To be absolutely gutted about derailment of secondary school dc’s education

[sunshineanddaffodils]

I know why we’ve shut schools and I know it’s a necessity and the right thing to do. But I am selfishly so upset. Both at great schools that they’re happy at, lovely friends etc. DS is year 10 so GCSEs next year. On track for good grades, always done well, good friendship group. DD year 8 loves her friends, loves all the fun things her school does outside of lessons as well as enjoying lessons. I’ve not had to worry about them at all regarding school and just always been really happy for them both. Now I worry they’ll never get back to where they were and am feeling very sad about it today.
Just read this and I know I’m being incredibly self indulgent.

YABU

In a few months, you can think this way but in reality, it has the only been a few days as they would have been off for easter anyway.

We have no idea how long this will go on for, schools may reopen sooner rather than later. Thre's no point being upset over something that hasn't happened yet.

There is a worldwide pandemic and they are part of history. This has never happened (and hopefully will never happen again) and I genuinley believe this will make us all better people and our DCs will appreciate being at school even more when they go back!

Being upset for them makes you a good mum - but it won't do yourself any good. We just have to stay positive as there's nothing else we can do.

I feel for those who were due to sit exams, but mine are similar ages to yours OP and actually this is good experience for university if that is in their plans. So many students get to university never having had to take responsibility for their own learning. Never having to plan all their work, decide which topic to do first, wake up late and have to catch up with their work. I know that for some children they will face tragedy and poverty which will have a major impact on their lives. Some children will be living in tough home situations for whom school was a break. It it those children I feel bad for.

@NailsNeedDoing I have a DS in same boat with A levels and summer plans all gone.

Its such a rite of passage and key turning point of their life that they wont be able to look back on and they have missed on those celebrations and the feeling of achievement of working hard and getting the results.

I know bigger things etc etc, but I feel for them.

'Resilience' is an over- and often misused buzzword atm, but what cory says is spot on. There's a lot of cultural emphasis atm on a perfect, smooth trajectory.

Sorry to appear to be using a war analogy (I'm not, really), but I'm put in mind of Judith Kerr's older brother - the family had fled from the Nazis and eventually settled in England, and he was about to start his law studies at (IIRC) Cambridge when war broke out and he was temporarily interned. He ended up as quite a prominent judge, I believe. A lot of that generation obviously had disruptions to education for various reasons, and yet ended up an incredibly productive and creative generation, by and large. I don't think it's all that far-fetched to attribute some of that to the hard-won ability to take the rough with the smooth. I'm certainly not auggesting anyone needs to have experienced traumatic events, but I'm not sure it helps to think of the current hiatus as a catastrophic 'derailment'. I say this as someone with no children currently at a critical transition point, so obviously it's easily said.

I'm glad my two are y4 and y2.
They are literate. There is a world of accessible general knowledge for them to absorb. Y2 SATs are merely a punchbag for teachers rather than a meaningful learning experience.
I can currently hear a documentary about the spread of Anglo-Saxon Christianity coming from the TV so DS1 is feeding his brains OK

It is a harder time for children learning the foundations of literacy and numeracy and those at the upper end working towards formal qualifications.

I'm not going to hold my breath, but I would love it if this initiates a shift to a more relaxed, holistic education system with less emphisis on relentless assessment and data analysis which was the final straw for my teaching days.

For those saying they'll catch up - some will, some won't and it will increase inequalities. Even among my two DDs there are differences. One has specific learning difficulties and struggles anyway - she's not going to be able to give any extra so will likely fall behind even further, whereas the other I'm confident will be able to catch up without too much problem. And that's before we even consider different levels of parental support etc. that already make a huge difference to educational outcomes.

No, I completely understand. Both my DC left school last year and, in this house, we're finding life quite easy going ATM.

However, if it has been last year when they were ding GCSEs and Alevels or the year before in Yr 10 & 12, I would have been beside myself with the anxiety caused by all this.

Realistically, I would know everyone is in the same boat and it must work out OK in the end, but I know I would have found getting to that point incredibly stressful.

Resilience is all very well if you have enough of it for this to be a 'makes you stronger' situation.
Some teens, mine included, actually just don't have enough reserves and are being overwhelmed by the current situation.

Furthermore, if GCSE grades are down a bit for a current y10, but they still get enough to progress to their next courses, then overall impact will be low. But for some they won't qualify for their chosen A levels or BTEC or apprenticeship, and that will have a more lasting impact.

This situation has the potential to take my DD from grade 4/5s to grade 3/4s. She has worked so hard to get up to the 4/5s (wouldn't have been expected from her KS2 results) so it couldn't have come at a worse time for her really.

