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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask why you came off Facebook..

71 replies

bluemoon77 · 25/04/2020 13:46

Or if you’re considering coming off.... I think I might just deactivate, far too many wind ups lately. Also I think facebook can often be a source of feeling left out and ignored. Anyone else?

OP posts:
TwistyHair · 25/04/2020 15:22

It’s all so me me me. It’s awful. But useful for some things like local groups, businesses and disability support groups. So I deleted all my friends. And just don’t have anyone on it now. Much better. If anyone friend requests me now I just reply with a polite no

AvocadoPrime · 25/04/2020 15:25

I came off ages ago! I used to love it, constantly scrolling through in my spare time. I realised it was where the majority of people spend their time preaching and pretending they live the best lives, when behind the scenes it's much different. I've been off it for over a year now and it's been lovely! Also came off of instagram for the same reasons.

TimeForChange123 · 25/04/2020 15:33

Because I hated the fact I could be 'tracked' by anyone, even if I love them! And I spent far too much time e.g looking at friends of friends wedding photos 😂

TheSweetestHalleluja · 25/04/2020 15:38

I've been off it for quite a while now, and am so glad, especially with what I've been hearing has been on there about coronavirus. I think its changed a lot, but then so have we, for those of us that joined when we were late teens, early twenties who are now much older, we've grown up and for me, I just didn't want to be that person anymore. I feel much more free to just be me, and not always be thinking about the Facebook version of myself, I didn't like feeling like I was attention seeking, and I just wanted to focus on my family and have a bit of privacy back again. I'm much more at peace with my life now that I feel I'm doing what makes me and my family happy, and not thinking about what would look good on Facebook.

HeimdallSaysNo · 25/04/2020 15:43

The racism. The bigots (including my own family). The tracking and lack of privacy. The "U alright hun?" The crap people tried to sell me. The fake news. The incessant advertising. Only older members of my family (50 years old plus) are on it now.

VeryQuaintIrene · 25/04/2020 15:47

I still like it but only for pictures of cute cats, funny memes and checking in with real friends that I'd actually see eventually (I'm in US, they are in UK, so usually only see them a couple of times a year). Otherwise, yes, irritating self-promotion and even more irritating political posts even from people whose politics I share.

fairydustandpixies · 25/04/2020 15:48

Gone from being very active to deactivating my account four years ago. My life is far more relaxed, less competitive and I can enjoy things instead of worrying should I post it, if I post it will people like it, do I look pathetic, do I seem desperate...

Best thing I ever did and I tell friends who say I should go back on to f**k off!

Disquieted1 · 25/04/2020 15:54

Facebook = Look how wonderful my life is! It is so much better than yours.

Mumsnet = Look how miserable my life is! Woe is me.

I feel more at home here.

Greenkit · 25/04/2020 15:59

I was totally obsessed with FB and was on there all the time. I have come off and actually don't miss it at all.

Its all adverts and drama

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 25/04/2020 16:03

How I use it has changed massively over the past ten years. That is very true. I have spent quite a lot of time tweaking so I get mostly relevant stuff. The adverts are really annoying though.

Hingeandbracket · 25/04/2020 16:05

Facebook (the company) have shown they don't give a shiny shit about UK law.

Martin Lewis had to get to Court before they'd even lift a finger to stop all the fake ads on FB claiming he was endorsing various scams and fake schemes.

Before I ditched it there were regular adverts on there that break laods of UK advertising laws, but they don't give a fuck.

So fuck them and their shit app.

Phifedean123 · 25/04/2020 16:09

De activated about a month ago and don't miss it at all. Was full of negativity for me. Also just kind of boring yet I'd find myself mindlessly scrolling. I feel a lot lighter mentally being off it.

GreyGardens88 · 25/04/2020 16:10

I only use mine to interact with groups for my hobbies, I don't use it to interact with friends or family anymore

Essexgirlupnorth · 25/04/2020 16:15

I don't want to come of entirely because there are some people that it is the only way I keep in touch but think I"m going to mute some people one who just shares loads of irreverent scam warns and stuff that isn't real without checking first plus the how many people have you been in contact with type posts I have be following lockdown rules but I work for the NHS so I am still going to work so probably have more contact than most and one friend who just seems to be picking fights with anyone who comments on her posts at the moment but I can't in friend her as we have a work related messager group and she would notice. Plus everyone been self righteous about other people not following lock down rules when they have also been to the same shop though of course their purchase was essential.

Doublevodka · 25/04/2020 16:30

I deactivated my account 2 years ago and don't miss a thing. Posting on Facebook is 90% showing off which is a trait I really dislike. I found i was even going off people i usually like in real life so decided to leave it.

Talulahoopla · 25/04/2020 16:33

Came off last summer and don't miss it at all. It's full of negativity. It was just making me feel awful at what was an already difficult time in my life and didn't realise how draining it was. Definitely the best thing for me. Still use Instagram but it's easier to control what you see there and it's far more positive.

