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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take my son to Tesco with me?

72 replies

ACupOfTeaSolvesEverything · 17/04/2020 14:13

He’s 8. We really need to do a big shop, I’ve put it off as long as possible. DH is unwell (not covid) and in no position to look after him. He usually comes with me and is a good boy. Will Tesco turn me away?

OP posts:
gamerchick · 17/04/2020 14:39

I think maybe if you were honest you want to have a bit of 'normal' time with the bairn going shopping and him pushing the trolley like you always have. I understand that but it's different at the stores atm. I really wouldn't do it unless it was desperate and no other choice.

But we all make our own choices.

Watertorture · 17/04/2020 14:41

I would leave my 7 year old in this situation. He would hardly notice I had gone! If there is a proper emergency (fire etc) would be my worry, but if there is an adult in the house who could call for help that covers that.
I would not bring my dc to a large shop if I did not have to. No way would he not wipe his nose or something for one thing.

CelestialSpanking · 17/04/2020 14:49

you can take him they don’t people with young children away to my knowledge, but how much looking after does he actually need? I’m not being arsey by the way- my son is the same age has ASD and ADHD so I’d have to make my own judgement call. His sister I absolutely would have left without hesitation.

vanillandhoney · 17/04/2020 14:51

You can take him but surely he can stay at home for an hour while you pop out?

Even if your DH is unwell, surely he can just sit and watch a film?

Porcupineinwaiting · 17/04/2020 14:53

You could, but I think it would be less risky to leave him watching tv. If your dh is already so sick, the last thing you need is coronavirus in the house.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 17/04/2020 14:59

Ah leave him at home , let his watch TV . His Dad is there .

An 8yo will need the loo after 20 minutes ! (I know my DS would've done )
And get bored because it's not a fun shopping trip.

And "an hour" is quoted in lots of posts ......depending on the queues you will have travel there/queue time /shopping/queue to pay . Could be longer .

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 17/04/2020 15:09

Id leave him home at 8 too, that’s old enough to be able to follow instructions and there is an adult home albeit unwell. I’d only take a child to the supermarket currently if no other choice whatsoever to eat.

Fluffybutter · 17/04/2020 15:11

He can go with you but my just turned 9 year old is fine to be at home if there’s an adult present, yes he’s unwell but how much supervision does he need for an hour ? Stick a film on for him or let him play computer games or something

Dishwashersaurous · 17/04/2020 15:12

What ‘looking after’ for an hour or two does an eight year old need

AllTheWhoresOfMalta · 17/04/2020 15:16

I got told by an over zealous security guard in my local supermarket that having my two children with me was illegal the other day. I then said a) no it’s not and b) they can’t stay with their father. The SG then took the opportunity to try and loudly shame me in front of the rest of the queue for being a single mother. I took great pride in telling him at that point that their Dad was actually unavailable because he’s a Key Worker- as am I- and that we were taking it in turns to be on our own with the kids due to essential work. His face was a picture. Some people really are proving to have been given too much power during this whole debacle.

AvoidingRealHumans · 17/04/2020 15:19

They aren't turning parents with children away, I think its more when the whole family rocks up that they ask one adult stay outside with the kids which is fair enough.
I've just got back from tesco with my 5 year old, it was fine.
I left my 9 year old home alone and he sat on his game, kept in contact via phone. Mine is definitely mature enough to stay alone for an hour but all children are different and the age doesn't make a difference to it.

If you feel he can't be left home then take him, they won't turn you away.

lunar1 · 17/04/2020 15:19

I'd leave him in front of the tv if your partner is home.

Hamsterian · 17/04/2020 15:28

You can take him, but you don’t have to, so you shouldn’t. It’s quite clear you just want to take him out and helping you shop as in your usual routine. It is safer for him to stay at home. And safer for all of us, because it is one less person going out unnecessarily.

KitchenConfidential · 17/04/2020 15:28

Can you really not leave him at home??!!

WickedlyPetite · 17/04/2020 15:30

Unless his dad is unconscious, you're taking him unnecessarily.

But nobody's going to refuse you entry into the shop.

nellythenarwhal · 17/04/2020 15:32

I'm surprised that an 8yo wouldn't be ok without supervision for an hour or so- especially if you have a games console or tablet/laptop/Dad's phone with YouTube.

Insideout99 · 17/04/2020 15:34

The shops wouldn't turn you away but he's safer at home. Can he not stay in the same room as his dad and watch TV/play on a tablet?

crustycrab · 17/04/2020 15:37

Why can't he stay at home?

islandofdoom · 17/04/2020 15:39

I have managed to avoid having to go shopping but if I need to I will be taking my 11 year old with me. Even though he is 11 I would not leave him alone. The supermarkets let children in.

GinDrinker00 · 17/04/2020 15:42

I’d leave him at home. Not like he’s a toddler or nobody in the house.

EverdeRose · 17/04/2020 15:48

While they'd let you in, I think it would be far safer and easier to ask your son to watch a movie quietly and leave him at home with your husband. If you feel that he's not able to be trusted could you nip to a small local shop and just get enough for a day or two and leave DS in the car? Or have a takeaway if money isn't too tight?

It's not the behaviour of your child in a supermarket you need to worry about, it's the others who are shopping, either when they're not well or not social distancing properly.

SusieSusieSoo · 17/04/2020 15:48

My ds7 and I went to Sainsbury's earlier in the week. They were fine with him. He was really scared in the store, there were people with masks on, some shelves empty etc. He said he felt really sick (anxious). I would go a long way to avoid taking him again. I'm a single parent, usually get a Tesco van delivery but can't get a slot after today so have now ordered locally for fruit veg meat & milk & will try & rely on friends for things like cereal & bread once our stocks go down. I would much prefer to leave him at home even if the adult was ill.

Imboredinthehouse · 17/04/2020 15:48

He’s 8
DH is at home, he doesn’t need to go to Tesco with you. Just stick a film on.

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/04/2020 15:50

Leave him home.

Fluffybutter · 17/04/2020 15:56

I’m assuming as op hasn’t replied that she’s gone shopping with him

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