Is my sister right to be upsets with me?

[Kyliesgoldshorts]

My dsis got married last August and left her and her daughters bouquet of flowers at the grave of our grandmother who died 15 years ago. The flowers were still there at Christmas and had gone bad. I left them there and placed my own Christmas wreath.
The 1st Feb was our grandmothers birthday. I went to place flowers and the Christmas wreath and now badly rotten decomposing wedding bouquets were still there.
I know our large family would have visited on the birthday so I removed all dead flowers cleaned up leaves and twigs lying around from the winter and placed a fresh new bouquet of flowers. Before I binned the wedding flowers I took a couple of personal things from them to give to my dsis.
Two days ago I remembered I hadn’t told my days and mentioned to her that I forgot to tell her on granny’s birthday I placed fresh flowers and removed all dead/decomposing ones but kept a sentimental thing from her wedding bouquet and her daughters bouquet. My dsis went mad at me and was upset saying I shouldn’t have removed them. She wasn’t wanting them taken away her. It was a personal thing and I shouldn’t have interfered.
So up until lockdown she has not been to the grave. Even on the birthday (I was there at 8.30 as I had a meeting that day which meant I wasn’t able to go by afterward as I’d be home too late)
She said she goes regular and is v v upset that I took her wedding bunch away. But unless I told her she still wouldn’t have known. If she was so upset and angry I removed them why hasn’t she asked who did it? She only found out because I told her I took them away and kept the sentimental thing which i will give her lockdown is over.
I know she would have been upset to see them decomposed/wet/rotten and thought I was avoiding this upset of her seeing them and thought I did a kind thing keeping the sentimental thing to give her as a keepsake. She is not answering my calls, replying to messages despite reading them. I can’t apologise anymore and have had a couple of sleepless nights feeling awful. I just wanted the place to look nice and well attended to to family visiting on the birthday. My sis can be very attention seeking and likes to make a big deal of things.
Am I in th wrong should I have left them there or is she being over dramatic?

You absolutely did the right thing in making the grave look nice for when others visited. I would have thrown them away at Christmas when taking the wreath.

I would just leave her alone now. You have apologised enough. I would be awaiting her apology. She is being ridiculous.

What is she thinking! Rotten flowers can’t stay there indefinitely. You did nothing wrong, she’ll get over it. The flowers had been there long enough and it would have looked horrible for others visitors. We have a named and dated flowerpot for my Nan at our local crematorium and I’m pretty sure the grounds keepers there clear away badly rotten flowers (from people who can’t visit often). She’s lucky it was you that binned them so that a few sentimental bits could be saved.

I would rather a grave have nothing than rotting flowers! She is being ridiculous and childish. Ignore her until she comes to her senses.

She’s just kicking off because you did something she should have done long ago. Let her stew.

Stop apologising! You have done nothing wrong! In fact, your sis is the one who should be apologising - leaving slimy brown rotting flowers on the grave will look awful and like no one cares. Turn this around on her - how dare she leave the grave of someone you clearly all care about a great deal in such a disgusting state! Stop pandering to this brat!

Definitely drama llama territory. She’s putting her guilt at leaving mouldy, festering flowers on your gms grave. Ignore her.

The things that’s bothering me is our dm lives 2 streets away from cemetery. My dm looks after dsis daughter two/three days a week. She said I removed a personal and sentimental item that she placed there and wasn’t ready to deal with it yet as she was so attached to GM. She is a regular and aware of the state of the flowers but her memories of her special day and taking them off gm was too much for her to bear yet. HOWEVER from the beginning of feb until Monday when I told her she was none the wiser they were gone.
I am beginning to see I’m right as not one single person here agrees with her, however she will have all the sympathy of our cousins and aunts as she will play the victim that I done a bad thing.

Your sister is being a brat and a knob. She should be thanking you. She sounds immature and ridiculous. YANBU. I’d tell her to shove it up her arse until she grows the fuck up.

@elloellovera

That has cheered me up and made me laugh. “Shove it up her arse”’

She’s playing good sister/bad sister. Don’t engage.

I would counter any remarks with the facts. You removed them weeks ago and she didn't even know, because she hadn't been near the place.

Drama queen. Let her at it.

Let it inform you going forward in how you behave towards her.

You never have real peace in your life if you allow people who like drama in.

August?! Did I read that right? She’s bonkers. I’m also quite surprised the council didn’t clear it after a month or two, they usually keep on top of these things to keep it a clean and peaceful place for people to visit. Grief does funny things to people but this sounds more like an internal family politics issue.

You did the right thing and obviously care very much about your GM. Don’t give it another thought.