To think this is enough food for a 2 year old?

[Dranktoomuchpepsi]

DH is a bit worried about DS's diet. He doesn't really eat very much compared to other toddlers, it seems. He's gotten fussy recently! Use to eat everything given to him.

Today he's had:

Breakfast: Two slices of toast with butter. It is usually peanut butter. All eaten.

Snack: Handful of cheese. Most ended up on the floor. Ate one bit. Some pineapple - eaten. A multivitamin bear.

Lunch: Pasta with cheese. Eaten.

Dinner: 2 Weetbix with strawberry soya milk. All eaten.

Is this enough? We don't give a proper 'meal' at dinnertime because it NEVER eats. DH is really really worried.

DS is in 12 to 18 months clothes and he's 2.5. He is being investigated for height but doctor says it just may be genetic (both my grandads jockies), yet less likely since DH is 6 foot 3.

He does also get breastmilk but they're short feeds, not frequent and don't seem to impact appetite.

He was a brilliant eater before

Things like beans, vegetarian meats, etc, all get thrown and rejected. He won't eat them and has become so so fussy!

I've not RTFT (sacrilege, I know!) But I was intrigued as to why it was now 10 pages!

I think the food you listed is enough. We are veggie. All 3 of my girls are strong and healthy. They have all gone through stages of not eating as they previously have. My middle child (7) recently went through a stage of not eating fruit even though mine all eat tonnes of it. She is now back eating loads of it again. My youngest (5) wont eat peas at the moment but I'm not worried she will again at some point. I still offer these things and at some point they go back to usual. Dont stress.

I have three children with ASD, one of which was particuarly difficult regarding food. He also did not communicate, verbally or otherwise, until he was about 6 or 7. Should also say they were adopted as babies/toddlers and so obviously no chance of breast feeding. And had suffered from neglect in his birth family so meals were something that was new to him. He had lots of full fat cow's milk. I know you have tried, or are unable to try, many of other people's suggestions, so you may have tried the following also. But it did work for us.

I recognise everything you say and remember the throwing on the floor stage. However, this was one of things we did make an issue of. He was told off (even if he did not seem to understand) for throwing food, and that included throwing any cutlery. What we began to discover was his food issues were centred around colour. He was now nearly 30 btw, and still, in the main, is the same with colour. He would only taste food if it was brown, and any foods of any other colour were rejected (well more than rejected, he was frightened of). So at first anything that wasn't brown had to be blended into a brown sauces/gravy which he would eat. The other thing was he always had similar to what us and his siblings had, was always offered the same as them regarding snacks, minus the colourful items. With new food (providing it was brown) was added to the side of the plate/bowl and he was not allowed to throw it but could ignore it or put it to one side. This was for day after day after day, with no communication to let us know if we were doing the right thing, and eventually he would become familiar and he may try them...and when he did we found it was better not to directly praise him or comment on it. He always sat with us all for mealtimes and always had what we had (minus the colour) and we tried to not fall into the trap of giving him what we knew he would eat eg no cereal or sandwiches at dinner time. And then he, over a period of months, and in some cases years, gradually tried items that weren't brown, and had limited success with white or orange foods. He always had a high protein diet as meat of course is brown, and because he gradually would accept white items he would also eat plenty of carbs. I admit it was frustrating and sometimes I dreaded mealtimes, but that was my issue not his, and I found it was important not to let my frustration show as although he did not seem aware of his surroundings I do think he could pick up on atmosphere. As I say, I apologise if you have tried this already but had not seen others mention colour.

My DS is 22 months and has a massive phobia of food. He developed a cough at around 7 months and it's only recently starting to subside, suspected floppy larynx he has a slight development delay due to being premature and is seeing speech and language about his eating

They have told me to give me what I know he will eat for now, as he gains confidence and becomes less afraid start introducing new things which we recently have started doing. The therapist also explained that a child will need to try a food upto 14 times before their taste buds actually decide wether they like it or not

Meal times had become awful in our house, in fact I dreaded them and DS would cry as soon as the high chair came out. We have now decided not to let it stress us out anymore, he will eat if he is hungry and the more anxious me and DH are the more anxious DS will be

We took him shopping before lockdown and got him a sort of booster seat that straps to the dining chair so he sits like a big boy at the table with us. We let him pick all new cups, plates and cutlery. I've started making smoothies to get the fruit and veg in and I blend veg into his pasta sauces too

