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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was he unreasonable??

75 replies

Year6teacher754 · 17/04/2020 19:10

Sorry to make another thread. I know I put this in my previous thread but I'm so appalled by it that I thought I would put it in it's own thread:

I have just been to Sainsbury's, I had my 21 month old in the trolley. The security man (not employed by Sainsbury's, he was employed for an outside agency!!) at the front of the queue was trying to get me leave my 5 year old on the bench next to him while I went in and did a big shop!!! I asked for the supermarket manager to be called down. He arrived within 5 minutes TBF. He said that there was no restrictions on taking children into the store. He allowed me to take my 5 year old in. My Husband works at the same Sainsbury's as well and he said that the security man was "Unreasonable". He works in the same Sainsbury's and I seen him half way round so I told him then. Before anyone says anything, my husband couldn't do the shopping after he finished work because the shop shuts at 8pm but he is working till 9pm, therefore I had no option but to take my children with me.
Does anyone else think that the security man was unreasonable???

OP posts:
TheCanyon · 17/04/2020 21:45

Course you didnt

Original poster
Year6teacher754 · 17/04/2020 21:46

@thecanyon

Unfortunately I didn't have a choice. You don't understand my situation.

OP posts:
Iadoremylabrador · 17/04/2020 21:52

Your name implies you're a year 6 teacher yet you used the phrase 'I seen him'.

That makes me think you made it up. If you didn't make it up then obviously the security guard was being unreasonable so why start a thread asking if he was? Hmm

Original poster
Year6teacher754 · 17/04/2020 21:54

@ladoremylabrador

I haven't made it up, thank you. I made the thread to see what other people would have done in this situation.

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 17/04/2020 21:54

Of course that’s awful. Which branch was this?

Original poster
Year6teacher754 · 17/04/2020 21:56

@sparklesocks

I won't say what branch because that says where I live near, unfortunately.

OP posts:
Iadoremylabrador · 17/04/2020 22:15

I haven't made it up, thank you. I made the thread to see what other people would have done in this situation.

You posted in AIBU. There is a WWYD topic in case you didn't know.

Your thread is also titled, 'Was he unreasonable??'

At the end of your opening post you put, 'Does anyone else think that the security man was unreasonable???'

I must have missed the 'what would you do?' part of your post, title and topic choice. Hmm

MintyMabel · 17/04/2020 22:44

Does anyone else think that the security man was unreasonable???

The manager said he was, who else’s opinion are you looking for?

nowiknowmynoodles · 17/04/2020 23:00

I agree you were unreasonable taking the kids. Your husband doesn't work 7 days a week and he could surely pick up stuff before or after his shift. Why are you exposing your kids to the virus when you don't need to

Howyiz · 17/04/2020 23:42

Why couldn't your husband do the shopping before his shift and bring it home after? Or you could have gone in the morning?
The security guard was being officious but he is probably shit sick of people bringing kids in unnecessarily.

RedHelenB · 17/04/2020 23:46

Your dh could have shopped in his break so yes yabu.

Rosebel · 18/04/2020 00:12

Your husband is already at risk so it would make more sense for him to do the shopping on his day off. Why expose,your children more than necessary?
Yes,the security guard was unreasonable as you already know but so were you.

Original poster
Year6teacher754 · 18/04/2020 09:14

To everyone saying I shouldn't have took my children:
Unfortunately I did have to take my children as there was no one at home to look after them.

OP posts:
majesticallyawkward · 18/04/2020 09:17

The security guard was unreasonable to ask you to leave your child with a stranger.

But, YABU to take them. You didn't have to, your husband could shop another day when he finished earlier, during his break, before work or on a day off. There was no reason you had to go with a child.

HandfulOfDust · 18/04/2020 09:19

There should be a standard policy. That said I would assume the policy would be leave the child at home if possible (or outside if another adult is there - there's no need for families to shop en masse) but not to leave all children outside. Single parents need to shop too and most won't be comfortable leaving a young child with an unknown security guard who will presumably be doing his job and not looking after said child anyway.

Stronger76 · 18/04/2020 09:23

What would I have done?

Told my husband to use his break to buy enough groceries to put us on until one of us can stay home with the kids whilst the other goes shopping.

Supermarket shopping with kids is crazy enough without cv. Of course the security guard needs speaking to (and wtf, dodgy as fuck) but really, is your dh so incapable of picking à few bits up on his break?

dontdisturbmenow · 18/04/2020 09:23

Are you serious posting your outrage at someone wanting to protect your child and other customers when you let it out that your oh works in that same supermarket and could do the shopping himself. Workers have allocated time to do their own shopping.

This has to be a wind up or you get in the top 5 of the most unreasonable people posting today.

fessmess · 18/04/2020 09:31

I was in Tesco the other day. A woman was shopping with a young child who COUGHED THE WHOLE TIME. Now THAT'S unreasonable.

mum11970 · 18/04/2020 09:31
  • To everyone saying I shouldn't have took my children: Unfortunately I did have to take my children as there was no one at home to look after them.* No, you should have organised your need for shopping better. Single parents HAVE to take their children shopping. People who have another adult living with them need to organise themselves better. In answer to your question, yes the security guard was unreasonable to ask you to leave your child with him but you were also unreasonable in taking your children to what, I suspect, was really a visit to daddy at work or a shopping trip they should never have needed to go on.
TriangleBingoBongo · 18/04/2020 09:34

No way would I have left my child with a total stranger.

Original poster
Year6teacher754 · 18/04/2020 10:09

@mum11970
No I wasn't taking them to visit their Dad at work!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Year6teacher754 · 18/04/2020 10:09

@TriangleBingoBongo

OP posts:
Original poster
Year6teacher754 · 18/04/2020 10:10

@TriangleBingoBongo
Exactly.

OP posts:
Original poster
Year6teacher754 · 18/04/2020 10:12

Just so everyone knows I wouldn't have took my children unless I had to. I know how at risk supermarket workers are because my DH works in Sainsbury's and my 18yr old DD works in Asda.

OP posts:
EL8888 · 18/04/2020 10:19

You didn’t NEED to go yesterday, you wanted to go which is different. I doubt your husband works 12 hours a day and 7 days a week. I think the security guard was over zealous but being realistic supermarkets aren’t a place for children at this time.

You can’t be the woman in Sainsbury yesterday with the 2 children, the older of the 2 wouldn’t do as she was told, was getting into other peoples space and touching everything Confused. As wrong age and sex