Anyone had a baby at 18?

[Cherrychops100]

What was your experience and any advice? I'm expecting my first little one so please no 'wait until you're older' as it's already happened

I was 19 and it is tough in the baby sense, in other ways I didn't go out clubbing and not many friends anyway so I wasn't fussy. However after having dc I did grow and realised I did want those things. I didn't want to just work and stay at home not doing or experiencing much. First few years it was rare that I went out but I did enjoy it when I could. By early mid twenties I had a great group of friends, hobbies and enjoyed the occasional night out. I have still managed to achieve a lot despite having a dc at 19 so don't ever feel that this is it for you. My dc is almost 10 and we have a great relationship and I am getting on with life, not yet 30.

@notthemum
Thank you so much for your lovely message I have a really lovely family nurse who used to be a teenage pregnancy midwife, she's an older lady (I get on better with older people as opposed to younger people) and she is lovely! I feel really supported x

My mother did. And had her second at 20. She resented it. And didn't we know it.

But as a PP has said, if you have your kids early, then by the time they're more independent, you are still young. At 36, your child will be 18. You could retrain and go on to have a stellar career in whatever you wanted at that age. Unlike me, who had mine in my early 40s and will be in my late 50s by the time they're independent. No re-training time for me!

So I would say go for it, but make sure you don't resent your kids for it, because they will know, and it will be to the detriment of your relationship. They don't ask to be born; they don't demand it of you.

@birdlady12
Thank you! I have one close friend who I met in hospital and she is lovely I know she may not stick around but she loves children and always asks how I am and seems genuinely interested in little bump. I've never had a lot of friends but she's the one that's consistently been there for me x

Chuffed to hear that OP! Best wishes

I had my DC when I was 19. He was an easy baby and I didn’t find things to difficult. When he started school I went to university. I didn’t get to go to travel but have been fortunate to have many holidays with my DC. I had 2 more DC in my late 20’s and early 30’s. I did enjoy having my own nice big house and no money worries but the actual looking after a child bit was no easier.

I had my dd at 16

My advice would be, look after and look out for yourself, and always put your child several thousand miles before men

I had my first at 18, he's now 30! (second DC at 20) The first thing I'll say is, it doesn't mean you can never go out and have fun! I had a lovely babysitter who lived next door and I used to go out once a month or so with friends. It's not the end of your social life. Other times I'd have a friend round or go visit someone. Having a baby doesn't chain you to the house.

I wasn't in a position where I would have been going off travelling or off to Uni anyway, so I didn't feel I "missed out". I did go to Uni later, got a decent job etc. In fact having DC made me want that more so I could provide them with a decent life.

Due to the age I had them, I was "free" from around my late 30's and I've more than made up for not travelling previously. I've been to so many places now. Both with DC and without. I had basically zero support and 2 close in age but I managed just fine. Of course it was hard at times, but older 2 parent families find child rearing hard at times too.

For me the very best reason to have them young, is that I have so many more years with them. My DC have grown into great adults and I love their company. I'm hoping for many more years together!

I had my eldest in my teens. I'm lucky in that I found out that I actually really enjoyed being a mother (bookish only child with no experience of babies)

Her dad was an utter dick. Most of the hardship came from him. Take my advice and put your child first and yourself second and let the men take care of themselves, because trust me they won't need telling twice.

Sometimes I look back, and I see how long I've been a responsible adult for and it seems exhausting, and I wonder how I've even got this far. I had my second and last child with my husband recently and am in my late twenties now.

I've bought a lovely house, married a wonderful man, went to university and have a job I enjoy, and I have plenty of good plans for the future. I did lose a lot- it would be foolish to claim otherwise - but I gained more than I lost. Life is good, happy, and fulfilling. I love my family and I like who I am. It is not an easy road, but it's far from the worst one.

The other thing you need to remember is that some people are largely full of shit and will have numerous comments to make on all of your life choices, more so when the choice is three foot high and very visible. You need to develop a thick skin asap and make up your mind to ignore any comments that come your way. Remember these people aren't the ones living your life and making your choices for you - only you do that

But for God's sake, keep up your education or employment and don't be a soft fool over men. Do that and the rest will follow