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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Was he unreasonable??

75 replies

Year6teacher754 · 17/04/2020 19:10

Sorry to make another thread. I know I put this in my previous thread but I'm so appalled by it that I thought I would put it in it's own thread:

I have just been to Sainsbury's, I had my 21 month old in the trolley. The security man (not employed by Sainsbury's, he was employed for an outside agency!!) at the front of the queue was trying to get me leave my 5 year old on the bench next to him while I went in and did a big shop!!! I asked for the supermarket manager to be called down. He arrived within 5 minutes TBF. He said that there was no restrictions on taking children into the store. He allowed me to take my 5 year old in. My Husband works at the same Sainsbury's as well and he said that the security man was "Unreasonable". He works in the same Sainsbury's and I seen him half way round so I told him then. Before anyone says anything, my husband couldn't do the shopping after he finished work because the shop shuts at 8pm but he is working till 9pm, therefore I had no option but to take my children with me.
Does anyone else think that the security man was unreasonable???

OP posts:

Stronger76 · 18/04/2020 10:26

Fuck me OP, your dh works in Sainsburys and your 18yo dc works in Asda, and BETWEEN THEM they couldn't organise groceries to see you through to when someone is able to stay home to look after the younger kids so you (an additional adult risking bringing cv home) can go to the shops?

This is so much more than was the security guard being a prick, you are for putting your kids through going to the supermarket because two other competent adults can't manage to pick up a bag of shopping on their break.

YABVVVU. This is why Britain is looking at having the most infections/deaths in Europe. Idiots.

dontdisturbmenow · 18/04/2020 10:28

So explain why you had to take him and couldn't wait for your husband to finish his shift and shop then, or even during his break and you could just have picked it up?

amy85 · 18/04/2020 10:32

If I was in a 2 parent household I wouldn't be asking my kids shopping ...

Original poster

Year6teacher754 · 18/04/2020 10:32

@dontdisturbmenow
My husband finished work at 9pm and the shop shut at 8pm. The staff at my DH's branch have been told that they cannot shop during their 3 15 minute breaks.

OP posts:

Laaf80 · 18/04/2020 10:37

Could he not have gone in earlier to do the shopping? Do it on his day off? Pop to another later opening shop after his shift?

Or is he one of those men who cannot be trusted to do the shopping?

I get single parents but otherwise no children should be in the shops just now.

amy85 · 18/04/2020 10:38

One of you could have gone shopping before he started work

cookiemonster5 · 18/04/2020 10:43

All other supermarkets I know if (worked in 2 and have friends work in another 2) allow staff to either shop before the end of their shifts or leave a till open for them to do their shopping after their shift. Even night shift can do their shopping before they leave and the store isn't open yet so it's surprising Sainsbury's don't do the same thing.

I wouldn't leave my child outside at 5 years old.

Stronger76 · 18/04/2020 10:44

As a minimum he is LEGALLY ENTITLED to a 20 minute break if working for 6 hours or more. I assume he's working 12,13,14 hour shifts if he's leaving an hour after the store closes and not able to do his shopping before his shift starts. In which case remember he's also LEGALLY ENTITLED to 11hrs rest between shifts.

Is he is a union? In these unprecedented times I cannot believe that he or your other 18yo dc are being prevented from doing a bit of shopping for their family.

I call bullshit and ridiculous excuses to deflect from the fact you've been called out for needlessly taking your two younger kids to the supermarket.

slummymummy35 · 18/04/2020 10:58

Yep, you were totally unreasonable. Sorry but you had no need to go to the supermarket at all! My husband works in sainsburys and he does all the shopping before, during or after his shift for not just us but also our parents and the elderly lady across the road. Sainsburys staff are allowed to do their own shopping in breaks! I stay home with our kids and am very grateful to be able to do that.

SD1978 · 18/04/2020 11:19

The security guard was unreasonable with his request, and you were also given you have two family memebers who could have and should ah e been able to shop.

DontStandSoCloseToMe · 18/04/2020 11:24

Leave the children with your eighteen year old, DH and I are both frontline keyworkers, I did our shopping Wednesday evening after a twelve hour shift to avoid taking DS to the shops. You're not all working fifteen hour days seven days a week

Rosebel · 18/04/2020 12:56

Two adults working in two supermarkets so you had no excuse for taking your children. One of them could have picked up food to last a couple of days until you could do a big shop alone (or your husband could on his day off).
If you were a single parent fair enough but this is just bad organisation.

FrankieDoyle · 18/04/2020 15:00

YABU. You didn't need to take the kids.

ilovesooty · 19/04/2020 15:42

You have two adults working in supermarkets who can shop. There is no need for you to shop with your children.

YerAWizardHarry · 19/04/2020 15:45

Although the security guard isnt a sainsburys employee the contract will still be with them! I'd imagine the company was likely MITIE as they have a lot of the sainsburys contracts

jane1956 · 19/04/2020 16:01

I went to local Sainsbury on Friday to pick up medication. I am 64 so although i arrived at 8.30 couldn't go in until 9am. Finally allowed in got essential bits and went to pharmacy tofind it shut at 9am! only opened at 8am but shut at 9am until 10am so had to go after paying for shopping and walk about for 30 mins until I could go back in. Have tried to complain on line to sainsbury but no where to do it.

Griselda1 · 19/04/2020 17:11

He'll have been given instructions by the manager, there has to be some sort of initial briefing. I'd guess he's been told to try and keep children out but it's easy to sacrifice the security guard when questioned.

Scarlettpixie · 19/04/2020 17:30

Why on earth are you taking a 5 yo to the shops when there are 3 adults in your household?!

Single parents have no option but you do, you are just poorly organised.

Of course the security guard was unreasonable but then you already know that as the manager agreed with you.

No I would not have left a 5 yo with the security guard but then then I wouldn’t have taken them to Sainsburys either if I had 3 adults in my household!

sunshineandshowers21 · 19/04/2020 17:42

normally i’d say yanbu but i find it strange that in a household of 3 adults - 2 of whom actually work
in a supermarket - not one of you could find time to go shopping alone so yes, yabu.

Rosebel · 21/04/2020 01:24

Jane
What are you complaining about? Presumably there was a reason the pharmacy was shut.

Kyliesgoldshorts · 21/04/2020 01:37

Security man was being unreasonable.

However you have two other adults working in supermarkets and have come up with every excuse as to why they can’t pick up a basket of shopping for thier own home which makes no sense. Also Sainsbury’s and Asda do delivery and shop and collect. There was no need to take your young kids out.

Kyliesgoldshorts · 21/04/2020 01:43

Actually on second thoughts, maybe security man wasn’t BU.
Maybe he knows your dh works there and knows there was no need for you to be there. I imagine he gets abuse most of his shift and agree with a pp who said this also.

HugeAckmansWife · 21/04/2020 06:51

kylie delivery / collect slots are v hard to get plus should be reserved or left for those who need them. I agree the op didn't need to take the kids for the big shop. If they were desperate for basics she could have got milk, bread and beans at a corner shop or even at Sainsbury but a quick in and out and leave the other adults to do the big shop.
Also to the pp who mentioned the coughing child...possibly a single parent with no support network or social media local group. Not everyone has someone they can call on. Plus, it is v possible that the child just has a cough. Maybe she has no temperature, hay-fever etc.
Also 'should I have took them' from a y6 teacher'??

Stompythedinosaur · 21/04/2020 06:54

I can't understand why you took the dc shopping - I think you should be planning shopping around times there is a second adult available to watch your dc.

LGY1 · 21/04/2020 08:40

The fact he isn’t employed by Sainsburys actually makes it easier for them to “do something”
The Store Manager can simply call the security company and say “he isn’t working out, I want a different one!”

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