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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be absolutely gutted about derailment of secondary school dc’s education

83 replies

sunshineanddaffodils · 16/04/2020 11:08

I know why we’ve shut schools and I know it’s a necessity and the right thing to do. But I am selfishly so upset. Both at great schools that they’re happy at, lovely friends etc. DS is year 10 so GCSEs next year. On track for good grades, always done well, good friendship group. DD year 8 loves her friends, loves all the fun things her school does outside of lessons as well as enjoying lessons. I’ve not had to worry about them at all regarding school and just always been really happy for them both. Now I worry they’ll never get back to where they were and am feeling very sad about it today.
Just read this and I know I’m being incredibly self indulgent.

OP posts:
Uygop · 16/04/2020 16:21

I'm less negative about it. My DD is also in Year 4. I like that she's largely in charge of her own education now. She's working at things in her own way, on her own schedule. She's doing quite a lot of language work, is watching foreign language DVDs in the evening, is reading more than she used to. It's not a rounded education, but she's largely motivating herself. I've got her a couple of Skype lessons a week in her languages, which helps and makes her life more interesting.

Uygop · 16/04/2020 16:22

She's also helping more around the house, and just basically becoming a bit more of a grown up.

Uygop · 16/04/2020 16:23

If you can afford it, why not use a couple of online tutors, to help keep your dcs motivated and challenged?

Original poster
sunshineanddaffodils · 16/04/2020 16:25

It probably will be very variable between schools.

OP posts:
Original poster
sunshineanddaffodils · 16/04/2020 16:31

@Uygop I wouldn’t have worried when they were at primary school (not intended to undermine parents of dc at primary) as they literally have years to catch up and are learning much more general stuff that is much easier to teach at home.

OP posts:
cptartapp · 16/04/2020 16:47

Mine are years 10 and 12. Their missing education is a massive worry. And if Year 10's are assessed against some current year 11's who choose to sit GCSE's 's next year, that group will have had a whole extra year to prepare, thus disadvantaging current year 10's even further. Not a level playing field.

cologne4711 · 16/04/2020 16:50

On a brighter note as a secondary teacher I can't wait to use the line "look what happened to the 2020 class" if they are not working to their potential in yrs 10-12

how mean. The system uses terminal exams, which actually suits a lot of kids (and not just the boys, I was better at exams too).

I did actually work in my lower sixth year but a lot of people put the effort in only when the exams are looming and any other year they get away with it. Nobody would ever have predicted that a pandemic would have led to teacher assessment taking over and it's easy to be wise with hindsight. Anyway I'd argue that you know as a teacher who will pull it off on the day anyway, either by cramming or sheer luck or both.

cologne4711 · 16/04/2020 16:51

And I am worried about Y10 and 12. I do think people will just assume they can catch up in the summer.

Uygop · 16/04/2020 16:59

Sorry - I meant Y10 for my daughter (is S4 in Scotland). I just care more about skills and character building than about following the curriculum.

Dontcoughnearme · 16/04/2020 17:04

There are many only me resources for them to keep up if they really want to.

Porcupineinwaiting · 16/04/2020 17:05

YANBU to be upset and worried, that's totally understandable. But, doesn't it make you think how lucky we were? All those years when nothing happened to blast our lives off course in such away . No war, no famine, only sodding Brexit to worry about. We were safe. I dont think I'll ever take that for granted in the same way again.

Chloemol · 16/04/2020 17:36

It’s a life lesson. Not everything is perfect all of the time, things happen and this is one of them

TeacupDrama · 16/04/2020 17:44

at the moment they have missed 10 days or school with another 3 weeks lockdown that will be a total of 25 days they will catch up
my DD is 10 in P6 (Y5 in England) she is an only child she is missing real life time with friends she has plenty of whats app time
she was working via google classroom etc before Easter for 10 days
I'm sure with new BBC etc it will be better after Easter not as good as real school or as much new principles but I think children will learn different things maybe that they are stronger than they think, maybe that they can pursue other interests, maybe some will decide that learning away from school is actually easier

Snowboarder45 · 16/04/2020 18:07

YABVU your children are alive and healthy. I heard of a 10 year old who died last weekend from the virus. Count your blessings.

WhyCantIThinkOfAGoodOne · 16/04/2020 18:11

To be fair to OP she would be VU to insist that schools stay open because it's more convenient to her family but it's not unreasonable to be a bit sad about your own situation when other people are in much worse situations. I do think Y10 and Y12 are going to be the worst affected as the level of support or the ability to self learn will vary massively and there's little time to catch up.

AstonMartini · 16/04/2020 18:12

I am very sad about this too, OP. I have one child who should be doing A levels and one who should be doing GCSEs. I'm not worried about the grades so much - more about the fact that they are going to miss all the fantastic rite-of-passage stuff, have had to cancel all their post-exam plans, now don't have summer jobs, etc, etc, etc. Instead, they are stuck at home with me for God only knows how long, and with nothing concrete to do. Hardly the same.

ChicChicChicChiclana · 16/04/2020 19:40

What an utterly shitty thing to say to the OP @Snowboarder45. How can you even justify it?

CurlyMango · 16/04/2020 20:30

I am also concerned with y10 kids. They have been given masses of work and are really trying but it’s hard. We are both still working, not furloughed. Therefore four trying to work from home, it’s hard

Allington · 16/04/2020 21:57

My DDs are my adopted children. It is not a race to the bottom, but on a global scale to have a caring home with involved parents, qualified and supportive teachers, a well resourced school with additional opportunities...

They are in a tiny minority of very privileged children. A few months out of formal education is no big deal.

Rosebel · 17/04/2020 00:35

I worry about the social side too. My eldest has plenty of friends at school, only 3 that she's really close to but a lot of others who she is in touch with. Youngest nothing. Her autism makes her struggle socially but she did have 2 friends at school. One is moving away in the summer so may not see her again so I see her struggling more. The long break from others is going to make her worse.
It's okay saying children catch up, they'll be fine once it's over but how do you know that? I think a lot of children with special needs will struggle and quite a lot without special needs will struggle too.

worldsworststepfordwife · 17/04/2020 08:50

This doesn’t compare to other events this event means you can’t rely on consistency over the next 15 months from all the teachers that have responsibilities for y10 and 12 they could isolate repeatedly for themselves or a family member or in winter there could be capacity issues again and more lockdown. If dd was off another month ish then went back and that was the end of it I would be that bothered

worldsworststepfordwife · 17/04/2020 08:50

Wouldn’t

oohnicevase · 17/04/2020 08:54

@TheZeppo as a secondary teacher do you think most kids will get their target grades if they have continuously hit them in key assessments every quarter through out secondary?
I've read all the emails about how they will award them but I'm just wondering if you think that will be the case ?
Thanks

TheZeppo · 17/04/2020 09:05

@oohnicevase yes, I should think so.

We are going to discuss it fully after the holidays, but it has been made clear that we can use data (up to the point we finished), assessments, mocks and our best judgement. The exam boards will be monitoring to check it’s all fair.
If your child has been steadily achieving their grade, I can’t see why they wouldn’t achieve it.
But, as I keep telling my worried year 11s over email- the exam board will ultimately decide, so we all have to wait for results day!