daughter not allowed out?

[LittleLeaps]

We live in a tiny 2 bedroom flat, it has got a communal garden available for all of the residents but we don't use it every single day. My 4 year old has been cooped up inside for weeks, it's very hard to take her out for walks because she has asthma and I am very scared of her catching anything, it would also mean my baby (aged 11 months) is stuck in the pram not having any outside play. Today I took her down to play in the communal area, she was running about but not near other people - she was definitely 2m away from anyone else, she wasnt noisy just running about to burn off some energy. I have a baby who I was sitting on the grass with while watching my elder daughter at the same time. Another woman and her friend? Was sitting on a bench in the garden and said 'could you keep hold of your daughter, it's the reason my mother wont come down'. Was I being unreasonable to take my daughter down and let her play? She is an extremely energetic child trying to get her to sit still and play is like trying to catch water with your hands.

I feel awful and now dont feel like I can take my children out on my own at all, I'm really struggling with mental health issues and being stuck indoors is making them alot worse, and now I feel like the only outside time we have is being taken away. Obviously my daughters outside time isn't more important than anyone elses, but surely it's not less important either?

My daughter heard the woman and is now upset because she feels like shes not allowed outside, and also cant understand why someone wouldn't want to come down just because she was in the same garden. (Very big garden).

How many flats are sharing the space OP?

I would take your daughter properly out.

She might not be able to. We are in a country where you can't go out for a walk - perhaps the OP is too? I sympathise. We have a communal garden and every bloody time I take the kids down to run around a bit (far from everyone else) one of my neighbours shouts at them to go inside. She doesn't even want to go down. She just hates kids.

Could you keep hold of your daughter? Why!? She's a child not a dog. Tell her next time that you're as entitled as her mum use the garden and there's enough space for you and her mum. I'd probably be less polite though.

Your DD is allowed out but it's not difficult to reassure people that she won't breach social distancing. A DC running around whilst their parent sits down would panic most people who are self-isolating. That doesn't mean your DD can't be in the garden but I think it would be considerate to have some sit down games you can play if other people are in the garden too ... or as a PP said,clearly mark the boundaries of where she can play eg with a toy, a jumper, etc, so it's obvious to everyone that you're taking social distancing seriously.

You can take your daughter out for a walk!

@CanIbesomeoneelse

This makes me really sad. It’s a shared space. And you shouldn’t have to contain a 4yo

Not even in a contained space where other people are?

@Nettleskeins the OP is as entitled to use that space to relax with her daughter and baby, as anyone else in that block. If it's possible for her to go out for exercise, then she can do that AS WELL.
The garden is as much her space as my garden is mine. The fact that I don't have to share mine is the only difference. I use my garden to relax in, and my walk for exercise. And so can OP.

"And you shouldn’t have to contain a 4yo"

She has to "contain" her 2m away from everyone.

Op to be honest I think you need to look at how to take your daughter to the park. The virus isn't going to vanish and you can take her safely to spaces nearby surely? Children are very low risk if getting sick even those with underlying conditions. She can't stay indoors all summer

Please don't let your neighbours put you off. Say politely that you will use the space for a shirt time each day. There are many hours in the day why should it be a problem for everyone to use it

Children need to run around. Adults can find ways to work around that. Children's needs should not come last.

I don't understand why you didn't reassure the woman that it was fine for her mother to come down and use the garden?

By the way to add. There is now evidence that children barely transmit the virus. I think we will find out they have not been the spreaders we thought they were. Regardless. Children must have the right to use spaces for playing. Playing and running about is what children do. Surely adults can just come down at other times

Obviously a 4 year old running around means other people might not use the space but that's the nature of a communal space. As long as you're not out there all day with the 4 year old it should be fine for her to run around while you are out there.

I don’t really understand why you can’t go out for a walk like everyone else is having to.
Let your baby walk a bit (if it walks) and then put it in the buggy.

"Children must have the right to use spaces for playing. "

Only if they can distance socially. There is no absolute right to be in a communal garden during a pandemic.

Social distancing in a communal garden necessarily means adults making a judgement call on whether the garden is too full or not. If there are too many people using it, you try later. The other woman's mother's right to use the garden does not trump the OP and her children's right to use it. If the other woman's mother felt that she couldn't observe appropriate social distancing when the OP's four year old was there, that was her judgement call to make and she should have waited until later. Unless the OP and her kids are monopolising the garden all day - which they aren't - they did nothing wrong and the other woman needs to suck it up.