Is my sister right to be upsets with me?

[Kyliesgoldshorts]

My dsis got married last August and left her and her daughters bouquet of flowers at the grave of our grandmother who died 15 years ago. The flowers were still there at Christmas and had gone bad. I left them there and placed my own Christmas wreath.
The 1st Feb was our grandmothers birthday. I went to place flowers and the Christmas wreath and now badly rotten decomposing wedding bouquets were still there.
I know our large family would have visited on the birthday so I removed all dead flowers cleaned up leaves and twigs lying around from the winter and placed a fresh new bouquet of flowers. Before I binned the wedding flowers I took a couple of personal things from them to give to my dsis.
Two days ago I remembered I hadn’t told my days and mentioned to her that I forgot to tell her on granny’s birthday I placed fresh flowers and removed all dead/decomposing ones but kept a sentimental thing from her wedding bouquet and her daughters bouquet. My dsis went mad at me and was upset saying I shouldn’t have removed them. She wasn’t wanting them taken away her. It was a personal thing and I shouldn’t have interfered.
So up until lockdown she has not been to the grave. Even on the birthday (I was there at 8.30 as I had a meeting that day which meant I wasn’t able to go by afterward as I’d be home too late)
She said she goes regular and is v v upset that I took her wedding bunch away. But unless I told her she still wouldn’t have known. If she was so upset and angry I removed them why hasn’t she asked who did it? She only found out because I told her I took them away and kept the sentimental thing which i will give her lockdown is over.
I know she would have been upset to see them decomposed/wet/rotten and thought I was avoiding this upset of her seeing them and thought I did a kind thing keeping the sentimental thing to give her as a keepsake. She is not answering my calls, replying to messages despite reading them. I can’t apologise anymore and have had a couple of sleepless nights feeling awful. I just wanted the place to look nice and well attended to to family visiting on the birthday. My sis can be very attention seeking and likes to make a big deal of things.
Am I in th wrong should I have left them there or is she being over dramatic?

I think your sis is being dramatic, rotting flowers on a grave would have looked awful, you were right to get rid of them

I dont get her point. Isnt it offensive to the grave and ur grandma to leave things decomposing like that? Ask her, "do u think grandma would be happy if u leave flowers decomposing outside her door? Or would she clean the place? Go visit the grave and apologise to grandma for leaving her place dirty"

Then ignore her, cuz she was disrespectful to the grave

Yanbu especially since she wouldnt of known you had tidied up your grans grave and only.found out you had because you told her you had

You did the right thing, your sister is one of these that finds a problem with bloody everything. I know, I have a SMum who is exactly the same. You did nowt wrong xx

Your sister is daft if she thinks cut flowers can last over six months outdoors over winter.
You did the right thing by tidying up the grave. You were very thoughtful to dig through the rotting slime and save a momento for your sister. She is being absolutely ridiculous.

Were they real flowers?

I only asked because usually the rabbits eat them long before they decompose.

But you ANBU - and she could well go regularly. Once a year is regular. She is just using it as an excuse to kick off for attention and to look like the "good child".

She's being ridiculous. If she genuinely wanted the decomposing flowers there she would obviously have told people since the obvious thing to do is to remove a load of dead flowers from a grave. (Even a passer by might have done it to be nice).

She sounds a self absorbed tit. Why would you leave manky rotting flowers on a grave FGS? I would have dumped them at Christmas.

So everyone bringing fresh flowers to the grave were meant to put them next to her smelly decaying bunch. She's being ridiculous

I'm another one who would consider leaving decomposed flowers on the grave to be disrespectful.

You did the right thing. That was good, kind and respectful of you.

Your sister’s misplaced anger is probably actually guilt - that she hasn’t visited, or cared.

She is being a drama llama and ridiculous. Don't pander to her anymore, just leave her to her sulks. You didn't do anything wrong.

Buy her a bunch of flowers and then tell her she has to keep them for the next 6 months or you'll be offended and refuse to speak to her

Don't feed her dramatics, just leave her to get on with her childish behaviour.
Usually the cemetery attendants remove old/rotting flowers to stop the graves looking unkempt. The flowers had been there for quite a while so wouldn't have looked pleasant. You did right in removing them. If your sister wants the grave to look untidy, well she's being disrespectful.

Your sister is a massive drama queen.
Don’t give her the attention and she’ll soon come crawling back.
Take it from someone who knows!

Deranged.

Ignore her.

Silly bat. Point out that leaving rotting flowers on the grave indefinitely would have been really disrespectful.

Don't pander to her anymore - dead flowers make a grave look uncared for. You did the right thing.

I agree with throwing the flowers away, but you should have left whatever the 'sentimental thing' was at the grave

She’s lucky that the graveyard workers had not moved them. Our local cemetery has it written into the rules that dead flowers will be removed if the family don’t sort them. In the meantime just ignore her

@Wearywithteens she did t post on fb but made sure everyone knew the flowers wee going to the grave. I thought it was a lovely thing to do. I think the reason she has kicked off is because she know the grave would have had visitors on then birthday and she wanted everyone to remember what she done but now she knows I removed them they’ll not have seen them there.

The sentimental things were a ribbon rides round them (it’s all mouldy) and a horseshoe and a charm pin. (A safety pin with old new borrowed blue little charms on)

I should’ve just a binned the lot and never mentioned it instead of keeping the things. She’d have assumed the council threw them and been none the wiser but I couldn’t do that.

You prob made her feel guilty she's not been in a while, that's the real reason. Ignore her. Also once lockdown is over most cemetery & churchyard gardeners will be mowing & tidying again etc so they'd have gone eventually anyway.

I think there is nothing worse than decomposing flowers on a grave for months on end , she feels guilty because she didn't go up and sort it herself.

OP,
Of course you did the right thing.

She sounds like a spoilt brat, just looking for something to get upset about.

Leave her too it.

Why do you enable her by chasing after her?

Back away.

You chasing after her with multiple apologies for doing something so reasonable, just feeds her ego and the drama she thrives on.

Leave her to her drama.