's probably mostly due to a phase. It sounds like you need support though. We're raising own son veggie and he's 19 months. Houmous, eggs, beans, lentils, nut spreads, cheese, yoghurt are all good sources of protein.

As a person who is very sensitive to food texture, I'd starve on a vegetarian diet. I despise beans and lentils due to their texture. Always have done since I was a little kid. I'd prefer never to eat than to eat either of those.

Even vegetables have to be cut in the right direction or I won't eat them (changes the texture).

So perhaps play around with texture. Cut foods differently to see if he has a preference. I despise powdery and mushy foods. I don't like big chunks, prefer slices.

He's probably not trusting the yoghurts won't have those awful seeds in. Some yoghurts also have a revolting tang and aftertaste.

I'd buy a yoghurt you normally eat and just put a little bit on his plate so it isn't wasted and he can assess for added nasties before trying.

Also I was raised a veggie from birth, I choose to start eating meat in my 20s, but was a very healthy, slim child and teen. My mum was very into home cooking though and gave us a very varied diet with lots of beans and pulses, she was very anti convenience foods and meat replacements. You probably just have to be a bit more imaginative with planning meals. If it's so important to your husband does he plan and cook a wide variety of veggie meals?

OP, I know you say he doesn’t communicate but does he have any understanding? Could you give him the choice of two things you want him to eat? Could he point to what he wants?

You keep saying no one needs meat and a veggie diet is perfectly balanced - I agree, I am vegetarian myself and eat a much more varied and healthy diet than some meat eaters. However, if you have a fussy child who's eating a very limited diet you need to consider introducing meat. From what you listed it seems he's not eating fruit or veg. My DS is the same. He's painfully thin and underweight. He won't touch vegetables and only eats apple and dried fruit. He will have smoothies thankfully. I'd love it if he was vegetarian but his health has to come first. I cook him free range chicken and a bit of lamb, very occasionally pork. If he didn't eat these things his diet would be extremely limited. I'm a very healthy vegetarian because I eat mountains of vegetable, pulses etc. I wouldn't be so healthy if I didn't eat those things. I know that by giving my son a little meat now and then he's getting vitamins and minerals he would otherwise be lacking. My daughter does eat a vegetarian diet (her choice not mine) but because she eats lots of fruit and vegetables and is a healthy weight, I don't worry.

Jesus Christ OP. I'm so sorry you've had to read through such horrid, judgemental and completely ignorant posts. I am veggie (have been since birth and am now 5foot 6 and very healthy!) and my daughter is vege too. Also suspected ASD.
We had the same issue, ate lots of things until around 2 and then just completely restricted. What I found to work:
Don't make food a battle, it can be hard not to get frustrated when something is wasted but he will sense the tension and it will make his relationship with food worse.
Explore food during play. Sensory issues related to food can be complicated and can change frequently. What was 'safe' last week might be off the table this week. Let him play with dry and cooked pasta and spaghetti. Add sauces and ketchup. Play with custard etc. If he finds the wet stuff too much, start dry and work your way slowly towards the wet. Absolutely no pressure to eat while playing, but if he does, then that's great! Don't make a huge deal about it though, just say something like 'oh pasta is yummy isn't it'.
Flashcards to choose food. We had a non verbal toddler until she was around 3. It's hard and people who haven't been through it won't understand how hard it can be. Get flashcards made with pics of his faves and some new foods and let him choose what he'd like to eat. If he won't interact with you, leave him alone with the cards and see what happens. He may bring one to you or play with one more than the others. Also, have you tried any makaton signing? One of the first signs DD used was food to tell us she was hungry.
I can see you're already giving a vitamin which is great. Keep that up.
I think the main advice I can give is don't stress too much. Introduce new foods even if you know he won't eat them. If they end up on the floor then just tidy it up, no telling off or being frustrated. Try to eat the same thing at the same time.
I hope something works, it can be so hard and stressful when your child won't eat but it sounds like you're doing a great job and he loves you a lot. Good luck.

Jesus Christ OP. I'm so sorry you've had to read through such horrid, judgemental and completely ignorant posts. I am veggie (have been since birth and am now 5foot 6 and very healthy!) and my daughter is vege too. Also suspected ASD.
We had the same issue, ate lots of things until around 2 and then just completely restricted. What I found to work:
Don't make food a battle, it can be hard not to get frustrated when something is wasted but he will sense the tension and it will make his relationship with food worse.
Explore food during play. Sensory issues related to food can be complicated and can change frequently. What was 'safe' last week might be off the table this week. Let him play with dry and cooked pasta and spaghetti. Add sauces and ketchup. Play with custard etc. If he finds the wet stuff too much, start dry and work your way slowly towards the wet. Absolutely no pressure to eat while playing, but if he does, then that's great! Don't make a huge deal about it though, just say something like 'oh pasta is yummy isn't it'.
Flashcards to choose food. We had a non verbal toddler until she was around 3. It's hard and people who haven't been through it won't understand how hard it can be. Get flashcards made with pics of his faves and some new foods and let him choose what he'd like to eat. If he won't interact with you, leave him alone with the cards and see what happens. He may bring one to you or play with one more than the others. Also, have you tried any makaton signing? One of the first signs DD used was food to tell us she was hungry.
I can see you're already giving a vitamin which is great. Keep that up.
I think the main advice I can give is don't stress too much. Introduce new foods even if you know he won't eat them. If they end up on the floor then just tidy it up, no telling off or being frustrated. Try to eat the same thing at the same time.
I hope something works, it can be so hard and stressful when your child won't eat but it sounds like you're doing a great job and he loves you a lot. Good luck.

This is really bad, really worrying. But once you told us he had ASD, it made more sense.

I hope you get this sorted.

Vegetarian and vegan diets can be healthy but the list you gave as an example was not exactly full of fruit, veg or protein sources. I don’t think a bit of pineapple is ok really for a balanced diet. If he eats well at breakfast, could you start adding more things in there? Adding in meat may well be a step too far for your dh but would fish be an option?

Even aside the asd, I think children can get fussier from around 21/2. My 3yo is much fussier than the 13m old. For example, on Friday night they had the following for dinner: Sweet Potato fries with Chickpeas in tomato sauce and garlic. However, the baby had a separate portion which included mushrooms and onions as the 3yo won’t eat either.

This is really bad, really worrying
No it's not, what a silly thing to say. It's not ideal, but the kid is 2 not 12. There are SO many threads on fussy eating at that age. Kid ate peanut butter on toast, a bit of cheese and pasta, and two weetabix that day as well as some breast milk- I wouldn't call it really bad or really worrying. So sensationalist.

@Dranktoomuchpepsi But she could thrive on a veggie diet. Nobody needs meat

The point is, op...is that your son IS NOT thriving on vege diet, is he? This is people are saying meat/cheese/eggs etc...

Everyone could thrive, your son is not. Quite simply...otherwise you would not be here.