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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To consider doing something a bit naughty?!

154 replies

Ilovethebeach89 · 23/04/2020 13:22

So my 20yr old ds announced last night his mate has some cannabis. He wants me and him to get some and make space cakes. I've never ever tried that but I have to admit I'm curious. I did do other drugs when I was his age but nothing for years and years. I've said no dont be ridiculous but it's at the back of my mind now. Do adults actually do that and enjoy it?! I'm 47 btw. Maybe lockdown has sent me crazy.

OP posts:
tootiredtoconga · 23/04/2020 15:52

But don't let him think it means he can crack on whenever - it's a one off.

He's a 20 year old man!! If he wants to use cannabis regularly he will, whether or not he has his Mum's permission.

MandalaYogaTapestry · 23/04/2020 15:53

I tried it at, I imagine, around the same age as yours. Didn't feel anything. Tried again, in a different company, and again nothing. Quite disappointed actually. I wanted to experience for myself what being "high" feels like.

Not sure I would do it with my sone though, as I would want him to see me as a good example (the hypocrisy, I know). Find some grown-ups.

NekoShiro · 23/04/2020 15:54

Many cultures have used cannabis as a medicine for thousands of years, isn't it a huge part of rasta culture? It's also recently become legalised in many American states so if its something you want to do then do it

AnnaC2020 · 23/04/2020 15:56

Where are the boundaries LOL hes 20 years old and an adult. Go for it OP. I don’t drink or smoke or do any drugs but last year in Amsterdam I smoked and ate a whole lot of weed. And it was great!

Dipi79 · 23/04/2020 15:59

I'm pro-choice, but I wouldn't use drugs of any form with my children, adult or otherwise. I hope my girls can always be as open with me as they choose, but can't see myself baking and eating hash cakes with them.

WingBingo · 23/04/2020 16:00

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/3884553-Stoners

Come on over to this thread.

Carrotgirl87 · 23/04/2020 16:01

One more thing to consider, if you react badly (which is an admittedly very slim, but not impossible chance) would you consider ringing an ambulance at a time when resources are stretched as thinly as they are? Psychosis is a horrifyingly scary thing for those of you who've never dealt with it, not something you can just wait to wear off, don't think now is the time to try new things with any level of risk to your health if I'm honest.

Mumtobe193 · 23/04/2020 16:02

@AnnaC2020 totally agree, a previous poster had left a comment on this thread saying something along the lines of ‘you’re his mum, not his mate’ 🙄 I mean, for god sake, we’re talking about a 20 year old ADULT here not a 13 year old child. I think it’s lovely that this mum is ‘mates’ with her ADULT son, I hope I have a similar relationship with my children when they’re older.

namechangetheworld · 23/04/2020 16:05

Yes, you should definitely be encouraging your son to break the law. Lots of 'cool' parents on here today I see Hmm

All of the people I know who use weed on the regular are scummy wasters so no, I wouldn't be doing it myself and would actively discourage my children from doing it too, adults or not.

LagunaBubbles · 23/04/2020 16:08

Do it. It will bond you as friends for life

I have a fantastic relationship with my 18 and 27 year old sons. I'm their Mum however, not their friend (they have plenty) and I certainly don't need to take drugs with them to "bond" our relationship.

AnnaC2020 · 23/04/2020 16:09

@Mumtobe193 exactly! She has done all the parenting and she has done a good job if he feels confident to announce something like that to her. It’s not like he’s asking her to take heroin 🤣

Mumtobe193 · 23/04/2020 16:11

@namechangetheworld it’s not about being a ‘cool’ parent, it’s about having an open mind, and having an open and honest relationship with your children.

Just because all the people you know who use weed on the regular are ‘scummy wasters’ as you call them doesn’t necessarily mean that all people who use weed occasionally are ‘scummy wasters’. Think you’d be very naive to think so too.

Slith · 23/04/2020 16:15

I'd be wondering how his mate has managed to get hold of the stuff during lockdown, and whether your ds has been meeting up with him.
I still get mine online as usual, deliveries have slipped from next day to a few days because of how busy Royal Mail are though.

namechangetheworld · 23/04/2020 16:17

@namechangetheworld it’s not about being a ‘cool’ parent, it’s about having an open mind, and having an open and honest relationship with your children.

