to not have lots of food at ds 2nd 'birthday party'?

[OFSTEDoutstanding]

My ds is 2 on Tuesday and so we are having a family get together on Sunday afternoon. The 'party' is from 2.30-5 and I have only asked both sets of grandparents, uncle and godparents, there are no children coming as we are only having the get together for family members.
I am a childminder so will actually have a house full of children on his birthday and we are going out for the day to soft play as his birthday treat.
I am wondering whether I am being unreasonable putting out just a few bowls of crisps and nibbles instead of loads of party food. My ds will have had lunch before they come and will have tea when they leave and am assuming that they will do the same. We will of course have a birthday cake during the afternoon so that they can see him blow out his candles.
MIL reaction was well its not a real party if there is no party food, imo ds doesn't even know what a birthday is really, we are actually having this get together as MIL doesn't respect my job and often thinks she can turn up during work hours to see ds as I am at home I am not really working!! Obviously I don't want her turning up next week when I have mindees from 8-6 and ds goes to bed at 7.
Is it being unreasonable to not have loads of food and is it being unreasonable to wish my MIL will be able to keep her opinions to herself for 2 1/2 hours!

[NKF]

I'm sure it's fine but I would serve food. But then I always do. I come from a family who serves food at the drop of a hat and it would seem odd to me to have people in my house for several hours without producing plates of something. But probably best to make it easy on yourself.

[newgirl]

i think it is entirely up to you

but for me for that time i would do some very simple sandwiches and cakes

why not ask mil to make a large plate of sandwiches - how could she possibly object?!

[maisemor]

Your party, your house, your child therefore you decide.

She can host her own party and serve whatever she likes to serve.

I would serve food because I love to cook, and I usually end up serving way too much.

[lucyellensmum]

re the food YANBU

re MIL keeping quiet for that long - hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha .


Cake and nibbles sound perfect. Maybe you could do up a plate for MIL and make her wear a silly hat.

[mixedmama]

I dont think you are being unreasonable, although personally if I was inviting people round, especially for a party i would lay on a bit of food, mainly because Dh and I both come form cultural backgrounds where youhave to feed guests rather than because i want to.

[hana]

I'd probably put out more than just a few snacks - I would expect that for a party at that time tbh if i was going to a 'family get together'
sounds like you don't really want them there

[NoBiggy]

We had similar for DD last weekend. Just family, mainly adult, Sunday afternoon, cups of tea and birthday cake all round. DD was 1 btw.

Parties are for the child, and any invited children. That's the basis I work on. DD didn't have a party (we did go out for a fab treat mind you).

[portonovo]

You're being eminently reasonable, although I would make sure everyone knows what they're getting! So phrase it perhaps 'we'd love you to come and see x and have a piece of his birthday cake and a cuppa'.

I assume these family members aren't coming from far and wide so shouldn't expect a full tea unless they're invited for one. And you said no other children are invited so you're not disappointing any little ones.

[OFSTEDoutstanding]

Thanks for all your comments yes my MIL is a PITA!!! Think will stick to nibble sas said on the thread they are only travelling 5 miles to get to us so don't need a huge feed
Hana you are right don't really want them there or MIL anyway she is too opinionated and I spend whole time on edge waiting for her to upset someone