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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get pee'd off when DP takes ^my^ money??

46 replies

kitsandbits · 14/09/2007 09:29

I had £8 on the side and it wasn't there this morning - I asked DP and he said he had took it to use at work!

Now i wouldnt mind if he asked but to just take it?? Id never take his money without asking!!

And before you all think 'aww but he only wants to buy a drink at work' consider the fact IVE been scrimping, saving and begging for money for the last 12 months for the wedding ...he finally brings a bit of extra money in and whyyy is he skint now and needs to steal my £8 ...

because he just bought a £400 PS3

So AIBU??

I felt awful after he left and shouted him to give it him back - but I dont know if I was right or not1

OP posts:
GreatAuntieWurly · 14/09/2007 09:33

YANBU, dh does this all the time.

@ £400 for ps3

lulumama · 14/09/2007 09:35

ye gods !!

he has his priorities totally and utterly skewiff

£400 would have been a lovely amount to put towards the wedding... or to put away for a break or even a rainy day

i would make him take the sodding PS3 back

GreatAuntieWurly · 14/09/2007 09:36

sell his ps3 for £8, seems fair to me. Or send it this way I will give you £10 for it

Original poster
kitsandbits · 14/09/2007 09:36

To be fair there is another £400 coming from him for the wedding, but my point is Ive had nothing for the last 12 months - ive sold my beloved bugaboo for cash for the wedding, so i think the whole £800 shouldbve been wedding money!

OP posts:
Original poster
kitsandbits · 14/09/2007 09:37

He wont have it be sold - and hes got people coming round everynight to play on it - so thats all i watch evrynight - him pretending to be a soldier!

OP posts:
lulumama · 14/09/2007 09:40

you seem really down

TBH, he is soon going to be a married man, he is already a father, i know you are both young, so spending time with mates on the playstation is probably more appealing, but not if it is upsetting you

maybe he could do this with his mates twice a week, go out with you some nights, or just stay in and be together

Dropdeadfred · 14/09/2007 09:40

and this will be your married life if you don't kick him in the nads now and tell him to grow up!!

FGS you sold your pram for the wedding and have had numerous threads trying to save money, raise money etc..I can't belive his utter selfishness.

GreatAuntieWurly · 14/09/2007 09:40

hide the leads for it.

j20baby · 14/09/2007 09:42

kits {{hugs}}

stupid computer, stupid men boys, can't he just have one computer night for him and his friends?

maybe, you should leave the kids in their pj's all day, not clean the house, not do tea and when he comes home from work be playing soldiers yourself on the ps3

Original poster
kitsandbits · 14/09/2007 10:11

The thing that upsets me most is Ive been sooo worried about money - ive paid 80% of things off myself(!) - about £1000

but ive borrow small amounts from my nan, DPs dad & mu mum

and how does he think I FEEL when theyve lent us money because ive been crying with money worries then HE buys a £400 PS3 - MAKES ME LOOK LIKE A LIAR!

MIL finally gave us the money she owes - shes poor as hell and shes borrowed it from her 75 year old dad.

Whats she gonna think when she comes home and sees the PS3??

Ithink he was wrong to buy it - its made me upset - took valuble money that we need- and its disrespectful to EVERYONE thats helped us out!!!!

OP posts:
tiredemma · 14/09/2007 10:14

I dont understand men who waste money on bloody things like x-boxes and playstations. I find it ridiculous tbh.

Dropdeadfred · 14/09/2007 10:16

what does he say when you make those very valid points to him?
sorry but he sounds like he's being incredibly immature and selfish and i'd be worried this was a sign of things to come...

bossykate · 14/09/2007 10:16

sweetie, you really need to get this money thing sorted before you get married. YANBU.

OrmIrian · 14/09/2007 10:16

Dh borrows my money from time to time. Don't mind as long as I know. And I make him get it out of my handbag which always makes him uncomfortable ...just to discourage him from doing it too often

OrmIrian · 14/09/2007 10:17

BTW -re the PS3....flog it and keep the money. That is totally outrageous

Lauriefairycake · 14/09/2007 10:20

I think you seriously need to think about whether getting married is right for you at this time. I rarely post on here but I think even I have read about this PS3 about 4 times

How about a pre-marital counselling course ? Churches do them (and they don't talk about god in the sessions)

Do you really want to be one of the divorce statistics ??(I'm one of them so not slagging off people being divorced)

You say you have to watch the PS3 'every night' - No, you don't, you live there too. I can hear in your posts how much you love him - and it seems you don't put yourself first at all.

Never mind getting divorced, do you really want to be moving over to post in the 'Relationships' section for the next five years ?

ScottishMummy · 14/09/2007 10:21

kick his arse!!!did u not recently sell your bugaboo to raise for the wedding?he needs to prioritise if financially tight at the mo, and a £400playstation is not a priority it is fun

fireflyfairy2 · 14/09/2007 10:27

"He won't let it be sold"

Huh.. what's he going to do when he comes home from work & you have already sold it? Because, my love, if he were married to me I would have it up on ebay already!

Who does he think he is? Out spending cash on something he doesn't need. You sold something belonging to your child, something your child needed (the bugaboo) & he went out & bought a bloody ps3!!

If I were you I would seriously be having second thoughts about marrying a man who has his priorities all wrong! And I would also be asking myself if the wedding meant as much to him as it does to me.....

fleacircus · 14/09/2007 10:29

I don't know the history so please don't take offence (and no, YANBU about the £8 and no, you absolutely should not have to put up with watching boys play soldiers every night, it would drive me out of my mind) but - is the wedding something you have planned together? It is possible to get married for a few hundred quid but you mention £1000. Is this paying for the wedding you want or that you both want? Because perhaps from your DP's POV you're spending lots of money on the type of wedding you want and he deserves a treat too - i.e. this PS3. I'm not saying he's right, just that maybe in his head it works differently.

LazyLinePainterJane · 14/09/2007 10:30

Personally, I think that a bugaboo is as extravagant as a ps3. Now, yes, you sold it, and he should never have bought it in the first place, but FFF2, the child does not NEED a bugaboo.

What's all this "his" money and "your" money.

You share money now.

tiredemma · 14/09/2007 10:31

what the hell is a 'buggaboo??'

fireflyfairy2 · 14/09/2007 10:33

Lazy, I meant she needed a pram.

fireflyfairy2 · 14/09/2007 10:34

Emma,a bugaboo is pram/buggy.

tiredemma · 14/09/2007 10:36

Gosh- shows how long ago I had my kids!

fireflyfairy2 · 14/09/2007 10:37

I had to google... I just had a Graco when mine were wee