I know you said he wouldn't use a fork but how I stared with a fork was put the food on 2-3 forks on the table and he would have a try, he still hasn't quite got the hang of using the fork to pick up the food himself but if I put it on for him he will eat off it

Yesterday he had

Breakfast- 1 weetabix with blueberries and banana mashed up into it and 1 round of fruit toast (ate all toast and half weetabix)

Snack- yogurt (he has medication in this)
(Ate all)

Lunch- ham and cheese sandwich with cucumber sticks (ate all sandwich and tried the cucumber stick but Didn't eat a full one)

Snack- raspberry, spinach and banana smoothie and a few rice cakes (ate and drank all)

Dinner- sweet potato curry with rice and naan bread (ate all bread and had a few spoons of curry)

He also has a cup of milk with breakfast and one before bed

He has water the rest of the day

He went through a stage of throwing food and I would just come down to his level and tell him no, take away the food then place him in his cot for a few minutes so he learned i didn't like his behaviour. It took about 2 weeks of doing this daily but he now just pushes his plate away if he doesn't want it

I've got 2 SGA children (small for gestational age). We saw a pead endocrine dr. Which if he's got growth issues. You'll see one. Maternal height isn't really taken too much. They measure your dh and you. But it's more genetics. So me and my husband are of both normal height. But growing up. We were short and very skinny! I was a size 4 till I was 30. Even now I'm only a size 8. I weighed 3 stone when I was 10! My family are exactly the same. My mil is a size 6! My auntie is a size 6! It does go massively in genetics too. So if your family does run short etc

However. That said. If he is short. (Which they worry about. Rather than weight). Then he does need to be checked. They thought my kids had Russel silver syndrome. But they now believe it's genetic.

We got told. To add calories to their diet. Secret calories. Because if you can add weight. It adds height. So honey to yogurt. Olive oil to fish fingers. Secret fats. Mash avocado in mash potato.

Good luck! Ask any questions. I'm in lots of IUGR and SGA pages. Where we see dwarfism. Etc. We see Russel silver syndrome. There's something called the magic foundation. Google that.

However. It does usually need a drs input.

I'm also a vegetarian

However my youngest is a massive mewt water. If she didn't eat meat. She wouldn't eat much!

Even if your veggie. I might try adding meat. Purely to add weight. Try it.

Meat eater. Damn thumbs!

He'd need more lentils. Chickpea. The high protein stuff. That's missing. He eats quite a few carbs. So more protein.

Going through your posts I see he's still non-verbal at two and a half. My sympathies go out to you. But I do think he's eating enough. The list of food of you have given is probably enough for a day. It is varied. He is eating when he is hungry. He should be okay at least in this regard.

Op

Sometimes rss do look in proportion.

I've seen a few. RSS doesn't necessarily show sometimes till about 4. Then the features come out. My dd is perfect proportions. She was tested due to her nose. I didn't understand. But I would post a pic. But I don't allow any photos on any media.

I think that's plenty for a two year old!

OP, you are in a perfect storm.

Your young child with ASD has started regressing around food and refusing previously tolerated food - perfectly 'normal' in an ASD profile and our first clue that my DS was autistic
He's potentially teething - big back teeth come in around now
His routine is shot to shit because of lockdown, as is yours. There is tension in the house (there's tension in every house!) which he will be picking up on, and the lack of normal routine will be HUGE
He doesn't communicate, at a time when all children struggle with their communication anyway, so this will be hugely frustrating for him and for you too.
There's real tension between you and DH about what to feed/mental load/some controlling behaviour from your DH

If I was you I'd be sitting in the corner rocking. I'm so impressed you've still got the energy to start a thread on this.

What I would suggest is to do nothing. Take this off your worry list for now. Don't engage with DH worrying about it either. Say to yourself and to him, 'I'm doing the best i can to get through lockdown. After lockdown we can look for specialist advice. Until then, we'll eat what we can and get through it without making food a battle ground.' Take the pressure off. You are doing fine.

Didn't have time to rtft.

