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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To send DS to school next week.

74 replies

Lalalalalalalalaland · 16/04/2020 21:58

Really unsure what to do!

DS is 6 and has severe ASD and attends a special school. We have 2 Neuro typical DDs.

For info we pulled our children a week before schools shut because of Coronavirus, none of us are classed as at risk though DS does have sleep apnoea.

Today the head of his special school has phoned and offered for DS to go to school next tuesday and Thursday, she said she was only extending the offer to a dozen families who they considered would benefit most (DS was preciously on a child in need plan due to us struggling to cope with some very severe behaviour and his dad having a breakdown nearly 3 years ago, he has been off the plan for 2 years)

I am torn, we are struggling, he is not getting any of his usual sensory diet and would really benefit from this, however I don't want to put our family or the school staffs family at risk.

Head said max 5 people in the room. But will most likely just be DS and 2 staff members, possibly another child if their parents accept.

Class has its own playground and equipment and lunch will be a packed lunch from home eaten in the classroom. School day will finish at 3 to allow time for cleaners to deep clean.

I need to let her know by noon tomorrow but i keep flitting between taking the risk for his welfare as he is struggling to have his sensory needs met and is having increasing bad behaviour, and not wanting to risk him and the staff.

OP posts:
Lalalalalalalalaland · 16/04/2020 22:00

Didn't realise it had voting.

I suppose YABU - don't send him
YANBU - send him

OP posts:
Quartz2208 · 16/04/2020 22:01

It is a difficult choice but it does sound like the two days at school would help him and you

Magicbabywaves · 16/04/2020 22:03

Send him.

mineofuselessinformation · 16/04/2020 22:03

The staff there will be very careful about minimising any risk to him (and them).
So, if you think he would benefit (or even you, for having a bit of a break), send him.

BogRollBOGOF · 16/04/2020 22:04

School have made the offer, and it sounds like it would be beneficial to you. Smile

Featurewall · 16/04/2020 22:06

Send him Flowers

BuffaloCauliflower · 16/04/2020 22:06

Send him, it sounds like you all need this

JustOneSquareofDarkChocolate · 16/04/2020 22:07

My children are going two days per week.
It’s working really well.

ooopsupsideyourhead · 16/04/2020 22:08

I’m a teacher - and SENCO. Send him. The most important thing at the moment is everyone’s health. That includes mental health, and it sounds like you all need some help to rebalance.

LegoLady95 · 16/04/2020 22:09

My DS has also been offered 2 short days next week at his special school. He is 12 with some very challenging behaviour so I said yes in a heartbeat, for the sake of his younger siblings.

Neolara · 16/04/2020 22:10

I'd send him in.

YouTheCat · 16/04/2020 22:13

I'd send him. If this pandemic had hit 12 years ago when my severely disabled and challenging ds had been living at home, I wouldn't have hesitated.

Chochito · 16/04/2020 22:13

Send him. (Teacher here).

DDiva · 16/04/2020 22:14

I dont have any knowledge of special needs.

Are you having difficulties managing at home ? If so send him. If not I wouldn't add extra risks to your family and the school.
All children would benefit from schooling now, its just about balancing the risk.

Lalalalalalalalaland · 16/04/2020 22:15

Interesting legolady95... perhaps some guidance or info has been given to heads regarding what to do with challenging children long term? You are about the 4th person I've seen who has been offered this for next week.

I'm glad to see I'm not unreasonable to send him, just had so much 'stay at home' drummed into me i don't want to leave our little cocoon

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user1000000000000000001 · 16/04/2020 22:16

My 5 year old is in for similar circumstances. If it has been offered I would take it.

ShesGotBetteDavisEyes · 16/04/2020 22:16

Send him and don’t feel guilty. All kids are going to have to go back at some point and the virus will still be around. Your ds will have minuscule risk right now with just him and a few others and it sounds like it would be really beneficial for him and your family.

Tattiebee · 16/04/2020 22:17

Send him, it sounds like it will do both you and him the world of good. It's a really challenging time, and his slice of normality will probably make all the difference.

LonelyFromCorona · 16/04/2020 22:18

Go for it. Nobody vulnerable in your household. Hopefully both you and DS will enjoy the break from each other. As always, even before you withdrew kids from school, just watch out for symptoms and be prepared to isolate as a household if needed.

Lalalalalalalalaland · 16/04/2020 22:19

DDiva

We are managing, and would continue to manage if it wasn't offered as we don't have much other choice.

It's not really schooling, he's not learning his ABC or phonics or maths as he doesn't have that level of understanding, however at a special school it is more healthcare, he has therapies there which obviously he has not had for near 5 weeks now.

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parietal · 16/04/2020 22:19

send him in. it will be good for him and for the rest of the family.

Fuzzybumblebee · 16/04/2020 22:22

Sounds like it will benefit you all, please don't feel bad for sending your child it's a very unusual situation we are in and is even more challenging for those with extra needs so any help for you is great

Soontobe60 · 16/04/2020 22:24

Send him, but I'd ask for Monday and Friday. Also, I'd ask them to provide him with activities to do at home, and suggestions to keep up with a sensory diet, plus any resources you may need to support this.

Soontobe60 · 16/04/2020 22:25

Here's some ideas.
www.sensorysmarts.com/sensory_diet_activities.html

Lalalalalalalalaland · 16/04/2020 22:29

Tuesday and Thursday are the only days on offer, apparently to break the week up.

The school have been great and sent lots of sensory activities and have checked in all over Easter, however its hard to get him to comply or follow instructions to do things as his understanding level is so low, we have the paddling pool and trampoline which have helped

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