DS was supposed to do GCSE this year.
No prom
No proper goodbye to teachers
No proper leaving Day

If it was just my kids missing school I would be really worried. Because it is every single child then I am not. There will be things put in place to help them. Everyone knows that children will need extra help.
I am more worried that it will be lock down then straight back to school. I think they need at least a week to get used to socialising with friends and being out in the world as normal, before going back to school. A readjustment period.

Yanbu. People seem determined to ignore the harm done by closing schools. Doesn't necessarily mean they should open, but closing them has many many downsides.

YANBU My kids are in the same years as yours. I'm not too worried about yr8 ds as he's happy doing what the school set. He's missing friends and sport but the Xbox is good for talking to some friends.

My yr10 son however is snowed under with work and finding it very difficult without a teacher to explain it all to him. He's also worried about his exams. The extra but for him is that he'd finally started going out with his friends and has abruptly lost that so he's really not happy. He understands why though.

I feel the same op.

I think we're all aware school needed to close but it doesn't help the worry. My youngest works hard but was under achieving before this and we're working at home but still think she'll be even further behind. Eldest would be okay if she stopped being so lazy.
I know they can't reopen and don't want them to really but doesn't stop the worry.

A reminder that exam grade boundaries are adjusted every year when first marking has been done. As this affects the whole cohort (and will do for current Y10 & Y12 for next year), grade boundary adjustments will ensure pupils are not disadvantaged by these circumstances.

YANBU. I'm very upset for my Y10 DD. Let's be honest the earliest they will go back is June and maybe even September. Trying to study for a GCSE on your own is hard work and not really possible IMO. Yes I'm sure it will make them stronger people (maybe!) but who wants their child to suffer? My Y8 DS I worry less about re his education but I worry about him socially. He is autistic and struggled for so long - now he finally has a group of friends but who knows what being apart for so long will do to friendship groups?

My DS is halfway through a managed move to a different high school and had been absolutely thriving before his school closed.

He’s now anxious and really stressed out thinking that the new school won’t carry on with his move when this is over, I’m doing my best to assure him that it will just carry on when school goes back but he’s not convinced. I feel really sorry for him.

grade boundary adjustments will ensure pupils are not disadvantaged by these circumstances

That's not strictly true though. Although adjustment to grade boundaries will mean the cohort as a whole won't be disadvantaged, some children will be disadvantaged. These will be those whose home lives are not conducive to working from home (low tech ability, parents who can't help, noisy siblings, nowhere to work, ill parents etc), or those who need more teacher input to learn, or those whose mental health makes them unable to work in the current circumstances.

On the whole the 'socially disadvantaged' will be more impacted by school closure than other kids.

YANBU. My DD is a lot younger than yours, only 5 and in her first year of school, but I get where you're coming from. Yr 10 in particular sounds like a tough year to be missing a chunk of.

I feel a little sad for mine as she was so timid at the start of the year but has been gradually growing in confidence and making good friends. This has really thrown her. It's the social side of things rather than the academic that I am concerned about - she is an only child so not getting any interaction with other kids right now. We're in Scotland so I'm not expecting her to be back to finish her first year at school. Rotten end for the small kids who can't even fully understand what's going on.

And yes I know things could be a lot worse but we're always going to worry about our kids!

I'm gutted for Dd. She's in year 9. Had a lot of issues at school due to undiagnosed ADHD, and problems with friendships due to her lack of emotional regulation (also ADhd). Finally got a diagnosis and medication and the results were astonishing. Went from a C/D student to A/B student. Finally made nice friends and kept them. It was all going so well and now it's all gone.

I'm so upset for her.

I know my dc are much more fortunate than a load of kids out there and am so grateful for that. It’s just so hard to get your head around them missing this amount of school. It goes against everything I believe and how I’ve brought them up even though these are exceptional circumstances it’s so difficult to digest.

Can I also add that it’s not just feeling confident from day 1 that the school would let dd down just from past experience, it’s also from coming onto Mumsnet

god the difference in the amount of effort schools are making is unreal. dd’s school is making nowhere near the amount of effort as schools I read on here, but that’s logical isn’t it? you only have to look at why ofsted etc exists some schools excel, some are piss poor at everything and that’s going to also reflect in their home learning offering

I appreciate that a lot of that is down to cohort too, I appreciate it would be pointless for schools like dd to set a high expectation in terms of online work, it would make far more sense to go with the majority of the cohort who will do little or more likely no learning whatsoever whilst at home so the school will need to start from where they left off in March anyway, regardless of how impossible trying to fit so much curriculum in a potentially very small amount of time might be

It's natural you feel disapointed for them. I wouldn't worry too much though, by the sound of it they'll slot back in nicely when school starts up again and all the other kids will have been in the same situation (sadly a much worse situation for many kids who don't have a safe, loving homelife).