To not check for no stds

[arethereanyleftatall]

I know Aibu so my question is to really ask how many others don't either.
When you sleep with a new guy, do you ask/get them to prove they have no stds/hiv before you have sex with them without a condom?

@therona wtf?
Herpes, gonorrhoea, syphilis and HIV can all be transmitted through vaginal sex. Where did you get the idea that they can't?

@arethereanyleftatall HIV is generally very difficult to catch and needs conditions to be just right. Chlamydia on the other hand is the most commonly transmitted STI in the U.K.

The difference between the two is chlamydia is curable with antibiotics whereas HIV, due to it integrating itself into the immune system and lying dormant, is treatable with daily meds, but not yet curable. We are lucky nowadays that the meds are a lot less toxic than they used to be, but they must still be taken consistently so as to remain untransmittable, with twice yearly tests. So still something to worry about catching really. If you’re ever in a situation that you might have been put at risk of contracting HIV, PEPis available if taken within 72 hrs and co tinted for 28 days to prevent transmission.

My local clinic does postal testing and it’s suggested you only go in if you have symptoms, but you can just turn up. GUM clinics are great for getting good advice on safe sex, birth control, and often have free condoms. Anyone having more than one partner should see it as the norm to get tested, and their partners should too, especially if condoms aren’t used.

I wouldn’t have penetrative sex with someone without us being exclusive and an STI screen. I don’t use condoms, so to have sex with someone without a screen would be idiotic.

When single/newly seeing someone I take PrEP, covers the HIV base during oral. I’ve never caught anything from giving oral.

Granted I’m a lesbian so probably don’t have a great understanding but surely you would use condoms unless you’re trying to get pregnant? In which case you’d want to make sure you were both disease free first.

Again @HIVpos thank you so much. You've been really kind and helpful.

I’m 55 last slept with someone 7 years ago and won’t be happening again. I can say though that I’ve never asked and I haven’t ever used condoms. Must have been lucky.

@mindutopia

what about oral sex, Mindutopia? What are the stats like for women on that?

Seems crazy to me that people aren't protecting their bodies with all the information we have.

@happymummy12345 with one-night stands I just chanced it
also happymummy12345 someone I trust.... I would expect them to believe me

What exactly would you expect them to believe? That you "chanced it" with multiple sexual partners?

I haven’t slept around for quite a long time but I used to get tested once every six or so weeks for peace of mind and I’d always use a condom during casual sex. I’d only stop using a condom once we’d both had the all clear.

What exactly would you expect them to believe? That you "chanced it" with multiple sexual partners?

It's mind boggling isn't it??

I am in my fifties and there is no way I would have sex without a condom with someone new.

As PP have said, it's not a judgement on your sexual partner, it's for both of your benefits. You just go and get tested together and take it from there. Good luck!

I don't have casual sex. But if I did, I would never not use a condom. That's just reckless and stupid. Not only do you endanger yourself but everyone you then go on to sleep with. Its selfish and stupid.

I ask each guy before I have sex and get tested myself. Never had anyone refuse and dp asked me before I asked him. Never had a one night stand though.

Married now but when I used to date I always used condoms and if I felt there was longevity I would ask them to get fully tested. Once when I did this the guy admitted to me that he had herpes. As herpes can be spread through condoms I then started insisting on full testing before sex.

I am a bit shocked with the responses on here actually.

I know someone with herpes who regularly has sex unprotected. No idea how many women he has given it to.