So you're happy for your children to do whatever they like, as long as they're 'open and honest' with you? Does them being open and honest somehow negate the fact that they're breaking the law?

susandelgado · 23/04/2020 16:17

I would but I'm a child of the 60's . My dd had been using it for pain. I'd never smoke it anymore but she gave me some oil and it was so much stronger than what I've had in the past. I was lying in bed and couldn't move. I felt as if I was pinned to the bed with a heavy weight. It was hours before I could move! So in retrospect I'd be very careful and start with a small amount . Good luck 😉

FuckyNel · 23/04/2020 16:20

No way would I ever do this. Blurs the lines too much

Iooselipssinkships · 23/04/2020 16:22

Go for it OP. I heard from a friend that their weed dealer has been wearing more PPE than a NHS front line worker
(although I guess that's easy considering they have fuck all at the moment)

HopelessLayout · 23/04/2020 16:24

I wouldn't do it at that age. Cannabis has a different effect on the young, in my experience.

EnamelledStars · 23/04/2020 16:30

All of the people I know who use weed on the regular are scummy wasters so no

That says more about the people you socialise with, than people who sometimes smoke cannabis. I, for one, don’t know any ‘scummy wasters’.

I do know some educated people who hold down jobs without any issue who sometimes smoke weed. Maybe it’s just the people I choose to socialise with Wink

I would do it, OP, and I personally don’t smoke it and haven’t for a good 10 years, but it didn’t get me hooked on heroin. It was just a different thing to do instead of alcohol.

Rosebel · 23/04/2020 16:31

Wonder if all these parents who are perfectly happy to break the law with their children would be fine with their children committing other crimes?
After all you've taught them the law doesn't apply to them.

Ragwort · 23/04/2020 16:33

Mumsnet is such an odd place .... posters thinking it is ‘cool’ to take drugs with their child ... and on another thread a student is berated for trying to finish her dissertation in peace. Hmm

This must be a wind up, I can’t believe any responsible parent would even give it any thought. And where is the DS obtaining these drugs from? I volunteer with rough sleepers ..... their lives are ruined because of drugs. I wonder if their parents (who have all disowned them) thought it was ‘cool’ to dabble in a little cannabis cake baking.Angry.

Mumtobe193 · 23/04/2020 16:33

@namechangetheworld I never actually said I would be ‘happy’ for my children to do whatever they liked now did I? Just that I would prefer for them to be honest with me about what they’re up to.

If one of my children told me they were planning on trying weed at 20 years old, I would make it clear that I would prefer for them not to, but not condemn them to the point where they feel like they can’t talk to me about it ever again. They would probably just go ahead and do it anyway and me agreeing or not agreeing with it would make no difference what so ever.

augustusglupe · 23/04/2020 16:37

I’ve watched youngsters get hooked on Cannabis. Thankfully not my own although it could’ve gone that way.
Don’t do this as just a bit of fun. You’re meant to be the adult here. He’s testing the water. Don’t for one minute let him think you’re ok with this!! You’ll be making a big mistake OP.

namechangetheworld · 23/04/2020 16:37

I do know some educated people who hold down jobs without any issue who sometimes smoke weed. Maybe it’s just the people I choose to socialise with.

Managing to hold down jobs? Gosh, what an achievement. Although that probably is a significant accomplishment for most weed smokers to be fair.

I'm sure they're all fine, upstanding members of society. Except for the fact that they're criminals eh?

TheClitterati · 23/04/2020 16:37

All of the people I know who use weed on the regular are scummy wasters

think that is more about you and who you associate with than anything else.

Amoung the regular weed uses I know include:
compter programmers, lawyers, economists, doctors, musicians, supermarket workers, brewers, gardeners, pub manager, nurse, office workers, architect, artist, scientist, teacher, painter/decorator, radio DJ, record label staff, admin workers, parents, and a few unemployed people.

Not a scummy waster to be seen.