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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To consider doing something a bit naughty?!

154 replies

Ilovethebeach89 · 23/04/2020 13:22

So my 20yr old ds announced last night his mate has some cannabis. He wants me and him to get some and make space cakes. I've never ever tried that but I have to admit I'm curious. I did do other drugs when I was his age but nothing for years and years. I've said no dont be ridiculous but it's at the back of my mind now. Do adults actually do that and enjoy it?! I'm 47 btw. Maybe lockdown has sent me crazy.

OP posts:
Krong · 23/04/2020 15:10

Go for it! How fun!

Just because something is 'illegal' isn't a blanket reason to not do something.

Merename · 23/04/2020 15:19

I would do it too. Much nicer drug than alcohol, and probably all the people telling you off are caning that! I used to eat space cakes with my bfs mother when I was around 20 and it was so bonding and so much fun. Would not have been my mums style tho. Like others I think it’s good he talks to you about it, and yes some people progress to other drugs but many of us smoked A LOT in our teens/twenties and just had fun with our pals.

Thisismytimetoshine · 23/04/2020 15:20

How fun!. With Mummy... Really?

Tillytess · 23/04/2020 15:23

This is the kind of thing I could have seen myself get up to you a few years ago. But now I have a 2 sons in mid to late 20s who have ongoing mental health issues and whose lives have been ruined due to addictions. So I would very strongly say no but I am extremely biased.

MadameTuffington · 23/04/2020 15:24

@Ilovethebeach89 Hello there - I am in a bit of a quandary about this one because of personal experience - I smoked weed with my Dad (who was a Prison Governor - yes, really) at the age of 19 - the experience did not fuck me up and I went on to ‘use’ responsibly until the age of 23 and then drop it. My 22 year old has used weed (heavily with friends in spite of repeated sanctions, warnings, friendly and informative chats with me and other adults about the dangers) since age 15 and is now on remand in prison for an explosives charge - the offence came about following a completely ineffective Section 2 with the local MH team following a massive psychotic episode - this was terrifying to behold - I adore my son - he was highly sociable, intelligent and capable before, now he has possible schizophrenia.

I view cannabis somewhat differently now but also accept that many will use it recreationally with no significant ill effects.

Another point I think it is worth mentioning is that the UK has an extremely unhealthy attitude to booze - booze is the driver of so much violence and shitty behaviour and yet, I’ll bet many people would happily sit down and have a pint (or two, or three) with their older kids.

Awareness and moderation in all things I suppose.

Take care OP x

Rosebel · 23/04/2020 15:25

Of course, encourage your son to break the law. Apparently it doesn't matter.
Of course he might go on to harder drugs. Never mind.
It's fun and that's all that matters.
I really hope people are joking. Either that or you haven't seen what drugs do to some people. Believe me it's not fun!

LagunaBubbles · 23/04/2020 15:29

Makes me laugh when people act like they get a LCD trip off it though. 😂🤷🏻‍♀️

Nothing funny about nursing someone with a drug induced psychosis, especially after they think they can fly and fling themselves off a roof.

TofutiKline · 23/04/2020 15:29

Great idea! Then you can try some speed.

Ginger1982 · 23/04/2020 15:30

Sounds like a brilliant idea 🙄

SirGawain · 23/04/2020 15:30

Can't beleive I'm reading this. Usual MumsNet double standards. If you DP or DH was doing it it would be a universal LTB.

PurpleDaisies · 23/04/2020 15:31

I agree SirGawain. Or if someone was considering having more to drink than normal.

Haworthia · 23/04/2020 15:32

@TofutiKline Hahahaha.

ladybee28 · 23/04/2020 15:34

I wonder how many crack heads start out with crack, and how many try 'safer' drugs, like maybe cannabis, first.

I wonder how many of them would chuckle at the size of that pole vault of logic...

Mumtobe193 · 23/04/2020 15:38

@ladybee28 totally agree 😂 ridiculous logic.

I wonder how many people have glass of wine occasionally then turn into raging alcoholics? Does that mean nobody should ever enjoy a drink?

StealthMama · 23/04/2020 15:39

Do it. It will bond you as friends for life. But don't let him think it means he can crack on whenever - it's a one off.

SpoonBlender · 23/04/2020 15:39

There's been at least one PP saying it, but just to reiterate as it's important - edibles can take half an hour or more to kick in - do not keep eating them wondering why nothing's happening. Eat one or two and chill. Last time I did they took 45 minutes.

Mumtobe193 · 23/04/2020 15:41

@Krong agreed! Too many people seem to think illegal = bad, and legal = fine and acceptable, when the reality just isn’t as black and white as that at all.

Sunnyhopefulness · 23/04/2020 15:43

Nope - the only time I did that age 19 my boyfriend of the time was holding me up to stop me falling into a busy road

LocalHobo · 23/04/2020 15:43

If, and I know it is a big if, your DS develops psychosis, or indeed any instability, will you be able to live with your role in encouraging his experimental experiences with cannabis? I couldn’t ...

Bashfulbanana42 · 23/04/2020 15:44

Dunno really. My sister is 48 and did abit of weed and whatever as her son grew up. She still smokes it in every fag now. Her son started smoking weed in his teens. Moved onto drinking and trying other things. His mum was the reason he was daring enough to try these things.

He's now 28 and serving 5 years in prison after years of abusing his body and attacking his partner. 7 years ago his girlfriend died from trying a certain drug.

I'm not saying your son is naughty for smoking weed or trying it lol. I know it's a normalish thing to do now and it's fairly harmless. But small things lead to bigger things and all that.

My parents were the other way and scared us away from anything like that. Never tried weed in my life. I'm probably really boring???

I personally wouldn't want to encourage it but it won't kill you!

LochJessMonster · 23/04/2020 15:47

Just because something is 'illegal' isn't a blanket reason to not do something.

^^ apparently this is the result of drug use Hmm

Original poster
Ilovethebeach89 · 23/04/2020 15:48

Wasnt expecting so many replies! Ds has done it before a handful of times. I would say we have a very good open relationship. He has told me stuff all throughout teenagehood. Even when he lost his virginity etc and other personal things. I was honest with him about my opinion on weed. I said I had no real issue with the odd use as I dont think it's much worse than drinking excessively. His mate gets it from another mate who is part of a bigger group and I'm sure they do it alot more often but ds has told me he doesnt want to be a waster. We regularly drink in the house together. Not sure why someone brought up previous posts about what job I may or may not do? It's hardly relevant is it? Does anyone on here give 100% accurate info out? You are foolish if you do 🤔
I'm even more confused now though. Think I will see how lockdown progresses.
Thanks for opinions though!

OP posts:
tootiredtoconga · 23/04/2020 15:50

I'd be wondering how his mate has managed to get hold of the stuff during lockdown

Seriously? I don't imagine most drug dealers are sticklers for the rules Grin

jackdawdawn · 23/04/2020 15:50

My ex had a real problem with cannabis which he smoked, ate etc since his teens. He was dependent on it.

I'm not saying that your son would be the same, but do you want to be the person who introduced him to it?

It's like anything else - if a person has underlying issues or a bit of a void in their life they may develop an unhealthy reliance on something. Plus as other posters have suggested, there is a rare risk of triggering psychosis.

Plus, of course, it is still illegal, so if either of you took a fall or something while high and needed medical attention you'd have to admit to taking/supplying it.

Bashfulbanana42 · 23/04/2020 15:52

P.s I also used to work in a pharmacy doing needle exchanges and dealing with methodone prescriptions. It's a very sad world. See regulars for years. Some died. Some for beaten up. Some had kids and I can only imagine the sad life they were living. They walk around like zombies drinking cans in the sun. Got absolutely nothing. No family who trusts them. No jobs. Nothing to show for being 30 upwards. One died last year.... A dad of two. He ended up with a flesh eating bug in one of his injection sites. He actually was a nice lad and I could see he wanted to be normal but it had a hold of him. It made his teeth black and his face thin. I can only imagine most started with weed.