Anyone had a baby at 18?

[Cherrychops100]

What was your experience and any advice? I'm expecting my first little one so please no 'wait until you're older' as it's already happened

yes, and it was fine, not ideal and not what I would advise but it was fine! We both survived and I went on to have more. You can do it and you will!

When are you due? I’m 20 and due my first in July. I full intend to go to uni in September!

@MunaZaldrizoti
I actually was in hospital for eating difficulties and depression, that's why I wasn't able to go to college. I have a fantastic midwife who I see every 2 weeks, I'm under a consultant and have growth scans every month, and a check in with perinatal mental health services every month too, I feel very supported. And although wanting a purpose isn't a reason to have a baby, they weren't planned. Everything happens for a reason and I feel like she's my reason to carry on, she is my motivation

@AnnaC2020
Aww congratulations! Do you know what you're having? And what are you going to study? x

@lockeddownandcrazy
Thank you

I gave birth 3 weeks after my 18th. I’m now In my 30’s.
ImI had a lot is support from my parents, but an abusive father who drank too much. We wasn’t together at first but got into a relationship and moved straight in together when the baby was 1. If it wasn’t for that mistake it would of been a lot easier.
I done a lot of underage partying, and once my baby got to around 3 I met some new friends through nursery and had a pretty
Good social life for a few years. Luckily my parents would babysit and I eventually ditched the abusive boyfriend. So I’ve never felt ive missed out on anything.
In hindsight, I’d of waited and done some girls holidays, or weekend trips ect as I’ve never been away for a weekend or been abroad without my kids. But I was on a bad path and probably would never have done those things anyway. Having my daughter probably saved me from going off the rails.
I had an2nd mid 20’s and now know that I was a much better mother second time round due to being more mature and patient and able to make better choices.
Of course 18 is not ideal but it’s fine as long as it’s what you want and you have help. But that goes for any age really.
Oh and I also left school with no qualifications but gained some as an adult.

DS1 was born when I was 17 (he's 13 now!). I don't regret a thing but it's bloody hard. You'll be knackered all the time and won't get much downtime however the joy he has brought to my life has far out weighed anything else.

@bunnyrabbit93
Thank you And I'm still living at home and have a great relationship with my mum, she's like a best friend to me which I'm thankful for x

You'll be fine.
Don't let anyone put you off.

When I was in hospital after giving birth to my youngest, age 38, and exhausted there was an 18yo woman on my ward. Within three days (we were in scbu) of giving birth, she had a enviable flat stomach and was beautiful, in crop top and shorts! I was a fat exhausted leaking mess.
It's rarely said and is almost taboo to say, but the human body is designed to give birth at your age. You will nounce back in a way older women can only dream of, physically and mentally. That certainly doesnt happen to those who give birth in their 40s, like a lot do nowadays.

Don't forget you'll love your baby more than anything ever before, that makes it all worthwhile.
And you'll only be 28 when he/she's 10. Only 38 (which isn't old. My cousin had first child at 43) and your DC will be 20.

Don't regret anything. I wish I did it your way.

Had my 2nd at 18. I was with the DF for over 10 years after DC came along but wouldve been much better on my own looking back.

It was hard and I had very little support but I loved it. Best thing I did was learn to drive tho, made life so much easier. We spent so much time in our little car exploring beaches, old castles, fields parks everything really.

I also went to college then uni when both kids started school. But if anxiety is what stopped you before, I recommend the Open Universtiy. You can get fee grants depending on your income so you can study at home. That's what I'm doing now (just had another 2 babies). And alot of their degrees dont require set qualifications to apply, you can do them whenever.

I was a home bird like you, but as I got older I actually did start to feel like there were things I missed out on. If only someone told me before kids I could've applied for a job in Orlando florida disney land my life might have been different...

My friends who have just had children say they envy me, so I don't know which way is better

I think this is the thing there is never a 'right' time to have children. You just have to make the most of any situation you're in.

You're either too young and don't have a lot of money and want to travel the world and date whoever you want etc, or your older and don't have as much energy or feel guilty that you will be quite old even though they are still quite young.

