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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask why you came off Facebook..

71 replies

bluemoon77 · 25/04/2020 13:46

Or if you’re considering coming off.... I think I might just deactivate, far too many wind ups lately. Also I think facebook can often be a source of feeling left out and ignored. Anyone else?

OP posts:
Rubychard · 26/04/2020 09:40

It's useful for some things, one of my social groups uses it as their communication platform. Dont really have much drama in general, that died out years ago.

It's been good during lockdown for getting food deliveries to my parents who live at a distance.

However I am sick and tired of:-

virtue signalling (clap for carers etc)

The phrase "stay home for the nhs" (you might be shielding and it may be no problem to you, but let's face it, someone has to get your groceries. And if I'm not shielding I've got to get my own. And if I want to go for a bloody walk I will).

People who cant mind their own bloody business "why are there campervans parked in the local car park?" Couldn't give a shit personally providing they dont come within 2 metres of me.

People who invent their own lockdown rules and start ranting when others dont follow them (easily applicable to mn as well).

I could go on.....
I'm not likely to come off any time soon but my god it's trying at the moment....

FourTeaFallOut · 26/04/2020 09:41

I came off because I wasn't comfortable with the amount of emotional drama and desperate bids for attention. I went back on because the access to current and useful information about local services, particularly food delivery services, is just unparalleled elsewhere.

LilyE1234 · 26/04/2020 09:46

Too many pictures of other people’s kids Grin I can understand the occasional post, but multiple posts a day highlighting what said child ate for breakfast, drew at nursery, watched on tv is not interesting for anyone other than the parent posting it.

Fluffybutter · 26/04/2020 10:16

@lazylinguist but what about the community pages that used to offer useful local information but are now full of shaming and moaning ?
You say fb is what you make it but since this all started people have changed , those who I used to enjoy interacting with have now done an about face and turned into rabid attention seekers and conspiracy nuts.
They were not like this before ..

LEELULUMPKIN · 26/04/2020 10:21

Never joined and unless hell freezes over, never will.

Too busy living my own life to give a shit what others do with theirs.

Pippin2028 · 26/04/2020 10:35

I deactivated mine but go on once a week to check out a work related group. There is too much BS fake lives, fake bragging and attention seeking. I think fb can now cause so many more problems than actual joy, make people feel bad about themselves and one bad comment on fb can ruin peoples careers and lives now. Also it seems to be mentioned alot in here, shaming and bullying people on fb is big thing too.

lazylinguist · 26/04/2020 11:00

Fluffybutter - then ditch them! If a page or a person is no longer positive for you (for whatever reason), then why continue following them? You don't even need to unfriend people, you can just unfollow their posts. I'm sure you can find useful local information elsewhere. And in any case, you'd lose that source of information anyway if you ditched FB entirely.

I used to be on a local group too, but ditched it ages ago because there were too many arseholes on it. I've also unfollowed a couple of people I know and really like in rl because they post so frequently and boringly. Grin Who you follow is entirely your choice!

Hingeandbracket · 26/04/2020 11:02

Facebook is what you make it.
Not entirely, it's also what Facebook Inc makes it.

AgeLikeWine · 26/04/2020 11:08

I never joined Facebook in the first place. I looked at it many years ago when it was the new thing and decided it was a completely pointless waste of time. Nothing I have seen or heard since has caused me to reconsider my decision. Quite the opposite, in fact.

funinthesun19 · 26/04/2020 11:13

I wish I’d never let people convince me in to joining it 12 years ago. I hate what it does to me and I really believe my mind will be a lot healthier when I finally do get rid of it.
I’m so glad I never joined any of the others like Twitter or Instagram.

lazylinguist · 26/04/2020 11:19

Well yes. Obviously if your beef is with Facebook Inc for the very nature of FB itself or its business practices, then vote with your feet. But the vast, vast majority of negative comments I've seen about FB on MN and in rl seem to be about boastful, negative, judgemental, argumentative posts, unwelcoming or intolerant groups, people excluding members of their family or friends, people posting tactless remarks while drunk etc etc. And I'm afraid that's not FB, that's people. Social media undoubtedly makes it easier for arseholes to spread their arseholery, but their arsholery is still their fault and it's your choice to continue following them.

I'm no great supporter of the undoubtedly morally questionable tech and media giants. The only reason to put money in their pockets is if you're genuinely getting something positive out of what they provide. I'm just baffled as to why people choose to continue following people who piss them off and make them feel bad.

xcess2184 · 26/04/2020 11:33

I deleted a couple of years ago. I never posted and neither did my close friends who I'm in a WhatsApp group with anyway. If I make a nice meal or buy something interesting I send photos to my mum and sister on WhatsApp but see absolutely no reason to share that with anyone else.

I had old school friends and work colleagues and I really don't need to see what they're doing. However, I bumped into an old colleague a few months ago out shopping and it was genuinely nice to catch up - that meant more than seeing anything online.

I can't stand the attention seekers. There was a girl I'd never met but I'd see loads of her posts as we had a couple of mutual friends and it seemed crazy to see so much of someone's life when I don't know them.