You mentioned that his weight is proportional to his height or even a bit above - so clearly quantity is not an issue. And if he gets vitamins, I doubt his diet is the reason for his height or lack thereof - many kids are bought up on fast food and they're not dwarves. So I can think of several things :

• a growth curve isn't linear. My son was 99th centile and suddenly dropped to 75th. No reason for that. It happens. Your son might hit a growth spurt later on.

• maybe he really just is small. Genetics work in mysterious ways. If he seems otherwise healthy... (is it possible to do bloods to check for any deficiencies ?)

• or, maybe he has a hormonal imbalance. This is worth investigating if his height is or falls very low for his age as in this case he might need HRT or other medications, that would do the most good taken at a young age.

About his diet, quality might be an issue (weetabix for dinner doesn't sound great ?) but it really depends on what he eats over a long period. Nutritional balance is found across weeks, not days.

I got on this thread all ready to tell you to just serve him healthy food and if he doesn't want it, he's the one going hungry. Works with my son. However, if there are additional needs/sensory issues thrown in, obviously that changes everything.

But I would stop giving him a mid morning snack as he doesn't eat it anyway. Did you notice anything about the foods he likes, versus the ones he doesn't ? Do they all have something in common ? Like, a similar texture ?

For instance if you notice he likes smooth purees, there are lots of vegetables that you can puree. If he likes yoghourt there's plenty of fruit he can have mixed in. If he likes eggs, go for vegetables mixed in an omelette. Does he drink soup ? You can put plenty of healthy foods in soup shape.

Also make sure you're on the same page with your DH. If he gives him snacks behind your back because he's concerned about DS eating "anything rather than nothing" then obviously there is little incentive to eat the vegetables.

Especially because he is ASC I would be giving him meat and trying a wide range of things and I am vegetarian myself.
Many people with ASC will have restricted eating it’s not just sensory it about predictability and feeling secure and in control.

Also agree with pp's - don't make this a battle, you'll exhaust yourself and your DS will just dig his heels in.

Like I said, if weight is proportional to height or above the issue isn't quantity. So if he doesn't want to eat let him skip a meal. It may well also be only a phase. Also if the height is due to another factor (late growth spurt, hormonal issues, etc) then stuffing him with unhealthy food isn't gonna help - the opposite, actually !

I think the amount is okay though. Kids eat different amounts. My daughter loves on air for large parts of her life but eats healthy options and her brother eats more that a grown man but is restricted in what he will eat. They have both been encouraged to eat in the same way.

PS - incidentally I don't think this has to do with him being vegetarian. If he was vegan maybe, because a healthy vegan diet is hard work and requires some flexibility which a small child may not have. But a healthy vegetarian diet is a lot easier to follow (especially if he'll eat eggs).

There are two separate issues here, which may or may not be linked :

• he's very fussy (whatever the reason)

• he is small for his age

Finding out the cause of these issues is key to moving forward as it will impact how you deal with this. Obviously a child who is just fussy will be dealt with differently to a child with ASD who struggles with specific tastes and textures.

The other thing I was going to ask was whether you already had access to a SALT. One of my friends little ones had major sensory issues with food and it was a SALT that tackled it rather than say a dietician.

I think his meals sound fine op. I'd think nothing of giving my 3 year old cereal for breakfast, peanut butter toast for lunch, and cheese pasta for dinner. My DS does also eat a lot of fruit and veg in snack form (carrot sticks etc) but honestly as long as your son is having a multi vitamin I wouldn't worry about it for now. You've clearly got enough on your plate with his development so for now as long as he's getting enough calories and taking a multivitamin I wouldn't worry about it too much. Protein wise people go mental over the idea of not getting enough. Between the high protein weetabix, cheese, soya milk etc I'd be amazed if he isn't getting enough. Most people in developed countries are actually massively exceeding the amount of protein they need, and people often can't comprehend that plant based protein exists and is just as good as animal protein. I'm a vegan BTW and my children are pesc but eat vegan most of the time as well and we are all very healthy.

OP Look up Ellyn Slatter "division of responsibility" also follow "kids eat in color" on instagram. Basic premise is you decide what food is served and at what times and it's up to your child to decide how much of it they eat.

It's a fussy age and I would think our son being suspected ASD is definitely important in this regard.

I have a two and three year old (three year old has mild sensory issues with food) and they both go through stages of eating well and stages of refusing everything. I just keep serving it up and don't make a fuss or cajole them to eat. Some days they'll push it away in disgust other days they'll lap it up.

Don't make it a battle ground because it's one battle you can't win as you can't force a child to eat. As mentioned above try to have at least one thing on the plate you know he'll like. But don't give up and serve weetabix for dinner, it's fine occasionally but keep offering and offering proper food and eventually he may surprise you, but he needs to be consistently exposed to new foods in order to try. I know it's frustrating when so much food gets wasted but I found it easier to accept that food wastage is part and parcel of child rearing and unless money is really tight I wouldn't worry too much about it.

As he's not having meat and fish I would ensure the multivitamin he has also has omega 3 or get some of that separately as it's important for brian development.

Good luck!

It’s fine

We are a mainly vegan house here with a two-year-old. We are lucky that ours eats pretty well, and a good variety of different foods (I know this could change at anytime though!)

I think other people have suggested smoothies and, going on our experience, I can't recommend it highly enough. We find it really useful to be able to add in different proteins and flavours and have something different every day

For protein we add in something like a good dollop of nut butter or fortified soya yoghurt or sometimes a vegan protein powder. You can get the powder from health food shops (and you can get flavourless versions so it doesn't affect the taste of the smoothie).

We keep bags of frozen fruit in the freezer And always have things like apples, pears and bananas to hand. Spinach goes in too quite often and you can add in toddler vitamins (bought in liquid form).

He has his own special cup with a straw which he loves. We also involve him in putting the ingredients in and pushing the button to make it start.

You could start with really easy flavours like chocolate, peanut butter and banana.

It doesn't meet all his nutritional needs, obviously, but is a good way to get healthy protein and fruit in without too much trouble.

Wishing you and your family all the best!

I think that seems like an ok amount for a 2 year old. Yes, he could probably eat more, but it's definitely not a dangerous amount. My 2 year old is starting to get fussier with his food now. I think it's the age when they start developing their own tastes. My DS loved mash, now he won't touch it - but will happily eat a plateful of roast potatoes. I can't get him to eat much in the way of veg at all, but he loves bananas and apples. He is also egg crazy! Fried, scrambled, boiled or chocolate 😆 I'd focus on him eating what he does like and take away the pressure of getting him to eat too many new things. If it's cheesy pasta most nights, so be it!
I've recently stopped breastfeeding DS, and he hates cows milk, but will happily eat cheese and yoghurt.
You really don't want to give him negative associations with meal times - that could make it even harder later on.
To the poster who asked if he serves himself or helps prepare meals - he's 2 for God's sake!

I have a very fussy child - she really didn't want to wean, so we haven't ever had an 'eating normally' phase.

DD is now 7, and otherwise neurotypical. Things that we have learnt about her:
Texture is everything. She won't eat any sauces (so no hiding veg there).
She would eat the Ella's kitchen purees as they are completely smooth - a possible source of fruit and veg?
Nothing should touch on her plate.
She will starve rather than eat her safe foods.
She ate exactly the same (or rather, didn't eat) at nursery. Having other children around didn't help.
She will happily help me prepare food - she makes a really good crumble. She absolutely will not eat it.

Her diet is still very limited. However, she eats carbs, protein, fats and some fruit and veg (about 4 options there; she has broccoli every day), so I've decided to stop stressing about it.

I'm happy to answer any questions if anything sounds similar.

Because his dad won't touch or allow meat, and giving him meat would cause an uproar. It just won't happen. He is 100% dead set against him eating meat

Yet he married someone who eats meat . Why is it only his descision?

It sounds like your son has additional needs, apologies if I have got that wrong, in which case it is hard to say my kid did x so that might apply unless you are in similar circumstances. I think his diet doesn't sound too bad (certainly a lot better than my kids) but it doesn't seem like a lot of food and if he is not growing properly that is a worry. Is he taking more breastmilk recently that might mean he's not as hungry as before? I don't think he needs to eat meat to be healthy (although it seems like not eating it isn't working for him as he isn't growing) but equally I think it is extremely selfish of your DH to impose values on your DS that might impact his health. He might be just as unlikely to eat fish, chicken or meat but if you don't try how will you know. Surely if you child is behind in growth your DH would try anything to help him, seems very odd to me. I agree with your mentality of not using cutlery because he can't or just wanting him to eat in any way possible which is why your comments around vegetarianism baffle me even more.