I didn't have a baby at 18. Just had my first at 32! but I have/do suffer with anxiety and I must say having him has helped me alot. I'm not as shy because i can't be really, I'm his voice too now and he keeps me so busy I don't have time to worry as much as I did before.
Good luck I'm sure you'll be a great mummy 😊

@Clockonmantlepiece
Thank you so much for your support. I'm not trying to pull the wool over my eyes but I would so much rather hear a positive experience than a negative one. I'm fully realistic about everything but the way I view it is; I'm going to have a child at 18 and the only way forwards is to make the best of it and be positive

I was 17, I didn't find it that difficult to be honest. I had my mum who helped loads.

My son is 20 now and at university. He's amazing! I'm also 6 months pregnant with my second boy and it feels lke I'm a first time mum all over again haha

@thebearwentoverthebumble
Thank you And yes, that's what I'm thinking too, I know it's not going to disappear but there will be things that I 'have' to do, for her. I won't be able to avoid situations that cause anxiety, so I'll have to just get through it, and hopefully that will help, there'll be no time to worry about silly irrational things.

@BarBarBarBar
Baby is having my surname

@LittleBoyJuly2020
Aww congratulations
Yes, I still live at home and me and my mum are quite close, and I know that she's going to be a massive help, even if it's just taking her for 10 minutes so I can have a quick shower, I'm so grateful that we have a good relationship x

Having a baby at any age is hard work, the descriptions on here made me think of my first at 33, currently 3 weeks from my second and friendships have changed. You don't have as much freedom so your life goes on hold so really it's no different at 18 or older.
You said in your other post you have a supportive mum. Who I think will be your main support.
From the previous post, your partner has a lot of growing up to do. I think the main thing you need to remember going forward is you and baby come first.
If it doesn't sit right with you then don't do it.
I saw your update where he avoids your mum for no reason, that's his issue not yours.
Don't let him bully you or guilt you in to doing anything you are not ready for.
Stay where you feel safe and supported and you and your DD will thrive. Xxx

@Cherrychops100 yes a little boy! And social work :) I’ll be going when he’s 6 weeks old. I think being young makes you more determined to get far in life x

I am from the other end of this - my Mum had me when she was 18. Her and my Dad are still together and I have younger siblings (we are all in our 30s now).

My Mum says that whilst she did ‘miss out’ on certain things, she feels like she has gained it back now as she was much ‘freer’ in her 30s than many of her friends and only late 40s when her first grandchildren were born - she feels like she is enjoying them much more and have much more energy than she would if she was a lot older.

Essentially - there’s a plus side and a down side to becoming a parent at any age. There’s no perfect time, just the right time for you. Good luck!

I was a couple of months off of being 18. I was with baby's dad for 7 more months. Lots of things happened and he went to prison for a few weeks. I took our child and moved out. My child lived with my parents for a few years. As soon as I could I had the child back. We have been through a lot together, laughed and cried. People used to ask if we were sisters when we went on a night out. She is now an adult with children of her own. She has been through a lot of crap over the last couple of years but she is doing well and she is my world. I am so proud of her. I wish things could have been different when she was small but we got there.
Good luck OP. I hope everything goes well for you.
Do join baby groups if you can. I never did but now would always advise new mums do to so.
A couple more little things. If you need help ask for it. If someone offers advice don't feel you have to take it if it goes against what you believe. Hopefully you will get a good health visitor I hear they are much more human these days. Ask them if they know of any paediatric first aid courses you could do. Hopefully you will never need it but it may give you some confidence in yourself just knowing that you can cope.
Finally look after yourself. Be kind to yourself and try not to worry about the little stuff. 💐 Best wishes.

I did. I still went to uni and got a first, I’m an English teacher now so I didn’t do too badly in life. Also own a home and I’m married.

I didn’t really miss clubbing and such because I never liked it anyway. Obviously inevitably made uni more difficult than if I didn’t have a child but I still did it.

@strawberry2017
Thank you for your message. And yes, I completely agree that baby and my own well-being come first, if I'm unhappy and not doing well because I'm trying to accommodate my partners childish thinking, then baby isn't going to thrive and be happy. The train station is 5 minutes from my parents house so there isn't an excuse for him not to visit, it's not like I'm suddenly upping and moving to the countryside where it would be impossible to visit. I've spent too long thinking I'm not worth it/good enough to waste time arguing if he refuses to grow up. I am good enough

I had my DD at 19. It was hard and a reality check but I had a good support network. I did seem to lose all my friends as they were still out partying and I was the only with a child. I wouldn’t change anything though. I’m now 34 and my DD is 14. We have a great relationship and I’m living my ‘carefree’ but not carefree years now. Congratulations x