To take my son to Tesco with me?

[ACupOfTeaSolvesEverything]

He’s 8. We really need to do a big shop, I’ve put it off as long as possible. DH is unwell (not covid) and in no position to look after him. He usually comes with me and is a good boy. Will Tesco turn me away?

Given there is another adult in the house then I have voted yabu.

DS is autistic and DH is pretty much knocked out on pain meds but thanks for all your judgment.

8 is old enough to be left at home with dad in bed.

Would have been useful to say that in your OP then!

I wanted to know if I could take him in the shop. Not a critique of my parenting.

I don’t think anyone was critiquing your parenting you invited opinion on a situation but left out a key factor of your son being autistic.
People were attempting to give you reassurance that they would be ok leaving their same age NT children with an ill parent to avoid placing the child in a stressful and more dangerous situation of a supermarket.

No one was critiquing your parenting that I can see, they were merely suggesting that it would be fine to leave him at home. As you have now explained why you can’t , I’m sure you’ll get different answers.

With regard to shops letting you both in, it seems to vary from shop to shop annoyingly. I hope you get on ok.

But before taking an autistic child I would remember that it’s very different than supermarket trips as he will know it and will probably involve a lot of waiting and queuing.

Even with your added information it would still be a very last resort for me

I think maybe my original post could have been worded better to clarify then. I wrote in haste, forgive me.
I wanted to know if I could take him, not if I should take him.

We went to Tesco and he was ok, he loves rules, even pointed out to a few adults that they weren’t following the rules properly...

As a vulnerable single parent I had to take DD6 to Big Tesco this morning (as soon as it opened). Only downside was the £££ she added to the cost, with me guilt buying all her selected crap as I feel bad she's missing her friends and school. Needs must 🤷‍♀️

You can do it certainly

Although... surely you can bung him in front of a film? If your DH is that bad, he should be in hospital!

* We went to Tesco and he was ok, he loves rules, even pointed out to a few adults that they weren’t following the rules properly...*

Bloody hell!

If his autism means he is less reliable than the average 8 year old (and with autism it can go either way) then you perhaps should have mentioned it in your opening post.

If you do have to take him I'd suggest waiting til about now as it gets quieter.

X post

Assuming you have a good excuse for not leaving the child at home with your husband, then take the child if you must.

At the present time children can be a nuisance in a supermarket.

Ha ha. Op. Read your last post. Good for him. Bless him. My youngest gs has highest level autism and could not be left alone with an ill parent. He is non verbal and extremely hyperactive. A woman told my daughter she shouldn't have taken him in the shop. My daughter told her that she had no idea about their circumstances and she should mind her own business. Personally I would have told her to fuck off but I'm mardy like that. 💐

Malvinaa81 OP has already explained why

DS is autistic and DH is pretty much knocked out on pain meds but thanks for all your judgment.

Nobody was judging you at all.

You didn’t vanillandhoney but there were a few harsh comments. I had just come home from the shops and felt a bit got at when I saw some of the responses. Perhaps a bit of a knee jerk on my part. I’ve got coffee now so normal service (thicker skin) should be resumed shortly

Enjoy your coffee!

We went to Tesco and he was ok, he loves rules, even pointed out to a few adults that they weren’t following the rules properly...

Sounds like my son

And for what it’s worth, I don’t see anyone judging you here, including me. It’s actually been quite restrained for AIBU given the amount of hysteria lately... I’m glad it went ok anyway. My son is quite anxious about getting ill and probably wouldn’t like a trip to Tesco at the moment (he usually likes to help me with things) so I always leave him behind but I’m lucky that my partner is working from home and I’m able to do that. If I was still a single mum it really would be a struggle!