I do have Instagram though and follow only my relatives and home decor accounts so I'm not totally anti social media. I like that on Instagram you just see who you follow where as Facebook is more of a spider's web/ six degrees of separation/ no privacy/ attention seeking shite!

ThisHereMamaBear · 26/04/2020 11:34

I was going to delete as I often feel left out from the in group of mums. However, it's still going to happen in real life, i'd rather see it and learn how to better deal with it.

MarieQueenofScots · 26/04/2020 11:37

I still use it but then your Facebook experience (as with all social media) is what you make it.

It’s essential for me for work, so the time spent for that purpose means I tend not to post much personally but I like seeing what my friends post.

Poptart4 · 26/04/2020 12:46

I permanently deleted fb 5/6 years ago. I hated the way people would friend you then ignore you in the street. Or worse be all chatty whenever you bump into them on the street but then ignore your friend request. What's that about?

At first it was great catching up with people I hadn't seen in years but after that you've nothing left to say to each other.

Some people are only meant to be in your life for a 'season'. I sometimes think social media keeps people in your life long after you both should have moved on from each other.

I hated the fakeness. Like couples declaring their love every 2 mins but you know them in real life so you know they break up every 6 months cos he s always cheating. Or the parents forever posting how their kids are their world. Eh Karen you spend so much time down the pub, your kids couldn't pick you out of a line up!

The grown adults who brag every week about how drunk/hungover they are. Maybe if we were 15 I'd be impressed but your 35, no one cares that you drank some alcohol.

At my lowest points I'd look at fb and feel bad because everyone seemed to have more friends than me, a better social life, better relationships etc. Even though I know alot of it's fake, when your feeling lonely, anxious or depressed, it can drag you down. That's my own insecurities though.

Ultimately I'm a very private person and I started to feel uncomfortable with the little bit of information I was sharing. Deleting fb was like lifting a weight off my shoulders.

hope40 · 26/04/2020 13:28

I've often thought of deleting it. I'd have a period of not going on fb for a while, then go on for a look out of curiosity (and yes I guess fomo). Then I'd feel so fed up with it all again for the same reasons everyone else has mentioned on this thread, that I'd avoid it for a while once more.

Recently I've been using it more again because of the local groups and like others getting info on food delivery services etc. I've unfollowed a lot of people and joined a few special interest groups so I'm seeing a lot less of the things that I don't like now. Some still manage to creep in though and I'm sick of seeing pics of people FB are suggesting "I may know" who is a friend of a friend of a friend. Also when I go on one of my special interest groups or even just scroll through on my news feed, I'm always getting "invite these people to join" the group. I keep seeing the same faces and it's driving me crazy! Is there a way to turn that off or something??

Dita73 · 26/04/2020 14:10

Got rid of it about 8 years ago. I used to get pissed off with people leaving these cryptic posts to show they’re angry at someone but of course wouldn’t specify who it was. You think to yourself “Grow a pair and tell the bloody person!”. Wound me up. Also if I’d have seen another picture of a poxy hot tub I was going to scream!

Legoandloldolls · 26/04/2020 14:23

I keep on wanting to come off. Itsmyclose family that show a horrible side of them. Two close relatives no I teract with me on there and post far right shite.

Mil rarely likes pictures of the kids unless they are 'posed' and stunning moments ( ie dd beaming straight at Camara with her long blonde hair blooming in the sun. Digging in dirt in her pjs not facing the camera get ignored. If she looks cute ( or older etc) I get "my gorgeous grandchild " so anything less than stunning feels worthless. We cany all be stunners😂

Plus mil keeps posting on sil posts "that's my girl, thats my stunning daughter" she isn't her daughter. Shes her sons wife. But she is stunning. Makes me feel like a cave troll 😭 I need to come off really. It's all based on vacuous selfies and boosting you are related to stunning people on my feed.

The80sweregreat · 26/04/2020 14:43

I'm against the grain here.

I find it ok as I can keep in touch with people and family and most of my friends are quite witty too.
I don't have too many friends on it anyway and I just scroll past any crap or hide it from the feed. Blocked or deleted anyone racist.
I can see why people have left though. twitter is much more abrasive and argumentative! That's a different ball game over there.

Oilyoilyoilgob · 26/04/2020 14:53

Show offs, boring posts that only the people posting are truly interested in. Animal abuse posts (staunch animal supporter but seeing awful pictures, however well meaning the post, upset me massively). People posting pics of their houses and holidays. General bullshit 😂

I have never felt better coming off it. Some people think I’m weird and will gladly tell me do as they love it, but when we chat they normally finish with ‘I’d like to be on it less but I just can’t stay away’

When I had it I was constantly clicking on the app to check updates on my feed from the business pages etc I was on, I was wasting a huge amount of my time. I love not being on it!

LuvMyBoyz · 26/04/2020 15:54

I came off at the start of lockdown as I used it mainly to arrange group walks and to post photos on my timeline which acted as a photo album for me. I’ll get it back when group walks are allowed again.

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