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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about my lodger

189 replies

WH1SKERS · 20/04/2020 22:12

I’ve had a lodger for the last two years. Just before lockdown started she moved in with her boyfriend and gave me 4 weeks notice that she was officially moving out ( that’s what’s in her contract ).

So she stopped paying rent yesterday and was supposed to be here today to collect all her things. When she went to her boyfriends she left almost everything here - her bedroom is jam packed with all her clothes and make up, food in her kitchen cupboard and the fridge, bathroom full of her toiletries, jackets and shoes in the hall, plants in the living room etc etc .

She didn’t turn up. When I messaged her she replied that she can’t come to collect her things because of lockdown and she will come at another time when lockdown is over.

I pointed out that she is the one who has chosen to move out during lockdown. And she can’t just leave her stuff here, keep my house keys and pay no rent. And that moving your things out at the end of a tenancy is an essential journey, because she has no right to leave it here.

She has refused to come for it.

She says IABU because the new lodger doesn’t move in until June . But I was hoping to redecorate her room and buy some new furniture (because she has broken it ).

Besides I don’t think that’s really the point. It’s not my job to store her stuff for free.

AIBU?

What should I do ? How long should I give her to collect her belongings ?

OP posts:
Intelinside57 · 22/04/2020 18:40

There's nothing to be anxious about. People are allowed to move.

MulticolourMophead · 22/04/2020 18:41

I wish people would RTFT. Or at least read OP's posts and updates. (You can change your settings to highlight an OP's posts, you know).

Then they'd see that OP has had legal advice, and it's looking like OP and ex lodger are likely to come to an agreement.

Missdemeanor98 · 22/04/2020 18:43

I think you need to find out leagally where you stand as a landlord. Contact shelter and seek advice.

Intelinside57 · 22/04/2020 18:43

And - for everyone still advising Op on what to do - RTFT. She's taken legal advice and is following it FFS.

RenoSusan · 22/04/2020 18:54

I think you might text her that you have a new lodger coming in and you made sure she is the former lodgers size for convenience. Don't come for anything but new lodger has agreed to wear her clothes and use her make up rather than boxing the stuff up. If it is still here by May 1, don't bother to come for it.

Areyouhavingapoomum · 22/04/2020 18:59

I'd box it all up and leave it on your drive after notifying her. If she doesn't collect it, she can't want it so much.

Hopefulworker · 22/04/2020 19:08

Honestly, I think you are being a bit unreasonable. It’s annoying for you, but she is just respecting social distancing. One of my friends has just come down with COVID after doing something similar (collecting belongings from a house share)

00kitty · 22/04/2020 19:17

I would find a storage company offering 30 free days local to you and put it all in there and advise her that is what you are doing tomorrow and box it all up - I imagine she will swiftly decide it is an essential journey after all

Yellowshirt · 22/04/2020 19:20

Have you asked her to pay for the damages?

Mittens030869 · 22/04/2020 19:30

Those still telling the OP YABU/YANBU clearly haven't read the thread. The OP has already had legal advice and is arranging things amicably with her ex lodger. Hopefully it all gets resolved soon, OP.

Jack80 · 22/04/2020 19:52

Bag all her stuff up, put it outside and say she needs to come and collect and drop the keys off.

RichPetunia · 22/04/2020 20:03

Personally, because of lockdown I agree with the (former) lodger. She shouldn’t be coming back to collect her belongings till lockdown is over. I know of sheltered housing where old people have died due to the Coronavirus and rent on their rooms has been frozen, rather than accumulating, because staff know families cannot clear things out at the moment.

Poppi89 · 22/04/2020 20:03

YANBU BUT does she need a van? Maybe there are no removal vans currently working?

Winter2020 · 22/04/2020 20:25

I agree with a previous poster - bag and box up her stuff as best you can and put it into the shed. Leave the broken furniture out in the weather. Let her know but her stuff should be ok for a few weeks.

Now things have become a little difficult between you I wouldn't go out for the day while she collects her stuff in case you come back to any surprises.

Wilkie1956mog · 22/04/2020 20:26

Give her one week out of courtesy to collect her stuff. Then dump it into bags and put it outside if she hasn't collected it. Once she is no longer paying rent for the room she has no right to use it for anything, including storing her belongings.

Original poster
WH1SKERS · 22/04/2020 22:59

To the PP who asked if she needs a van - no she doesn’t, she has a car.

