Child care and work

[Pippinsqueak]

Going to try and keep this brief

Husband and I are key workers (health)

His job role is stable in a hospital, mine is community based and varies from day to day even pre corona.

So far I've been scrapping for work at home ( as per government guidelines) so I can look after 15 month old but this is no longer possible long term. My work are saying that I could be working from home and asked to go on visits at a drop of a hat or I could be required to work in another setting etc. But actual work is very limited and I spend most of my day twiddling my thumbs.

My usual childminder would take her but she will be the only child there and child minder would have to self isolate from her family due to 2 of them having health conditions.

Or

My work is saying I have to place my daughter in emergency child care setting provided by the council.

This goes against every fibre of my being as I won't know any of the staff, they won't know my baby, we re not permitted to have a look around the place because of infection control, there will be no settling in period etc I feel like I'm being asked to dump my child with strangers in the middle of a pandemic. She's 15 months old, not the best eater at time, is rocked to sleep but thrives at her usual childminders.

I have asked to be furloughed or something similar as I don't expect to be paid to sit at home and look after my child but at the same time can't afford not to bring in a wage. Before anyone says it yes I know other people are in the same situation and no my child isn't special (but she's my world).

AIBU to feel uneasy about dumping her in to emergency child care in the middle of a pandemic ?

Or am I totally justified to feel this way but have to do it anyway?

Please be kind I've had a lot of stress over this

What about the suggestion from a pp of just waking you dh to cover childcare when you have to go out? I think that's what I'd be tempted to do. Can your dh try to take as many Fri and Sat night shifts as possible so he's around for more weekends?

If it were me I’d expect husband to adjust his sleeping hours and wake up for a bit when you’re on call! Very few people on nights have the luxury of sleeping all day!

Or use the nursery suggested. These are difficult times for everyone, ad hoc emergency childcare is a rarity (I have to pay a full month of fees in advance to keep my child’s place!)
They will be used to settling new toddlers and she may enjoy the stimulation of being around other kids.

Op do you have room to get live in childcare from a young person au pair type or nanny?

The the childcare. If the emergency childcare is at private nurseries ( which I know is what they were trying to do to keep some afloat in Scotland anyway) you could ask around on Facebook in advance re the ones on the list.

Could you find an alternative place? I know you like your childminder but this is likely to be a long term issue so good to find somewhere that is open that you like. I'm sure many would be flexible to offering childcare to families of new key workers.

Sorry your employer is being so bad. I work for a local authority and if we can't work because of childcare issues we get paid. Legally you can take it unpaid. So can your other half.

@Pippinsqueak. Would your childminder recommend another childminder you could use?

I had thr same problem OP, school for 2 of them but the youngest would need to go to a nursery with strangers for 40 hours a week so we decided to hire a nanny instead. This way all of them stay at home and I know they are wll looked after in familiar surroundings. Its costing a fortune but at least I don't have to worry and onde this is all over, I'll still have my job as opposed to resigning and being a SAHM

If the night shift worker was the mother there wouldn't even be a question here - dad would work from home and then if called out would wake up his partner. If the visits are not daily that is the obvious solution.
(How could you expect your cm to isolate from her own family for one dc?)

Sorry for the late reply,

We've come to an arrangement. My childminder is going to only look after my daughter when I'm required to go on a call out and my husband is working.

Things will have to change when he goes back on nights (he's doing a couple of weeks of days), but I don't know what I'm doing from one day to the next so who knows what will happen.

This keeps my work happy, and protects the welfare of my child.

I’d expect DH to get up if I had to go out if it’s an infrequent as you say.

If work need you to work and are sitting emergency child care then it’s either work or resign in reality if you aren’t allowed to take unpaid leave or won’t.