OldGranvilleHouse · 26/04/2020 00:30

I came off it maybe 6/7 years ago after being on it for a couple of years. At first it was good to see how a lot of folk I hadn’t seen for well over 20 years were getting on - where they were living, working, kids or not, married or not, etc. It was nice to know how things had turned out for people. We exchanged a few massages, said “see you around” and that was it really. But it was really good to see what had become of them. I also think that, in those times, there wasn’t so much of the “look how great my life is” type of posts.

However, I finally came off it because I didn’t really like how it took all my lives (work, personal, social, family, etc) and sort of melded them into one. I think we all compartmentalise different bits of our lives - I’m a different person at work compared to how I am with friends........ I still have the same beliefs and principles, but I act professionally, am serious and don’t tend to over-share at work, whereas I like to let my hair down and be much more open with friends. My family see me as a reliable, solid and sensible person Grin who just seems to get on with things.

One day I had a conversation with an aunt I was visiting. She’d friended me a while before, although I don’t really think we ever spoke on Facebook. She was asking me questions about photos I’d been tagged in during my uni days in the 80s....... basically photos where I’d been shitfaced at parties and behaving in a way that I wouldn’t have done with family......... I’d laughed at the photos when I saw them as they reminded me of some really good times I’d had, but I didn’t think they were for my family to see. This conversation left me feeling a little bit uncomfortable and that was when I realised that a drawback of Facebook (for me) was that it didn’t let me have my different lives. So not long after that I completely closed my account.

Last year, however, I set up a new account. DH and I bought a house in a village in Spain and we plan to move there when we retire in a few years’ time. We visit as often as we can (not at the moment, unfortunately) and are trying as best we can to integrate and become part of the small community. The villagers have been hugely welcoming and do things like go in and check on the house when we’re not there and leave milk, juice, water, bread when they know we’re arriving.

There are a couple of village Facebook groups, so we joined in order to try to get to know people in the village and also keep up with local stuff (eg announcements from the town hall and the annual programme of events). It has been an amazing tool for us and, especially at the moment, it’s allowing us to keep in touch with our future neighbours.

However, I’ve made a subtle change to my name and put myself down as living there (rather than in the UK). I also used my Spanish email address and Spanish phone number so I wouldn’t come up as a suggested friend to folk I know here in the UK. Apart from two people, all my friends are from the village in Spain as I don’t want to go back to the old Facebook where everything was as one. Maybe that seems odd, but it’s just how I feel.

So I guess I have mixed views, but I certainly think it’s been a great help for Spain.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 26/04/2020 08:36

I follow a few groups that are very useful for work and that’s about it.

I don’t like selfies, food pictures, children’s photos where they can’t consent or aren’t old enough to understand the implications, the “look at me” culture etc.

If we want to share news with family and friends, we call people or WhatsApp or tell them in person.

Dalamalama · 26/04/2020 08:42

I deactivated then went back on just for the amusement.

I have a friend at the moment who every bloody single day posts what she's spent, how much this cost, look what I just bought, the £2000 holiday is finally paid off, guess how much this big shop cost me, got to have these £120 trainers, can anyone recommend where I can get personalised number plates and on and on and....
Her boyfriend is in a minimum wage job and she doesn't work so he's either a drug dealer or she's got a lot of credit cards! Or she's an excellent at budgeting.
It's very boring yet amusing and rather sad.

redwoodmazza · 26/04/2020 08:48

I never even went on!!!!
My life is private, thanks. And I have other things to do than look at staged photos of other people's...

Fluffybutter · 26/04/2020 08:53

I deactivated a couple of days ago.
Was sick of the over the top statuses by people about covid, the constant homeschooling “look how good a teacher I am” photos , the fake news , the gestapo Facebook community pages and the ‘Clap for the NHS’ virtue signallers /attention seekers .
That just about covers it

speakout · 26/04/2020 08:53

I've never had a facebook account.

Ghostlyglow · 26/04/2020 09:06

I only joined last year and I quite like itBlush

lazylinguist · 26/04/2020 09:24

Facebook is what you make it. I took a break from it a while back, but I did it as part of an effort to reduce the time I spent on my phone rather than because I had a problem with FB specifically. However I realised that I actually spent far more time on MN than FB!

My friends are all nice, otherwise I wouldn't be friends with them! I don't follow a single person/group who is boastful, racist, negative etc. If that's what your friends are like (in FB or in real life), then it's them who are the problem, not FB. Yes, social media
can cause issues, but it's really not Facebook's fault if you are friends with boastful show-offs or if your family are racist and argumentative.

kevintheorangecarrot · 26/04/2020 09:35

I've not had Facebook for 3 years. Best thing I ever did was deleting it for good.