@RichPetunia

Personally, because of lockdown I agree with the (former) lodger. She shouldn’t be coming back to collect her belongings till lockdown is over. I know of sheltered housing where old people have died due to the Coronavirus and rent on their rooms has been frozen, rather than accumulating, because staff know families cannot clear things out at the moment

Had the lodger died I would not be charging rent to her family to store her belongings. But she hasn’t died, she has moved in with her BF.

And I don’t live in a sheltered housing , so there’s no danger of being exposed to the Covid virus by coming to collect her belongings. I have already arranged to be out for the day so I won’t see her. I’ve not been in her room touching her things. If she’s worried about catching it from the front door handle then she can wear gloves / wash her hands. Just like she does when they leave the house for a walk or go to the supermarket.

And the sheltered housing is a large commercial business, which I’m not. I’m just an ordinary person trying to pay my mortgage.

If the lodger doesn’t want to come for her things and still wants the use of her room , I’m happy to store them for a few weeks . Just not for free and by agreement.

OP posts:
Rachel709 · 23/04/2020 01:31

T here has to be an actual law about this situation so I would find out before doing anything. I think it is reasonable to give her 24 hours notice that you are putting her stuff outside though unless she pays rent.

Original poster
WH1SKERS · 23/04/2020 02:03

There’s no law, only guidance.

The guidance says ideally landlord and tenant should agree to delay the move date . I’ve offered to do that and she’s refused.

Guidance says if you have to move, observe social distance . I arranged to do that and she didn’t turn up to collect her stuff .

OP posts:
alliecader · 23/04/2020 09:23

We're not allowed to move house despite having exchanged contracts right before lockdown (in Scotland exchange is more final than England/Wales). I'm surprised so many here think it is ok for this lodger to come and collect her stuff. If moving house from one you no longer legally own is deemed non-essential, and we're still all supposed to be in lockdown unless key workers or unable to work from home, I don't see that this qualifies, in the UK at least. All over the world people are stuck in hotel rooms with just the stuff they had with them when the lockdown started.

alliecader · 23/04/2020 09:31

I should add that the professional body for removal companies in the UK deemed that closure during the lockdown was the correct thing to do and there is no way on earth any reputable removals company would operate at the moment, so presumably that applies to many storage companies too. It is not possible for people moving heavy items manually to respect social distancing.

I assume the stuff the lodger has is less cumbersome than this, but it's a piece of general information many people here may need to know, since their experience and understanding of lockdown seems to be less serious than mine.

Willow2017 · 23/04/2020 09:49

She’s not a bad person, just immature, messy and a bit entitled. She clearly though that I wouldn’t re let the room for some months, so she had plenty time to work out if she wanted to move in with her boyfriend long term ( shes a beautician so she’s furloughed until the end of June)

So she moved out but expected you to kerp her stuff for free till she decided if living with her bf was going to work?
Wow! Dont let her dither about make a date thats convenient for you and tell her to be there. Young or not she has to take responsibility for herself.

Thehop · 23/04/2020 09:59

I think you’ve been incredibly understanding OP. I’m afraid I would charge her something for the damaged furniture, though.

Buggedandconfused · 23/04/2020 10:14

Crikey I don’t understand why you gave her deposit back if she’s damaged the furniture!

I would pack up the stuff everywhere else in the house and put it in her room. Unless you can legally enforce her to come I don’t see that you have a choice.

cannockcandy · 23/04/2020 10:51

Tell her that while she has your keys and has all her stuff there she is still classified as living there and therefore she has 2 options. Come by a specific date to collect her shit and give you back your keys or she pays the rent. Simple.
I had a friend have to do a similar thing back in the day and surprisingly her "friend" turned up the next day to collect her belongings. Similar distance away too.
You are not a storage facility.

Original poster
WH1SKERS · 23/04/2020 11:22

@CannockCandy

That’s pretty much the legal advice I was given. I gave her 21 days notice from when she should have moved out to remove her belongings or pay rent.

I think everyone is hopeful that there will be some reductions in the lockdown restrictions before then.

Of course if she still feels very strongly that it’s impossible to travel, then she can choose to pay rent. It would be a shame if she felt that it was unsafe for her to travel or that it was against her principles to do so.

BTW before anyone asks - no she’s not shielding , nor is her BF, nor is she sick or in a vulnerable group, or a carer for her 94 yo diabetic granny.

She was happy to use lockdown as a reason when it was costing me time, money and inconvenience and saving her.

Let’s see if she feels so strongly about it when it’s costing her money.

I find that some people are very keen on sticking to their principles when it’s a hassle for other people. But less keen when it inconveniences themselves.

OP posts: