Rules re. leaving the house **Title edited by MNHQ**

[Trying2611]

To cool of for serval days after an argument at home? AIBU to think that people are going to find a way to manipulate this rule by using it as an excuse for a holiday to see friends for a week then returning home?

Definitely. This is a charter for everyone who wants to bend the rules, to do so. Remember though, that the rules can be tightened up at any time, so - as ever - it will just need a few people to take the @£$% for everyone to suffer the consequences!!

My friends been coming to mine most days.

She is in walking distance so no public transport.

She is alone in the world. No family. I'm her only friend. She has severe mental health problems. A history of suicide attempts. An extensive history of self harming.

Her 2 sessions of counselling a week have been cancelled (individual and group)

She has no one.

I figure the risk is minimal as she literally leaves her houseand walks here. That's it. She brings her dog so she doesn't even stop in at shops.

I don't know if it's allowed but I'm not sure she would still be here if at the beginning of lockdown I told her she was banned from my house.

I didn't see anything wrong in meeting up with a friend anyway. We are both single parents with no support network in this country, both have been strictly isolating for 5 weeks now, not even going to the shops or for walks. It is clear that both our households are covid free, cant see a reason why we can't drive to spend some time in each other's houses for the change of scenery.

Since when is this ‘new’? the legislation has clearly stated right from the beginning that A reasonable excuse for leaving the house is to prevent harm. Now of course the devil is in the details and of course there will be people who take the piss, but I’d much rather this than people being unable to leave for their own safety.

@Watertorture

No it isn't. There was already legislation in the COVID bill covering domestic abuse.

These guidelines have been issued because of the kind of reasons I gave in my previous post.

A Mum with an aggressive non NT teen who is increasingly difficult to manage being cooped up but could go to his sisters for a few days or the rest of lockdown.

Someone living in a shared house where the rest of the household are bullying them who can go to stay with their parents.

Or yes, a couple where there isn't abuse but they're arguing a lot and heading for a relationship breakdown due to the abnormal current circumstances and this could be prevented by having a break from each other.

The truth is that anyone could go to a friends now, it would be very unlikely you would be 'caught'. Thankfully most people aren't that selfish, and obviously I am not condoning it, but this gives those who are saying to spouses that they aren't permitted to leave the house because they will be arrested (another form of control) the knowledge that it isn't the case.

i said people would misinterpret this but apprently noone is stupid enough not to realise its for DA

ok then

Water where does it say its jsut for da though-says arguments thats it

Because it's not @Gabsalot.

DA was already covered in the legislation.

I would imagine that this is also designed to stop relationships that have always been a bit rocky from descending into abuse under the added pressure of lockdown.

It's probably also been put in place to stop usually healthy relationships having large cracks start to develop in them, which wouldn't have developed had the usual coping mechanisms been available; no one wants to see the divorce rate go up after lockdown.

Salmonpasta I don't understand what you're saying - that this isn't a foolish title? That the rules are the same? What?
The title is foolish.

Those people would bend the rules anyway. This is to keep people in awful situations safe. The lack of understanding and empathy in some people is astounding.

@ShavedNowColoured What you're doing is balancing up risks; from what you've said the MH risk is greater to your friend than the risk of COVID. Presumably no one in your household is at high risk, and you're willing to accept a slightly increased chance of getting it.

Due to work I've found myself driving a lot lately, usually around small residential streets doing deliveries. I've seen a fair few groups of neighbours sitting 2m apart, drinking wine and nattering. I honestly can't see the problem with that sort of thing.

I fear what this lockdown will do to the nation's MH; certainly I have friends who are struggling right now.

I think the "rule" is absolutely fine; I think the click-baity thread title is irresponsible.

@ShavedNowColoured I think that if you were ever challenged on this you'd be able to cite the care element. She's travelling to you, but you are providing care, when all's said and done.

I think these ‘tweaks’ to the rules are because the government want people to continue to catch it but they need this to happen slowly and in a controlled way without relaxing lockdown.
It’s the only thing I can think of because this guidance has only muddied the waters.

You could lockdown for a year the virus is still there with no cure or vaccine and no one exposed to it so everyone vulnerable .

The point of lockdown is to slow down transmission to a level that the NHS can cope with. In all likelihood we will be in lockdown on and off until one of these two things happens:

1- we have herd immunity i.e. so many people have had it (or died from it) that there is little transmission still happening. We won't know this unless we risk opening things up or we have mass tested everyone with an antibody test.
2 - We get a vaccine available to everyone.

Unfortunately, we can't all stay in lockdown indefinitely or the country will go bankrupt. So the Gov is likely to ease the lockdown to allow economic activity to resume. How they do it, will depend on what happens the first time they do. I imagine they'll be watching how other countries do it it to see what happens. Unfortunately, because of the 7-14 days time lag between infection and illness, it will be a slow process of watching how releasing lockdown impacts the infection rates.

@TiredofSM or because the lockdown needs to continue to save lives but that certain tweaks are needed to ensure that whilst lockdown continues it is safer and more manageable for people in particular situations.

Sachastark that's a joke right???!!!!! Surely you wouldn't want your friend arguing with her husband. That is so bloody stupid inventing lies and creating issues. I mean, seriously

Sachastark. I assume it was a joke as I re read your post and just realised you were joking about the cracked teapot and so on. Lol. Or I hope.

Salmonpasta, what do you mean by a dp or older teen to go somewhere else.

This is the problem. People are allowing their older children ie teens and young adults to rule the roost and throw strops. That would never go down in my household. A teen is still a child living under your rules.

I feel so sad for all these kids stuck in abuse situations just as much as the parents. It's horrible. The government should be doing much more.

On the plus side, I have seen a lot more women on MN, leaving advice posts for getting out of an abusive marriage and relationship, and skedaddling while we are in this pandemic

I don't think anyone should be meeting anyone. I actually had a friend recently going to the beach and outings with her baby niece and toddler niece. I was quick to think the bad, that she shouldn't be meeting them let alone going for outings. However I shouldn't have been so quick to judge. She had to have her as the mother was In hospital and had no choice but to look after them and the trip to the beach was actually for a walk for exercise. They live 3 mins from the seafront. I didn't say what I was thinking, mind you I acted like I thought they were all living and shielding in the same household.

Meeting up with anyone outside your household shouldn't be allowed or attempted. This is why we are on lockdown to get the socialising put on pause and to look for the next strategy. However I think it will be a good while before we are going out again. Things aren't looking good and I'm seriously distressed because of it.

You’re a dick to even question this OP. It’s clearly been introduced to let women living in abusive homes know that it’s ok for them to leave and go somewhere safe. And take their children with them.

@Watertorture Yeah the title is maybe a little misleading but as I said, these aren't 'new rules' and DA is already covered in the legislation so that isn't what is being discussed here.

@SpokeTooSoon Nope. That's already in the legislation.

@Hanamuslim, so if it came to a major clash and neither of you would back down, well now you both know that your teen can leave, during lock down. Rather than a teen thinking this means that they can push things, because there's nothing that you can do. Or a parent thinking they can ramp up the control.